Obaa Yaa

Stepson comes with blessings

Published

5 years ago

November 20, 2021

Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been married for five years without a child and as usual people gave us names and tried to ridicule us.
Though we were in hard times and it was extremely difficult to obtain a square meal, l was more surprised to learn that in the midst of all these problems, my husband had gone to impregnate a young lady and the parents had threatened to report the matter to the police.
Following this incident, an elderly woman in the area came to whisper into my ears that though difficult to bear, l should not get angry since this unfortunate incident could bring about a turning point in my marriage. Initially, l considered the piece of advice from the old woman a trash.
While some blamed my husband for the mess he had caused, others were quick to say that he was justified because l could not conceive.
I lost appetite for food and the whole world seemed to be crumbling over my head. Under the circumstance, several issues came to my mind and the idea of divorce stood tall among the options.
There was no peace in the house a few days following this shocker from my husband. Having thought about it, l could not believe it and contemplated divorce in order to have my peace.
One early morning, I was surprised when the old woman came to our house again and asked me to forget about divorce, and ended with these words, “Treat this child with love and one day you will reap the immense benefits”.
After this child was fully integrated into the family, my husband got a job, l became pregnant and ever since there is absolute peace in the family. Thanks to the good counsel of the old lady who calmed the raging tempers in the family.
I wish to use this column to advise wives to remain patient when matters go bad.
Faustina, Accra.

Dear Faustina,
I am extremely glad about this wonderful piece of information which will help calm raging tempers in families when such issues occur.
My conviction is that it is always advisable to listen to good counsel whenever there is a problem and take the right decision.
This should not be misconstrued as supporting husbands who indulge in extra-marital affairs.
I wish to commend Madam Faustina for the demonstration of tolerance and love for the little boy. Having gotten a child, she must not change her attitude towards this boy.

Obaa Yaa

I don’t want to lose my girlfriend

Published

4 days ago

May 30, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a young gentleman who is 25 years of age. I have been dating a lady for the past three years and I have plans of taking her to the altar.

However, there is a problem that threatens the love and bond that exits between us.

Growing up, I have vouched not to engage in any sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. But she seems to have an issue with it.

According to her, my decision makes her feel I am not truly in love as I claim . I must say that I am confused about the situation and I don’t want to lose her because I love her so much.

Thomas, Wa.

Dear Thomas,

First of all, there is nothing wrong with your decision to abstain from sex before marriage. True love is not only proven through physical intimacy, but also through respect, patience, understanding and shared values.

If your girlfriend truly loves you, she should be willing to respect your convictions just as you respect her feelings. It is important for both of you to have an honest and calm conversation about your beliefs, expectations and future together.

Let her understand that your decision is not because you do not love her, but because you value both her and the relationship deeply.

At the same time, try to listen to her concerns without judging her. Relationships survive when couples communicate openly and support each other’s principles. Never feel pressured to do something against your values simply out of fear of losing someone.

A healthy relationship should not force one partner to compromise their morals.

If the two of you truly see a future together, then patience, trust and mutual respect will help strengthen your bond. Stay true to yourself while continuing to show her genuine love, care and commitment.

I wish you all the best.

Obaa Yaa

My Dad won’t attend my wedding

Published

2 weeks ago

May 23, 2026

WeeklySpectator

My dad has threatened not to attend my wedding; instead, he has been raining curses on me.

Each morning and night, he would call and rain curses on me, telling me I was bringing shame and bad luck to my marriage because I told him, my step father will be present.

I have personally been to his house to invite him, yet he keeps telling me he can’t make it. What should I do?

Kwesi,

Suhum

Dear Kwesi,

Your dad’s curses, guilt, and threats come from his pain and fear of losing his role, but that doesn’t make his behaviour idle.

You can love him as your father and still set a firm boundary for him.

If he crosses that line, end the call or stop replying his messages. Protect your wedding and your peace by limiting contact, especially late at night and early morning, and stand by your partner.

Remember, respecting your dad doesn’t mean erasing the role your stepdad played – both can matter without problems.

Don’t let his behaviour dictate the start of your marriage. You can’t control if he comes around, but you can control not letting his anger affect your emotions.