Obaa Yaa
I intend to quit marriage
He was a devout Christian who carried out his activities with zeal and to the admiration of the lecturers and students in the institute.
Without mincing words, l developed deep love for him and wished l could be his special friend to make me stand tall among the rest of the female students.
In school, other students discussed their liking for this senior of ours and there was not a single person who said anything bad about his character.
As fate would have it, this student lost his school Identification Card and the message went round but it could not be found anywhere.
I went home to pick up provisions my parents bought for me when my mother showed me an ID card that had been found in town and enquired from me if l could trace the owner in my school.
I screamed the loudest to inform my mother that the owner was one of our school mates. This discovery marked the beginning of our friendship which lasted three years without any misunderstanding between us.
I receive his call one afternoon that he would like to accompany me to the house after close of work. Shortly after he had arrived in my office, there came a downpour which lasted more than four hours and claimed many lives.
Terrified by the havoc the rain had caused and the fear of the unknown, he suggested that l should spend the night in his apartment for my safety.
Unfortunately, in the night, he could not hold unto his moral principles while l also gave in suddenly to his sexual demands. l got pregnant, became sick in the process and had to pass through series of challenges.
Terrified initially, he later came to perform the marriage rites and promised to follow up with wedding when conditions improved.
Surprisingly, his character has changed after l was delivered of my child. He has refused to support me in any way and failed to heed my calls to assist in educating the child.
I was shocked to the marrow to discover that my husband has a three-year-old male child and he pays frequent visits to the family.
In shame, he has confirmed the story after l had provided further details.
I am taken aback by this new development and contemplating ending the marriage.
Will l be right in carrying out this plan?
Akua.
Dear Akua,
You should be worried about how this ‘angel’ of yours who you cherished in the past has transformed, the circumstances under which you got pregnant and why he is treating you like this.
Kindly remain calm and maintain your life in the modest way possible. It is likely that he is passing through inexplicable challenges and should be given sometime to straighten up his life.
It is too early to throw in the towel. Time will definitely tell.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
