Obaa Yaa
Though married, she is worrying me
Two years ago, l met a female driver whose car had a punctured tyre and at the same time her phone also went off for which reason she could not call the husband for assistance.
I had to take the tyre to be worked on, returned and fixed it for her after which she heaved a sigh of relief.
Filled with excitement that day, she picked me in her car and took me home to know where l lived.
That evening, l had a call from a man who introduced himself as the husband of the lady l had assisted earlier in the day.
The following morning, l was surprised to see the couple in my house with a big parcel for me. Though l objected and explained that l did not help the lady in anticipation of a gift but the man said that was the beginning of their kindness and added that l was always welcome to their house.
The following week, the lady invited me out for dinner and in the process told me that she loved me and was grateful that l had assisted her at the time she was in dire need.
Although l was tipsy after drinking enough alcohol, l failed to resist the temptation and continued to drink until l could not walk any longer.
Unfortunately, l woke up only to discover that l was lying in bed with this woman. This lady gives me money every day and has told me that she enjoyed making love with me and pleads that we should continue. But l am afraid of my actions and l have decided not to have an affair with her again. How can you help me out of this case? L need an urgent help.
Kwame, Accra
Dear Kwame,
You should not take pleasure in the money this married woman is showering on you and continue to indulge in illegitimate sex with her.
This act is abominable and you must resist every attempt by this woman to entice you to bed. You must be careful because this woman’s husband could contract people to kill you, if he gets to know what you are doing. A word to a wise is enough.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am in a relationship with a woman in her late 30s, while I am in my mid-40s. We have been together for the past five years.
My problem is that we work in the same firm and share the same office. For reasons best known to her, she left me for our Manager.
When I confronted her about her behaviour and pleaded with her to end whatever she had with him, she insisted that they were “just friends.”
I am confused and hurt. Does she have any positive plans for me at all? Also, is it normal for a woman to be overly free with any man who shows interest in her?
Finally, is it right for a woman to test a man’s love, as many ladies claim they do?
Kwesi, Tafo
Dear Kwesi,
This situation has the potential to hurt you deeply, especially if she returns only when the other option is no longer available. That kind of behaviour is troubling and emotionally unfair.
From what you describe, she crossed a line and should acknowledge her wrongdoing and apologise sincerely before you even consider moving forward. No one has the right to toy with another person’s feelings simply because they are unhappy or uncertain.
You need to sit her down and have a mature, honest conversation about the direction and seriousness of the relationship.
Most importantly, ask yourself this question: Is this the kind of woman you would want to marry and spend the rest of your life with?
Your answer should guide your next decision.
Greetings,
Obaa Yaa
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Dear Obaa Yaa,
We live on a compound with five flats, and I am struggling with the looks I get from my neighbours every morning. The way they stare at me feels so horrible.
My husband moans so loud during sex, and this happens almost every day. I always try to cover up but he always finds a way to keep making noise. He screams my name very loudly.
We have not yet completed our own house, and it will not be happening anytime soon. Please, how do I get him to stop all this excessive moans? I am so ashamed to move around the compound. The worst part is that my compound neighbours always see me when I am coming in or going out. Sometimes they avoid me and give me some looks, gossiping about me. Obaa Yaa, what should I do?
Adzo, Keta.
Dear Adzo,
What you are experiencing is quite embarrassing and emotionally painful.
Your feelings are completely valid. You are not doing anything wrong, immoral, or indecent.
The situation continues not because of your actions, but because your husband is ignoring your repeated pleas for privacy and dignity.
A loving and considerate spouse does not trivialise such distress. You need to have one final, calm but firm conversation with him outside the bedroom, making it clear that this behaviour of his is hurting you and must stop.
At the same time, set a clear boundary: if the noise continues, you will not feel comfortable being intimate with him when others can hear.
This is not punishment; it is self-protection. You can also reduce exposure temporarily by closing windows, adding background music, and choosing more private times.
Hold your head up and remember you have done nothing disgraceful. If your husband still refuses to change, seek marital counselling or a trusted mediator he respects. You deserve privacy, respect, and emotional safety in your marriage.
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