Obaa Yaa
He has disappeared
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with this gentleman who was very vibrant in his church and the community. He was the lead singer in the church and was able to win many souls for the church through his inspirational singing.
Though we promised to abstain from sex, l had the shock of my life when both of us could not resist the temptation to stay away from sex and l became pregnant.
Surprisingly, ever since l informed him that l was pregnant, he stopped calling my telephone and the greatest shock of my life is that this gentleman has left his house for an unknown destination.
Checks in his house have revealed that the man he had informed me as his elder brother is a mere benefactor and allowed my boyfriend to stay with him since he was stranded.
What shall l do with the pregnancy since my parents are not aware and l am embarrassed?
Ama, Accra.
Dear Ama,
The condition in which you find yourself will definitely make you to be disturbed. You have made a serious mistake in falling in love with somebody who cannot be trusted and whose background you do not know.
The only option left for you at the moment is to inform your parents that you are pregnant. It will be quite embarrassing to tell them that you cannot find your secret lover who had made you pregnant.
Though difficult, your parents will help you with a solution to the problem you find yourself in currently.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
