Obaa Yaa
My friend’s ex-girl expresses interest in me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My friend has been in love with a girl for the past two years. Their relationship has been lovely that they have planned to marry.
Unfortunately, with the twist of events, my friend has stopped moving with the lady without any tangible explanation. I have tried to convince him to change his decision but he would not listen.
A month later, the girl called me that she would like to pay me a visit. Having considered her my friend’s former girl friend, l allowed her to visit me with the reason that she would like to discuss my friend’s conduct with me.
During interactions, she told me she had made a mistake in accepting my friend’s proposal to be his girlfriend. According to her, she wished she were my wife because l am a cool-tempered, quiet, tolerant and a humble person.
I informed my friend about this sudden change of mind of his girl friend. Surprisingly, he encouraged me to go ahead, since he was no longer interested in her.
Advise me on the right action to take.
Kodzo, Accra.
Dear Kodzo,
Though your friend has given you the green light to proceed because he is no longer interested, you must know that the acceptance of this offer would forever strain your relationship with him.
This is an indication that this girl has observed you for a long time and has secretly developed the love for you.
He might have given you the encouragement to go ahead, as a face-saving gesture which did not come from his heart. Though he might have willingly gone for another lady, the element of envy would definitely be in him against you if you go ahead to marry the lady.
Reject the suggestion from this lady and have your peace of mind. Despite her compliments, you must be bold to explain to her that you cannot do the unthinkable because of her previous relationship with your close friend.
Make her to understand that you are not the best man around, and that she will meet a man of her heart very soon.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.
Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.
This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I has now become a family affair.
I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.
He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.
Baaba, Apam
Dear Baaba,
Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage.
Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.
Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.
You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.
On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200.
He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.
Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.
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