Obaa Yaa
How do l rekindle this relationship?
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I have this long term relationship with a friend of mine. We attended the same Junior High School as well as the same church. This relationship was still intense even when we were admitted to different Senior High Schools.
We planned things together and settled on one thing. At church, you will see us walking together, which painted a family or sororal relationship in the minds of people.
After Senior High School, the two of us stayed at home for a year to better our grades to enable us to enter the tertiary institution.
Back at church, I went about doing things independently. During the second year after Senior High School, I got admitted to one of the famous tertiary institutions in Ghana. My friend was not able to sail through this time and had to attend another private school again to rewrite. This time round I was away from home.
During my semester break, I came home to discover that my friend had made friends with another lady in our church. I must admit that this attitude has affected me emotionally and has ruined our relationship to the extent that we no longer talk to each other.
Our parents and colleagues have raised concerns about the cold relationship between us and are anxious to see us moving together once again. This situation has ruined our relationship and l have developed a cold attitude towards her. Now, we are only limited to greetings.
I still ponder over our relationship in the past and find it difficult to forget about it. How do I rekindle this relationship?
Deborah Nkansah, Cape Coast,
Dear Deborah,
In life you must be guided by the fact that people are driven by different reasons to behave the way they do.
The sudden change of attitude of your friend devoid of quarrel could be due to her inability to enter the tertiary institution as you have been successful. She might have been suffering from inferiority complex, therefore, she has decided to free herself from your company.
Since you are desirous of resolving the issue, you can employ the best communication skills to establish fresh links with her.
MY daughter completed Senior High School this year and she had a very good grade.
With her grade, her father wants her to pursue Computer Science Engineering, but she had an interest in Civil Engineering.
Finally, admission forms are out and my daughter got Civil Engineering.
Her father doesn’t pay for her school fees because she did not choose the course he wanted her to offer.
Due to this, they don’t see eye to eye and it is causing tension at home.
Please, how do I reconcile father and daughter? I am so stressed with what’s going on between the two. Thank you.
Enyonam, Keta.
Dear Enyonam,
BOTH of them have legitimate feelings: the father may be worried about her future and wants to guide her, while your daughter wants to pursue a field she is genuinely interested in.
Do not try to settle the matter when either person is angry. The purpose should not be to decide who is right, but to find a solution that protects their relationship and your daughter’s future.
Ask your daughter to explain why she chose Civil Engineering.
She should explain what attracts her to the course, the subjects involved, the career opportunities and, importantly, why she believes she can succeed in it. If she has researched the universities and career paths, she should present that information to her father.
Talk to the father that financial support should not become a weapon.
It is understandable that a parent wants to have a say in a child’s education, especially when paying the fees. However, withdrawing educational support simply because his daughter chose a different legitimate course can damage their relationship. He can express his disagreement while still supporting her and allowing her to take responsibility for her choice.
Dear Araba,
THERE is this handsome gentleman in my area I am crushing on badly. He gave me a lift to the office a month ago and I mistakenly farted in the car.
When the incident happened in the car, he just stared at me but looked unbothered, which made me a bit comfortable.
Araba, Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
HONESTLY, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You are human, and human beings fart. The fact that he didn’t say anything or make you feel uncomfortable probably means he understood that it was an accidental, normal bodily function.
Ever since that incident happened, he has stopped calling or texting me. He doesn’t even give me a lift any longer.
Please, tell me, is it a crime to fart in your crush’s car?
What is keeping you embarrassed after months is not the fart itself but the meaning you have attached to it. You have replayed the incident so many times that it has become bigger in your mind than it probably ever was in his.
Just confront him that it was a mistake and, for that matter, we should let go of everything and move on.
