Obaa Yaa
Can l question him now?
We have been married for seven years and blessed with two children. Though we are not rich, we can be described as one of the happy couples in town.
A couple of years ago, my husband delayed in coming home after close of work without any plausible explanation.
When l complained, he insisted my concerns had no basis and that l was overly becoming jealous of people who genuinely approached him for business.
Fortunately, the cat was let out of the bag when l had information about his lover and the house of the girlfriend.
Last month, l decided to go to the house when l had information that he had just arrived in the house. True to the information received, l met him in the house eating with the lady.
My husband became confused when he saw me and could not eat the sumptuous meal that had been prepared for him.
Without raising an alarm, l asked him to get ready so that we go home.
He washed his hands and we went home together as though nothing had happened.
The informants called to find out if he had travelled because it has been a long time since they saw him in the area.
Can l question him now?
Vic, Accra.
Dear Vic,
You are well composed and have done what many women cannot do under such a bizarre circumstance without causing confusion and exchanging blows.
I think your plan has worked to perfection and l am convinced your husband has regretted his action. Having been caught in the act, there is no way denying any longer.
He would have been emboldened if you had generated a fight and this would have provided him the opportunity to return in order to appease the lady.
Allow the matter to die a natural death.
My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.
Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.
I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?
Kwesi,
Suhum
Dear Kwesi,
Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.
You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.
If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.
Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.
Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Before we got married five years ago, my husband told me that his former wife left him shortly after he lost his job following a financial scandal which rocked the company.
But thanks be to God that the court cleared him and ordered the company to pay him for the five years he stayed at home for wrongful dismissal.
As soon as this ex-wife heard that the company had complied with the court’s orders and paid him, she shamelessly declared that she was making a comeback and has vowed to kick me out of my matrimonial home at all cost.
She promised to hire ‘machomen’ to throw my things out of the house and was prepared to bear the consequence for that action.
Even though my husband has assured me that this would never happen, her ex is bent on disturbing my peace.
What should I do?
Adzo,
Tafo.
Dear Bertha,
The lady is threatening to use violence against you. That’s constitutes a breach of the law and she must be reported to the police for issuing those threats.
However, I will advise you to discuss it with your husband so that you are not seen as acting entirely on your own.
As a matter of fact, it is only the police that can handle this matter professionally and must be involved, unless of course your husband talks to his ex-wife to stop harassing you. So have a good discussion with your husband about the matter. All the best.
