Relationship
Secrets to creating meaningful relationships (final)
Relationships could either be a blessing or a lesson.
Suppose it works out, great. You’ve finally found the one! But if it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world either. You can learn from it. Failed relationships often teach you lessons that you might never know otherwise. They teach you about your shortcomings and how things ought to be handled when emotions are involved. A passing relationship, or a longer one; there’s always something to gain from them.
A few real friends over many fake ones
You don’t need a lot of people in your life to make it seem fulfilling. A few good, deep connections are all you need—a few people who you can trust and be yourself around.
Learn the difference between love and lust
˜Lust is when you love only what you see. Love is when you lust what’s inside.’ If they desire you more than they desire being with you, it’s not going to last. It’s superficial and would burn out sooner than you think. Find something meaningful, something more than just skin deep.
Don’t fear being judged.
If you think you’re weird, don’t suppress it. Acknowledge and flaunt it. Who wants to blend in any way! Be yourself because you can’t please everyone. And no matter what you do, someone somewhere will always find fault in your tracks. So if you get to choose only one person you can please, that person should undoubtedly be you. If people can accept you for who you are, keep them. If they can’t, you were doing pretty well without them anyway.
Be a better person than you were yesterday.
Do you want to find good, genuine people? Become one, and you’d cross paths with similar people. Become the person you’d like to be around. You can’t change people, and you shouldn’t. You only have control over yourself, and you can choose to be whoever you want to be, choose wisely!
Don’t allow negativity to creep into your relationship
Put so much positivity into your relationship that there is no room for negativity. Love with all your heart. Be good, have good. Treat your partner with love, respect, and kindness, and you’ll never worry about anything going wrong.
Other people are a reflection of you.
If you’re critical of everyone else, you’re probably essential of yourself as well. But if you appreciate your strengths, you’ll find yourself looking for the same in other people. Choosing how you see yourself determines how you see other people.
Don’t try to change people.
You’re never comfortable around someone you can’t be yourself with; the same is true for other people. Stop suffocating them and don’t lead them into believing that they’re not good enough. Appreciate their qualities, and overlook their shortcomings. Love them for who they, indeed, are.
Let go of the pain
If you hold on to pain and hurt, you can’t move on and find what is truly meant for you. They’re the very things holding you back. Even if you’ve been hurt, you still can find the love you deserve. But unless you’re willing to give it a chance to see you, it never will.
People make mistakes
You aren’t perfect, and neither is any other person alive. Accept them the way they are, to be accepted. Forgive their mistakes, to be forgiven when you do something wrong. After all, the mistakes you make teach you the lessons you need to learn. Stop giving people a hard time, and learn to forgive them.
Source: www.dreamyhub.com
Parenting teens can be challenging. But it can also be a joy. The key is to know how to care for yourself, first and foremost. Before you have children, you might think that parenting will come naturally. And, to some degree, it does. But there are days (and sometimes months and years) when all parents could use some extra support.
Last week we looked at some four simple yet powerful approaches for parenting teens that build strong relationships for the long-run. Here are the remaining two:
4: Keep communication going
Because we are often busy and distracted, we do not always take the time to really focus on our kids when they’re trying to tell us something. Take advantage of the time you have together. Having dinner together as a family, using car time to talk, or chatting before bed are good ways to stay in daily touch with your teen. Prioritise quality time as well as quantity: Consider having breakfast out on the weekend as a special catch-up time to chat about the week. Or schedule monthly “family meetings” to discuss how things have been going and any conflicts that have arisen.
5. Be an empathetic listener
Listening with empathy and caring is one of the most important tips on parenting a teenager. Researchers have shown that people’s brain patterns synchronise when they listen closely to one another and watch each other’s expressions. As a result, the connection between them becomes stronger. Not feeling truly heard can lead to isolation and lack of self-esteem which are the root causes of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Therefore, take listening seriously. It’s not just a way of coping with teenagers; it has an enormous impact on their well-being.
SKIP THE QUEUE, TAP THE NEWS
You can now read the Ghanaian Times and The Spectator newspapers from the comfort of your device via TimesNewsPlus.
Join our WhatsApp Channel: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27
SHE did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number—not his—and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
In my therapy/counselling office in Accra, week after week, I sit with couples whose marriages are not broken by infidelity, but by invoices. If you ask me what is quietly killing Ghanaian marriages today, I will tell you without blinking: it is not that love has died; it is that money honesty never lived.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counselor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
Why do Ghanaian partners hide money?
From my clinical observation, it is not always wickedness. It is often woundedness.
1. The fear of losing power: Especially for men, money is seen as power. “If she knows how much I have, she will control me or disrespect me.” So he hides.
2. Family entanglement: “If my wife knows I give my mother GH¢1,500 every month, there will be trouble.” So he creates a second MoMo account. Many Ghanaian marriages have three accounts—his, hers, and the secret family one.
3. Past trauma: A woman who grew up in a home where her mother begged for chop money will never be honest about her savings. She is not greedy. She is scared. She is saving for her survival.
4. Debt shame: In Ghana today, with easy access to Qwikloan, Fido, and bank salary loans, many young men and women enter marriage already drowning in debt. They hide it because they feel, “If I tell him/her, they won’t marry me.”
So the hiding begins. And that is where the insurance lapses.
The 3 Devastating Prices You Pay For Financial Secrecy
Research from Kansas State University found that arguments about money are the number one predictor of divorce, more than arguments about children, in-laws, or sex. Why? Because money arguments are never about money. They are about trust, respect, and security.
Price 1: It destroys trust faster than infidelity.
When you discover your spouse has a secret child, you are hurt. When you discover your spouse has a secret debt that loan officers are now chasing YOU for, you feel betrayed and foolish. Clients tell me, “Counselor, I can forgive cheating, but I cannot forgive that he made me look like a fool at the bank.”
Price 2: It creates chronic anxiety in your home.
A home where money is a mystery is a home where no one sleeps well. The wife is always checking his phone not for other women, but for loan alerts. The husband is always anxious when his wife says, “Can we talk?” You cannot have intimacy where there is financial anxiety.
Price 3: It teaches your children to lie.
Children are watching. When daddy says, “Tell anyone who calls that I am not around because of money,” you are teaching your son that lying about money is normal. We are raising a generation of financially dishonest partners.
