Obaa Yaa
Can l question him now?
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We have been married for seven years and blessed with two children. Though we are not rich, we can be described as one of the happy couples in town.
A couple of years ago, my husband delayed in coming home after close of work without any plausible explanation.
When l complained, he insisted my concerns had no basis and that l was overly becoming jealous of people who genuinely approached him for business.
Fortunately, the cat was let out of the bag when l had information about his lover and the house of the girlfriend.
Last month, l decided to go to the house when l had information that he had just arrived in the house. True to the information received, l met him in the house eating with the lady.
My husband became confused when he saw me and could not eat the sumptuous meal that had been prepared for him.
Without raising an alarm, l asked him to get ready so that we go home.
He washed his hands and we went home together as though nothing had happened.
The informants called to find out if he had travelled because it has been a long time since they saw him in the area.
Can l question him now?
Vic, Accra.
Dear Vic,
You are well composed and have done what many women cannot do under such a bizarre circumstance without causing confusion and exchanging blows.
I think your plan has worked to perfection and l am convinced your husband has regretted his action. Having been caught in the act, there is no way denying any longer.
He would have been emboldened if you had generated a fight and this would have provided him the opportunity to return in order to appease the lady.
Allow the matter to die a natural death.
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.
