Obaa Yaa
Poverty is preventing me from marrying
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I was in two serious relationships, we loved each other and had wanted to marry but this could not go on as we had planned.
Though l was disturbed when l broke up with the lady in my first relationship, l felt very bad when the second one also ended abruptly.
But l must be quick to point out that my inability to support the two ladies caused the break up in the two relationships.
I made the necessary efforts to get a job in order to improve on my economic fortunes but things could not work out well.
Unfortunately, other men who were ready to marry succeeded in snatching the ladies from me. The situation has left me under pressure and has given me a lot to think about.
The second lady said she loved me but my inability to secure a job caused her to accept the proposal from the other man. She confided in me that she still loved me despite all that had happened between us.
According to her she had to accept the proposal from the husband because of too much pressure mounted on her by her parents.
Given the opportunity to make her decision, she would accept to marry me but was afraid of what her parents would say.
What should l do?
Tawiah, Accra
Dear Tawiah,
I find your letter quite disturbing because of the series of disappointments you have had so far.
It is good to be forthright in this matter and you must be commended for identifying the cause of ypour problem.
Though you are making frantic efforts to secure a job in order to stop the recurrent problem of unsuccessful marriages, it is believed that you have the prerequisite qualification and luck will surely shine on you one day.
Having accepted to marry that man should be enough to sever relations with your former girlfriend who can easily find trouble for you.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I PROPOSED to a lady I have always admired during our university days. Interestingly, this woman was so much into me as well.
The only thing she always asks from a man is a gold chain, a new dress and sandals close to GH₵2,000.
According to her, if the man is able to get her all these items listed, then it is a win and yes for the man.
She demands these things because of the way a man treated her. Her argument is that if I should decide to end this relationship, she would have had something from me at least.
Obaa Yaa, is it worth venturing into?
Kelvin, Ofankor.
Dear Kelvin,
ANY love affair that is based on money or exchange of money for love or sex is an affair that begins on a wrong premise.
Such an affair is conditional and would encounter challenges sooner or later, because it is not grounded on mutual love and affection.
Besides, you are a student, how are you going to afford the gold chain? It looks as if this whole relationship would stress you. I will advise you to stay away from the lady.
Though you didn’t state your age in the letter, I plead with you to give yourself some time and relax. The beautiful one’s are not yet born.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
MY wife is a trader. She travels frequently to a neighbouring country almost every two weeks for two days.
While she was away, her step-sister comes over to do some cooking for me.
I have noticed that her step-sister has been making advances at me.
Recently, she entered the bathroom while I was in there, and realised I was bathing. She stood looking at me until I threw some water at her.
I intend to tell my wife about her sister’s behaviour, but friends say this may cause tension between the sisters. I need your view.
Ben, Togo.
Dear Ben,
IT is true that such revelation to your wife will cause some tension between the two sisters.
You can also sit your sister-in-law down and give her a stern warning. Let her understand that you intend to report her to her sister if she makes that mistake again.
Then you will have to see how you can arrange with your wife for her to cook enough food to store while she is away for those two days. If necessary, you may have to buy a fridge or freezer for that purpose. In that case, there would be no need for your sister-in-law to come and stay over. You will also have to take good care of the children if there are any.
A marriage only works when those involved are prepared to make sacrifices.
However, if after this arrangement this woman should persist with her advances, then bring the matter out into the open and let your wife and her family know about it.
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