Obaa Yaa
Should I stick to my plan or listen to my guardians?
Dear ObaaYaa
I was in the third year of SHS when unfortunately, l became pregnant and had to terminate my education.
Though my situation was embarrassing and quite disgraceful, my guardians did not let me down but accepted me and allowed me to stay at home till the time l would be delivered of my baby.
They provided me with everything and really made life comfortable for me throughout the period l was pregnant.
Surprisingly, they gave me the assurance that l would return to school to enable me to continue my education.
Thanks be to God, l was delivered of my baby who is now three months old. My problem now is there is no one at home to take care of the baby because my guardians are workers and my siblings are also not available to assist me in taking care of the baby while l go to school.
Despite this challenge, my guardians are still insisting that l should return to school at all cost and no amount of explanation would help change their decision.
Inasmuch as l would have lovedto be in school, my plea is that l would like to wait till my baby is at least a year old before l return to school.
I am confused and do not know what to do. Should I stick to my plan or listen to my guardians even though l have no one to take care of the baby. Please advise me on what to do.
Akua, Accra.
Dear Akua,
This column would like to commend you for your decision to maintain the pregnancy and praise your guardians who have provided you a serene atmosphere throughout the nine months of pregnancy.
Your letter was silent on your parents, especially your mother who should take care of your child while you return to school.
Granted that your mother is not there, the mother of the gentleman who impregnated you or any close relative of his should also come in to lend their support.
Failure to listen to your guardians, having considered the assistance they have given you so far will be tantamount to ingratitude, and they will not take kindly to it. Their insistence of you returning to school after three months could be linked to the commencement of the academic calendar.
Nursing mothers who work always ensure that they look for somebody to take care of their children while they go to work.
Alternatively, you can also make arrangement and send your baby to a day care centre, provided you have the means to pay for it.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
