Obaa Yaa
Can l question him now?
We have been married for seven years and blessed with two children. Though we are not rich, we can be described as one of the happy couples in town.
A couple of years ago, my husband delayed in coming home after close of work without any plausible explanation.
When l complained, he insisted my concerns had no basis and that l was overly becoming jealous of people who genuinely approached him for business.
Fortunately, the cat was let out of the bag when l had information about his lover and the house of the girlfriend.
Last month, l decided to go to the house when l had information that he had just arrived in the house. True to the information received, l met him in the house eating with the lady.
My husband became confused when he saw me and could not eat the sumptuous meal that had been prepared for him.
Without raising an alarm, l asked him to get ready so that we go home.
He washed his hands and we went home together as though nothing had happened.
The informants called to find out if he had travelled because it has been a long time since they saw him in the area.
Can l question him now?
Vic, Accra.
Dear Vic,
You are well composed and have done what many women cannot do under such a bizarre circumstance without causing confusion and exchanging blows.
I think your plan has worked to perfection and l am convinced your husband has regretted his action. Having been caught in the act, there is no way denying any longer.
He would have been emboldened if you had generated a fight and this would have provided him the opportunity to return in order to appease the lady.
Allow the matter to die a natural death.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
