Obaa Yaa

l suspect she has secret lover

Published

4 years ago

November 20, 2021

Dear Obaa Yaa,
l am 28 years old trader and l have a lady who is 25 years old and also a petty trader. We have planned to stay without sex and use the period to study each other well before getting married.
We have planned not to visit each other in the night in order to avoid falling into the temptation of indulging in pre-marital sex. During this period, we occasionally buy nice gifts for each other and our birthdays are treated with special presents.
Since she comes to assist me in selling my goods, l have suggested that we occupy the same shop where l operate but she has objected to it for the reason that her customers will find it difficult to locate her.
My lady occasionally visits me on Sundays because that is the only day we do not sell in the market.
As the years pass by and desires keep mounting, l have asked her for sex but she has refused to give in to my request.
Judging from her actions and utterances these days, l am suspecting that she has a secret lover who she gives much attention to of late and, therefore, does not mind me these days.
l am planning to pick someone who will satisfy my sexual desires and probably marry me if the need be. Should l go ahead?
Matthew, Akim Oda.

Dear Matthew,
Marriage is a life-long process which is complex and goes beyond sex. Therefore, a partner who is capable of providing a fraction of this requirement would eventually become a failure.
Your decision not to visit each other in the night to prevent the two of you from indulging in pre-marital sex is commendable, since it takes ladies who are morally strong and prepared to withstand temptations while in friendship.
As the two of you have made a decision about your future, you should encourage each other to stick to your principles.
Suspicion is not good in a relationship, therefore, try to iron out petty issues with her and matters will be good.

Obaa Yaa

He introduced me wrongly

Published

5 days ago

April 11, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.

He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.

When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.

He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.

I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.

Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?

Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.

Dear Araba,

FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.

Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.

So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.

However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.

Obaa Yaa

My wife wants 2 more children

Published

5 days ago

April 11, 2026

WeeklySpectator

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.

Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.

Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.

As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.

I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.

My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.

Please advise me.

Amevi, Ho.

Dear Amevi,

THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.

There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.

You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.

If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.

If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.