Obaa Yaa
Stepson comes with blessings
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been married for five years without a child and as usual people gave us names and tried to ridicule us.
Though we were in hard times and it was extremely difficult to obtain a square meal, l was more surprised to learn that in the midst of all these problems, my husband had gone to impregnate a young lady and the parents had threatened to report the matter to the police.
Following this incident, an elderly woman in the area came to whisper into my ears that though difficult to bear, l should not get angry since this unfortunate incident could bring about a turning point in my marriage. Initially, l considered the piece of advice from the old woman a trash.
While some blamed my husband for the mess he had caused, others were quick to say that he was justified because l could not conceive.
I lost appetite for food and the whole world seemed to be crumbling over my head. Under the circumstance, several issues came to my mind and the idea of divorce stood tall among the options.
There was no peace in the house a few days following this shocker from my husband. Having thought about it, l could not believe it and contemplated divorce in order to have my peace.
One early morning, I was surprised when the old woman came to our house again and asked me to forget about divorce, and ended with these words, “Treat this child with love and one day you will reap the immense benefits”.
After this child was fully integrated into the family, my husband got a job, l became pregnant and ever since there is absolute peace in the family. Thanks to the good counsel of the old lady who calmed the raging tempers in the family.
I wish to use this column to advise wives to remain patient when matters go bad.
Faustina, Accra.
Dear Faustina,
I am extremely glad about this wonderful piece of information which will help calm raging tempers in families when such issues occur.
My conviction is that it is always advisable to listen to good counsel whenever there is a problem and take the right decision.
This should not be misconstrued as supporting husbands who indulge in extra-marital affairs.
I wish to commend Madam Faustina for the demonstration of tolerance and love for the little boy. Having gotten a child, she must not change her attitude towards this boy.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
