Relationship
Marriage is a covenant
Covenant marriage is a sacred and moral commitment between a man and woman
The view of marriage as covenant is that marriage is a sacred union between husband and wife before God. Covenant marriage can be defined as a lifelong commitment between the spouses among evangelical Christians (Cade, 2010).
Marriage as a covenant is a belief that marriage is a sacred and binding agreement between two people (husband and wife).
Covenant Marriage is also considered a sacred and moral commitment between two individuals (man and woman), which involves not only social and legal, but also emotional, psychological and spiritual aspects.
It is a covenant, not just a contract; because it is rooted in a mutual promise to love and care for each other in a lifelong commitment.
This understanding of marriage emphasises the spiritual, psychological and emotional dimensions of the relationship and sees it as more than just a legal or social arrangement.
The idea of marriage as a covenant has roots in religious traditions, such as Christianity and Judaism, which view marriage as a sacred bond established by God. In these traditions, the covenantal nature of marriage is seen as a reflection of God’s covenant with humanity.
However, human’s desires of pursuing life for themselves are challenging the purposes of marriage by God.
A marriage (Christian marriage) is much more than a ‘business contract’ between husband and wife. It is a lifelong, exclusive covenant between two people (a man and woman), of which God is witness. He is present at every wedding! Jesus even says that, whenever a man and woman marry, God has joined them together (see Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9).
Here are some Scriptures from the Bible that support the idea of Christian marriage as a sacred covenant:
• Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
This verse emphasises the unity and oneness of a husband and wife in marriage, indicating that it is more than just a legal or social contract.
• Malachi 2:14: “But you say, ‘Why does he not?’ Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”
This verse refers to the covenant of marriage, indicating that it is a binding agreement before God.
• Matthew 19:5-6: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
In this passage, Jesus affirms the unity and permanence of marriage, indicating that it is a divine institution established by God.
• Ephesians 5:31-32: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church.
This verse compares the relationship between a husband and wife to that of Christ and the church, indicating the spiritual significance of marriage.
The above Scriptures suggest that Christian marriage is not just a contractual arrangement, but rather a sacred covenant established by God and upheld by the couple’s commitment to each other and to God.
The concept of marriage as a covenant has a lot of merits. It recognises the depth of commitment required to make a marriage successful and encourages both spouses to take their vows seriously and work together to build a strong and lasting relationship.
Ultimately, viewing marriage as a covenant can help couples to approach their relationship with a sense of reverence, commitment, and responsibility, which can lead to a deeper and more fulfilling connection.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be a tricky task. With the constant access to our loved ones’ lives that social media provides, it’s important to establish clear boundaries to ensure a healthy and trusting relationship. Here are some tips to help couples manage social media use.
1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step in setting boundaries on social media is to talk openly and honestly with your partner about how you both feel regarding social media usage. These conversations can be challenging but are essential for maintaining understanding and trust.
2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be specific about the behaviour that bothers you and what you would like to change.
- Instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”
3. Be Considerate
Respect and understand your partner’s point of view. The goal is not to control each other, but to create a healthy balance that strengthens the relationship.
4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette involves setting clear guidelines for how you and your partner will interact online. This may include:
- Whether you will follow each other on social media.
- What kinds of photos or posts are acceptable.
- How to interact with friends, family, or others online.
Privacy is key in these discussions.
5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is one of the most critical aspects of social media boundaries:
- Do not snoop on your partner’s social media accounts.
- Avoid sharing personal information about them.
- Don’t post pictures or updates they may be uncomfortable with.
6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Social media often highlights only the “best moments” of relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to others online.
- Focus on your unique relationship and its successes.
- Remember that every relationship faces its own challenges and joys.
Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is crucial for a healthy, happy relationship. Key factors include:
- Open and honest communication.
- Respect for each other’s privacy.
- Avoiding comparisons using social media as a benchmark.
By prioritising these practices, couples can strengthen trust, intimacy, and emotional connection while navigating the digital world together.
Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre
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In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.
Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.
When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled who were struggling to connect after a recent move found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.
Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness
- Deeper Understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
- Increased Empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
- Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
- Authentic Connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.
Cultivating Vulnerability
So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:
- Start Small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. Gradually share more personal aspects of yourself as you become comfortable.
- Practice Active Listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
- Be Present: Focus on the present moment and let go of distractions. This will help you stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
- Show Appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.
In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, couples are better able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.
Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners.
As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.
To be continued…
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei
(Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor)
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Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC Counsellor Training Institute)
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