Obaa Yaa
I am tired of frequent quarrels
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We started our relationship on a lovely note, got married and some friends wished us well on our marriage journey.
With time we had two lovely children who are in the lower primary school and make our lives interesting and give us much joy.
Unfortunately, the quarrelsome behaviour of my wife is pushing me against the wall to take an unacceptable decision by terminating the marriage.
Though I am a quiet person who will hardly be heard in the house let alone meddle in the affairs of other people, my wife is always picking up quarrels with others, a situation which is causing me disgrace and making me feel uncomfortable.
Having had enough of the disgrace, l am contemplating quitting the marriage but will not allow her to take the children from me.
Do you consider my action to be appropriate?
Kwabena, Accra.
Dear Kwabena,
It is unfortunate that your marriage has reached this stage and it is forcing you to take a decision which will likely affect the well-being of your children.
No matter the problems, children suffer in diverse ways when marriages break up.
I will advise that you keep your calm in the face of the challenges being posed by your wife and avoid taking decisions which will rather cause more problems in your family.
Getting your pastor to talk to your wife will help bring a lasting peace in your family.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
