Relationship
Ways to grow before entering into a new relationship
If you happen to be single and ready to mingle, you are bound to have so much romantic energy inside of you; and this is the kind of energy that is just longing to be released onto another person. There is so much love inside of you and you want to do whatever you can to find that one person with whom you can share that love. Yes. That’s normal. After all, there is no feeling that matches that of falling in love with someone. And truthfully, humans are already predisposed to channelling their love into something real and productive. We all need to be able to find an outlet for our love and passion. It’s part of what makes life worthwhile. However, we must also realise that we can’t rush love. We can’t force love to manifest itself in our lives whenever we want.
Be patient
You must always learn to be more accepting of what fate has planned for us. And as difficult as it might be, considering that you are feeling so restless at this point, you need to stay strong. You need to continue being patient. And perhaps, in the meantime, you can take the opportunity to just focus all of your energies on becoming a better person overall.
Be focused
When you are single, you are given the grand opportunity and freedom to grow as an individual outside of a relationship. You get the chance to really focus on yourself and your own strengths and weaknesses. You get the chance to really commit to building yourself up to be the person you’ve always envisioned yourself to be and you can do so selfishly without having to think about anyone else for the moment.
Be responsible
You need to be able to take responsibility for everything that took place in that relationship for you to grow from it. It’s not really about shaming yourself or finding something to make you feel bad about; far from it. This is about pointing out potential points of weakness and working on them until you’re no longer vulnerable in those aspects any longer. It’s about really owning up to every single aspect of who you are whether good or bad. It’s about owning up to what you did right and what you did wrong and learning from these things to ensure that you have a bright future ahead of you. One way that you can look at being critical of yourself in your failed relationships is by seeing it as a form of self-love and self-care. You are making sure that you are building up the parts of yourself that can be improved upon. It’s always great when you can spot out your vulnerabilities and insecurities and use these as starting points for your road to growth.
Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be a tricky task. With the constant access to our loved ones’ lives that social media provides, it’s important to establish clear boundaries to ensure a healthy and trusting relationship. Here are some tips to help couples manage social media use.
1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step in setting boundaries on social media is to talk openly and honestly with your partner about how you both feel regarding social media usage. These conversations can be challenging but are essential for maintaining understanding and trust.
2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be specific about the behaviour that bothers you and what you would like to change.
- Instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”
3. Be Considerate
Respect and understand your partner’s point of view. The goal is not to control each other, but to create a healthy balance that strengthens the relationship.
4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette involves setting clear guidelines for how you and your partner will interact online. This may include:
- Whether you will follow each other on social media.
- What kinds of photos or posts are acceptable.
- How to interact with friends, family, or others online.
Privacy is key in these discussions.
5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is one of the most critical aspects of social media boundaries:
- Do not snoop on your partner’s social media accounts.
- Avoid sharing personal information about them.
- Don’t post pictures or updates they may be uncomfortable with.
6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Social media often highlights only the “best moments” of relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to others online.
- Focus on your unique relationship and its successes.
- Remember that every relationship faces its own challenges and joys.
Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is crucial for a healthy, happy relationship. Key factors include:
- Open and honest communication.
- Respect for each other’s privacy.
- Avoiding comparisons using social media as a benchmark.
By prioritising these practices, couples can strengthen trust, intimacy, and emotional connection while navigating the digital world together.
Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre
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In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.
Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.
When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled who were struggling to connect after a recent move found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.
Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness
- Deeper Understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
- Increased Empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
- Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
- Authentic Connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.
Cultivating Vulnerability
So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:
- Start Small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. Gradually share more personal aspects of yourself as you become comfortable.
- Practice Active Listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
- Be Present: Focus on the present moment and let go of distractions. This will help you stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
- Show Appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.
In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, couples are better able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.
Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners.
As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.
To be continued…
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei
(Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor)
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Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC Counsellor Training Institute)
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