Obaa Yaa
He is ungrateful despite my assistance
Dear Obaa Yaa,
l met my boyfriend five years ago after he had completed Senior High School and could not continue his education due to poverty.
Though a teenager, l had established myself in a lucrative business and was able to expand it to an appreciable height which enabled me to support him to continue his education.
I managed throughout the period until he had his first degree and did his National Service at Mankesim where l visited him a couple of times.
After the service, he opted to teach in a private school to while away the time. After two years, he was able to secure a job at Takoradi and had to move there.
Friends advised me to convince him to marry me but he pleaded that he would like to gather some money before taking that step.
Months followed and my boyfriend failed to visit home as he used to and prevented me from paying him visits with the excuse that his school had arranged series of weekend trips and extra lessons for the school children.
A good friend who knew of our friendship later told me that my lover was married with a child at his new location. Several attempts made to get him on phone to respond to my concerns and questions failed.
A few days ago, he informed me that he was no longer interested in me and that he was prepared to pay for the cost l had incurred in his education.
I was disturbed, cried for weeks unending and in the process fell sick for one month.
Please my heart is troubled about his behaviour and l am not thinking about the money l have spent to educate him. However, l am disappointed in him. What step should l take?
Comfort, Koforidua
Dear Comfort,
You must be commended highly for the effort you have made in educating your boyfriend who has turned out to become ungrateful.
It is, indeed, true that you must be having traumatic experiences and need a counselor to take you through series of lessons in order to calm the growing tension in you.
Though it is not easy to bear such a painful experience, you must try to overcome the pain this gentleman has caused you.
Put your trust in God and do not forget that He is the greatest provider, will help you out of this problem and reward you with a better husband.
God could be taking you from a serious problem in the future if this gentleman had married you.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
