Obaa Yaa
Poverty is preventing me from marrying
- /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 27
Warning: Trying to access array offset on false in /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 27
&description=Poverty is preventing me from marrying', 'pinterestShare', 'width=750,height=350'); return false;" title="Pin This Post">
- Share
- Tweet /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 72
Warning: Trying to access array offset on false in /home/u249204778/domains/spectator.com.gh/public_html/wp-content/plugins/mvp-social-buttons/mvp-social-buttons.php on line 72
&description=Poverty is preventing me from marrying', 'pinterestShare', 'width=750,height=350'); return false;" title="Pin This Post">
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I was in two serious relationships, we loved each other and had wanted to marry but this could not go on as we had planned.
Though l was disturbed when l broke up with the lady in my first relationship, l felt very bad when the second one also ended abruptly.
But l must be quick to point out that my inability to support the two ladies caused the break up in the two relationships.
I made the necessary efforts to get a job in order to improve on my economic fortunes but things could not work out well.
Unfortunately, other men who were ready to marry succeeded in snatching the ladies from me. The situation has left me under pressure and has given me a lot to think about.
The second lady said she loved me but my inability to secure a job caused her to accept the proposal from the other man. She confided in me that she still loved me despite all that had happened between us.
According to her she had to accept the proposal from the husband because of too much pressure mounted on her by her parents.
Given the opportunity to make her decision, she would accept to marry me but was afraid of what her parents would say.
What should l do?
Tawiah, Accra
Dear Tawiah,
I find your letter quite disturbing because of the series of disappointments you have had so far.
It is good to be forthright in this matter and you must be commended for identifying the cause of ypour problem.
Though you are making frantic efforts to secure a job in order to stop the recurrent problem of unsuccessful marriages, it is believed that you have the prerequisite qualification and luck will surely shine on you one day.
Having accepted to marry that man should be enough to sever relations with your former girlfriend who can easily find trouble for you.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
