Obaa Yaa
I suspect she is cheating on me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
l am 27 years old and my wife is 24. We have been in friendship for six years and things went on well. I sponsored her to undergo a- four- year hair dressing apprenticeship after which l organised a grand party to mark the completion of her training.
When she started working, she was full of gratitude to me for facilitating her apprenticeship training throughout the period. She would close early from work and come to my residence to prepare meals for me.
However, l later discovered that her visits to me were not as frequent as they used to be. When l enquired, she told me that her customers increased daily and that she had a lot of work to do.
Though l was not convinced, l ignored her answer and concluded that l should give her time to change. But the way things are going it is a clear testimony that she has a lover who is taking too much of her time.
Having got the fact that she is having an affair with somebody, l am contemplating telling her to pay the money l have spent on her with interest, else she will be inflicted with a strange disease till she dies.
I think nobody will blame me if l go ahead with my plan.
Kwesi – Mankessim.
Dear Kwesi,
Take it easy and try to forget about the sacrifices and the assistance you have made to make her fully established in life.
You must remember that you have not as yet performed any rites to officially make her become your wife.
I am sure it was not easy raising funds to support her throughout her apprenticeship, yet l would appeal to you to consider all that you have done for her a charitable act which should not attract a reward in return.
I believe you are a Christian and God will not be happy if you cause her to fall sick to serve as punishment for cheating on you.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
