Obaa Yaa

I am disappointed in him

Published

4 years ago

April 9, 2022

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We became close mates at school, attended lectures together, held discussions, studied and did assignments together. These academic activities were carried out in a frank atmosphere and we were happy we had completed our programmes with good grades.

A year after completing school, we continued to exchange text messages, made regular calls and he visited me a couple of occasions. With time, we continued to share intimate information and it became obvious that we loved each other.

This realisation intensified our way of thinking, how we carried and conducted ourselves in public. We managed to meet after church every Sunday to spend a few moments together.

Unfortunately, l became pregnant but was shocked to hear from my lover that he was not responsible for the pregnancy. He failed to call on me as he used to and even blocked my telephone line. This gave me the reason to infer that my so- called lover did not genuinely love me per the action that he took.

Embarrassed about this unfortunate incident, l had to break the news to my mother who later informed my father.

My parents had to consult his parents to trash out the matter.

I was disappointed in him because it became abundantly clear that he was not sincere in his dealings with me.

The matter was finally resolved and his family had to support me financially until l was delivered of my baby and continued for the upkeep of the baby.

When the dust finally settled, he said he was very sorry for what had happened but l must indicate that l was disgraced and seriously hurt by someone who claimed he loved me.

Jennifer, Accra.

Dear Jenifer,

Mutual love can only triumph in an atmosphere where sincerity plays a meaningful part of one’s dealing with the other person. It means love for one another should be paramount even going to the extent of laying down one’s life for the other.

Certain things happen in our lives to teach us lessons, either to prepare us against challenges in future or keep our conducts in check.

Experience is the best teacher, so goes the popular saying, and having known the true character of your so-called lover, you are at liberty to make a definite decision about your dealings with him.

This unfortunate incident has taught you a lesson which you will never forget.

Notwithstanding this incident, concentrate on whatever you are doing to derive maximum benefit from it.

Obaa Yaa

I don’t want to lose my girlfriend

Published

4 days ago

May 30, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.

However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.

Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.

According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.

Thomas, Wa.

Dear Thomas,

First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.

If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.

Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.

At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.

A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.

If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.

I wish you all the best.

Obaa Yaa

My Dad won’t attend my wedding

Published

2 weeks ago

May 23, 2026

WeeklySpectator

My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.

Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.

I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?

Kwesi,

Suhum

Dear Kwesi,

Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.

You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.

If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.

Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.

Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.