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Obaa Yaa

l suspect she has secret lover

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Dear Obaa Yaa,
l am 28 years old trader and l have a lady who is 25 years old and also a petty trader. We have planned to stay without sex and use the period to study each other well before getting married.
We have planned not to visit each other in the night in order to avoid falling into the temptation of indulging in pre-marital sex. During this period, we occasionally buy nice gifts for each other and our birthdays are treated with special presents.
Since she comes to assist me in selling my goods, l have suggested that we occupy the same shop where l operate but she has objected to it for the reason that her customers will find it difficult to locate her.
My lady occasionally visits me on Sundays because that is the only day we do not sell in the market.
As the years pass by and desires keep mounting, l have asked her for sex but she has refused to give in to my request.
Judging from her actions and utterances these days, l am suspecting that she has a secret lover who she gives much attention to of late and, therefore, does not mind me these days.
l am planning to pick someone who will satisfy my sexual desires and probably marry me if the need be. Should l go ahead?
Matthew, Akim Oda.

Dear Matthew,
Marriage is a life-long process which is complex and goes beyond sex. Therefore, a partner who is capable of providing a fraction of this requirement would eventually become a failure.
Your decision not to visit each other in the night to prevent the two of you from indulging in pre-marital sex is commendable, since it takes ladies who are morally strong and prepared to withstand temptations while in friendship.
As the two of you have made a decision about your future, you should encourage each other to stick to your principles.
Suspicion is not good in a relationship, therefore, try to iron out petty issues with her and matters will be good.

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Obaa Yaa

Must a young worker always keep quiet?

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I need your advice on something I have been experiencing at work. I am a young employee working in an organisation where most of the people in leadership positions are much older than me.

I respect their experience and authority, but sometimes I feel that being young means my opinions are automatically treated as less important.

There are situations where I have noticed problems with the way certain things are done. I have also had ideas that I believe could improve some of our processes. But whenever I try to raise them, I am sometimes told that I am too young to understand how things work.

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Recently, I made a suggestion during a meeting, and instead of discussing the idea, my supervisor asked me how long I have been working in the organisation.

I understand that experience matters. Leadership also requires wisdom and maturity. But does being young mean we should remain silent until we become older?

What worries me most is that many young employees around me have good ideas but are afraid to speak. They fear being labelled disrespectful, difficult or rebellious. Some simply keep quiet and do what they are told, even when they know something could be done better.

Obaa Yaa, where should the balance be between respecting leadership and speaking up? Should young employees simply follow instructions, or should leaders create an environment where young workers can question, contribute and even challenge ideas respectfully?

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Alfred, Amasaman.

Dear Alfred,

 A young worker should respect experience and authority, but leadership should also judge ideas on their merit rather than the age of the person presenting them.

Being young does not mean you have nothing valuable to contribute. At the same time, being experienced does not mean an older person is always right. The workplace needs both experience and fresh ideas.

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Your responsibility as a young employee is not to remain silent, but to learn how to speak in a way that demonstrates respect, professionalism and maturity.

When you identify a problem, avoid approaching your supervisor as though you have discovered a mistake they were too ignorant to notice. Instead, explain the issue respectfully and, where possible, present a practical solution.

That approach does not undermine authority. It demonstrates initiative.

And leaders should create room for young employees to contribute without making them feel that speaking up is an act of disrespect.

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Don’t keep quiet just because you are young. Learn, listen, respect authority and speak up when you have something meaningful to contribute.

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Obaa Yaa

I hold a Master’s degree, but I can’t find a job

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I hold a Master’s degree from the Pentecost University, yet I am struggling to find a job.

For years, I believed pursing my Master’s degree could find me a better job but today, I have still not found one.

  I have been applying for jobs almost every week. I have sent my curriculum vitae to different companies, attended interviews and even applied for positions that are not directly related to what I studied.

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But the response is almost always the same, we need someone with experienceHow am I supposed to get experience when nobody is willing to give me the first opportunity?

The most interesting thing is that some of my classmates are already employed, while others are travelling or in booming businesses. I don’t want to give up, but the constant rejection is becoming frustrating.

Obaa Yaa, what should a young graduate do when qualifications are not enough and experience is required before anyone gives you a chance?

Elorm, Ho.

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Dear Elorm

If you already have a Master’s degree and still unemployed, the focus should not be positioning yourself for other opportunities.

Stop sending same CV, each tailored to a specific type of job. Your CV should highlight what you can do, not only the degrees you have.

Don’t wait for the perfect job. Take internships, short term contracts, research projects or volunteer positions that can give experience and contact while you continue searching.

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Most importantly, don’t interpret unemployment to mean that your Master’s degree is useless. The problem may be the way your qualification is being presented, regarding the type of jobs you are targeting.

Also, you can start up something small as a side business to enable you get enough income.

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You can now read the Ghanaian Times and The Spectator newspapers from the comfort of your device via TimesNewsPlus.

Join our WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27

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