Obaa Yaa
Can l question him now?
We have been married for seven years and blessed with two children. Though we are not rich, we can be described as one of the happy couples in town.
A couple of years ago, my husband delayed in coming home after close of work without any plausible explanation.
When l complained, he insisted my concerns had no basis and that l was overly becoming jealous of people who genuinely approached him for business.
Fortunately, the cat was let out of the bag when l had information about his lover and the house of the girlfriend.
Last month, l decided to go to the house when l had information that he had just arrived in the house. True to the information received, l met him in the house eating with the lady.
My husband became confused when he saw me and could not eat the sumptuous meal that had been prepared for him.
Without raising an alarm, l asked him to get ready so that we go home.
He washed his hands and we went home together as though nothing had happened.
The informants called to find out if he had travelled because it has been a long time since they saw him in the area.
Can l question him now?
Vic, Accra.
Dear Vic,
You are well composed and have done what many women cannot do under such a bizarre circumstance without causing confusion and exchanging blows.
I think your plan has worked to perfection and l am convinced your husband has regretted his action. Having been caught in the act, there is no way denying any longer.
He would have been emboldened if you had generated a fight and this would have provided him the opportunity to return in order to appease the lady.
Allow the matter to die a natural death.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
