Obaa Yaa
My husband moans too loud
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We live on a compound with five flats, and I am struggling with the looks I get from my neighbours every morning. The way they stare at me feels so horrible.
My husband moans so loud during sex, and this happens almost every day. I always try to cover up but he always finds a way to keep making noise. He screams my name very loudly.
We have not yet completed our own house, and it will not be happening anytime soon. Please, how do I get him to stop all this excessive moans? I am so ashamed to move around the compound. The worst part is that my compound neighbours always see me when I am coming in or going out. Sometimes they avoid me and give me some looks, gossiping about me. Obaa Yaa, what should I do?
Adzo, Keta.
Dear Adzo,
What you are experiencing is quite embarrassing and emotionally painful.
Your feelings are completely valid. You are not doing anything wrong, immoral, or indecent.
The situation continues not because of your actions, but because your husband is ignoring your repeated pleas for privacy and dignity.
A loving and considerate spouse does not trivialise such distress. You need to have one final, calm but firm conversation with him outside the bedroom, making it clear that this behaviour of his is hurting you and must stop.
At the same time, set a clear boundary: if the noise continues, you will not feel comfortable being intimate with him when others can hear.
This is not punishment; it is self-protection. You can also reduce exposure temporarily by closing windows, adding background music, and choosing more private times.
Hold your head up and remember you have done nothing disgraceful. If your husband still refuses to change, seek marital counselling or a trusted mediator he respects. You deserve privacy, respect, and emotional safety in your marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I PROPOSED to a lady I have always admired during our university days. Interestingly, this woman was so much into me as well.
The only thing she always asks from a man is a gold chain, a new dress and sandals close to GH₵2,000.
According to her, if the man is able to get her all these items listed, then it is a win and yes for the man.
She demands these things because of the way a man treated her. Her argument is that if I should decide to end this relationship, she would have had something from me at least.
Obaa Yaa, is it worth venturing into?
Kelvin, Ofankor.
Dear Kelvin,
ANY love affair that is based on money or exchange of money for love or sex is an affair that begins on a wrong premise.
Such an affair is conditional and would encounter challenges sooner or later, because it is not grounded on mutual love and affection.
Besides, you are a student, how are you going to afford the gold chain? It looks as if this whole relationship would stress you. I will advise you to stay away from the lady.
Though you didn’t state your age in the letter, I plead with you to give yourself some time and relax. The beautiful one’s are not yet born.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY wife is a trader. She travels frequently to a neighbouring country almost every two weeks for two days.
While she was away, her step-sister comes over to do some cooking for me.
I have noticed that her step-sister has been making advances at me.
Recently, she entered the bathroom while I was in there, and realised I was bathing. She stood looking at me until I threw some water at her.
I intend to tell my wife about her sister’s behaviour, but friends say this may cause tension between the sisters. I need your view.
Ben, Togo.
Dear Ben,
IT is true that such revelation to your wife will cause some tension between the two sisters.
You can also sit your sister-in-law down and give her a stern warning. Let her understand that you intend to report her to her sister if she makes that mistake again.
Then you will have to see how you can arrange with your wife for her to cook enough food to store while she is away for those two days. If necessary, you may have to buy a fridge or freezer for that purpose. In that case, there would be no need for your sister-in-law to come and stay over. You will also have to take good care of the children if there are any.
A marriage only works when those involved are prepared to make sacrifices.
However, if after this arrangement this woman should persist with her advances, then bring the matter out into the open and let your wife and her family know about it.
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