Obaa Yaa
How do l rekindle this relationship?
I have this long term relationship with a friend of mine. We attended the same Junior High School as well as the same church. This relationship was still intense even when we were admitted to different Senior High Schools.
We planned things together and settled on one thing. At church, you will see us walking together, which painted a family or sororal relationship in the minds of people.
After Senior High School, the two of us stayed at home for a year to better our grades to enable us to enter the tertiary institution.
Back at church, I went about doing things independently. During the second year after Senior High School, I got admitted to one of the famous tertiary institutions in Ghana. My friend was not able to sail through this time and had to attend another private school again to rewrite. This time round I was away from home.
During my semester break, I came home to discover that my friend had made friends with another lady in our church. I must admit that this attitude has affected me emotionally and has ruined our relationship to the extent that we no longer talk to each other.
Our parents and colleagues have raised concerns about the cold relationship between us and are anxious to see us moving together once again. This situation has ruined our relationship and l have developed a cold attitude towards her. Now, we are only limited to greetings.
I still ponder over our relationship in the past and find it difficult to forget about it. How do I rekindle this relationship?
Deborah Nkansah, Cape Coast,
Dear Deborah,
In life you must be guided by the fact that people are driven by different reasons to behave the way they do.
The sudden change of attitude of your friend devoid of quarrel could be due to her inability to enter the tertiary institution as you have been successful. She might have been suffering from inferiority complex, therefore, she has decided to free herself from your company.
Since you are desirous of resolving the issue, you can employ the best communication skills to establish fresh links with her.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
