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Obaa Yaa

Can l question him now?

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We have been married for seven years and blessed with two children. Though we are not rich, we can be described as one of the happy couples in town.

A couple of years ago, my husband delayed in coming home after close of work without any plausible explanation. 

When l complained, he insisted my concerns had no basis and that l was overly becoming jealous of people who genuinely approached him for business.

Fortunately, the cat was let out of the bag when l had information about his lover and the house of the girlfriend.

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Last month, l decided to go to the house when l had information that he had just arrived in the house.  True to the information received, l met him in the house eating with the lady.

My husband became confused when he saw me and could not eat the sumptuous meal that had been prepared for him.

Without raising an alarm, l asked him to get ready so that we go home.

He washed his hands and we went home together as though nothing had happened.

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The informants called to find out if he had travelled because it has been a long time since they saw him in the area.

Can l question him now?

Vic, Accra.

Dear Vic,

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You are well composed and have done what many women cannot do under such a bizarre circumstance without causing confusion and exchanging blows.

I think your plan has worked to perfection and l am convinced your husband has regretted his action.  Having been caught in the act, there is no way denying any longer.

He would have been emboldened if you had generated a fight and this would have provided him the opportunity to return in order to appease the lady.

Allow the matter to die a natural death.

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Obaa Yaa

It’s a no for civil engineering

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MY daughter completed Senior High School this year and she had a very good grade.

With her grade, her father wants her to pursue Computer Science Engineering, but she had an interest in Civil Engineering.

Finally, admission forms are out and my daughter got Civil Engineering.

Her father doesn’t pay for her school fees because she did not choose the course he wanted her to offer.

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Due to this, they don’t see eye to eye and it is causing tension at home.

Please, how do I reconcile father and daughter? I am so stressed with what’s going on between the two. Thank you.

Enyonam, Keta.

Dear Enyonam,

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BOTH of them have legitimate feelings: the father may be worried about her future and wants to guide her, while your daughter wants to pursue a field she is genuinely interested in.

Do not try to settle the matter when either person is angry. The purpose should not be to decide who is right, but to find a solution that protects their relationship and your daughter’s future.

Ask your daughter to explain why she chose Civil Engineering.

She should explain what attracts her to the course, the subjects involved, the career opportunities and, importantly, why she believes she can succeed in it. If she has researched the universities and career paths, she should present that information to her father.

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Talk to the father that financial support should not become a weapon.

It is understandable that a parent wants to have a say in a child’s education, especially when paying the fees. However, withdrawing educational support simply because his daughter chose a different legitimate course can damage their relationship. He can express his disagreement while still supporting her and allowing her to take responsibility for her choice.

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Obaa Yaa

My crush is giving me attitude

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Dear Araba,

THERE is this handsome gentleman in my area I am crushing on badly. He gave me a lift to the office a month ago and I mistakenly farted in the car.

When the incident happened in the car, he just stared at me but looked unbothered, which made me a bit comfortable.

Araba, Takoradi.

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Dear Araba,

HONESTLY, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You are human, and human beings fart. The fact that he didn’t say anything or make you feel uncomfortable probably means he understood that it was an accidental, normal bodily function.

Ever since that incident happened, he has stopped calling or texting me. He doesn’t even give me a lift any longer.

Please, tell me, is it a crime to fart in your crush’s car?

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What is keeping you embarrassed after months is not the fart itself but the meaning you have attached to it. You have replayed the incident so many times that it has become bigger in your mind than it probably ever was in his.

Just confront him that it was a mistake and, for that matter, we should let go of everything and move on.

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