Relationship
Secrets to create meaningful relationships Know yourself to know others
When you learn to dig deep within yourself, you begin to learn about others more. The more you allow people to connect with you; you’d get to know them better in return. You’d know how to reach the very depth of people.
You alone are responsible for your feelings.
Don’t give people the power to control your mind or heart. You’re personal and perfectly capable of deciding how you feel about specific circumstances or people. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.
Be yourself, at all costs.
If someone doesn’t like you, it’s not your responsibility to change their opinion. You shouldn’t have to please anyone. Don’t change yourself to gain acceptance. Be proud of who you’re. You’re one of a kind. And if people can’t accept you for who you’re, you don’t need to keep them around.
Despite all the differences, people are essentially the same
Sure everyone you meet will be a little different from you, but what is life without a bit of colour. At the same time, you’d have at least a few things in common with the people you meet. Our similarities can link us and be the foundation of something unique.
No expectations, no disappointments
Not everyone has the same heart as yours. Not everyone is going to treat you the way you treat them. Don’t set any expectations from anyone; you might end up hurt. So spare yourself the pain, but be the best you can be. And let people surprise you. And if you meet someone who isn’t precisely lovely every once in a while, this habit of yours wouldn’t allow you to be affected much by them.
Listen to them attentively!
If someone’s sitting before you talking about something, listen to them intently, even if it doesn’t seem essential to you. It’s critical enough for them to speak to you about it, and you should respect that. Moreover, they’re talking to you about it because they expect you to listen and understand, don’t let them down. Even if the subject of the conversation doesn’t matter, the person talking matters, all the same; don’t be disrespectful.
Love yourself more, to be loved more
The more you love yourself, you’ll attract people who’d be capable of loving you with the same intensity. You’re showing people what you want and how you deserve to be treated. It works as a filter; only the people who’re willing to live up to those standards will dare reach out to you.
Don’t let the fear of getting hurt turn into the fear of falling in love
Please don’t play it safe; you’re never going to have a chance of finding what you’re looking for. Feelings are reciprocated. Love with all your heart, to be loved the same way. When it isn’t returned, it does hurt with the same intensity, but it teaches you how to cope with heartbreak all the same.
Love unconditionally
You are only responsible for what you do and how you feel. Love without any expectations of it being returned. You get back what you put out. Don’t be afraid of getting hurt.
Stop chasing people or things. What’s meant for you will find you
Focus on being the kind of person you’d want in your life. Don’t run after the things or people you think might be right for you. The right people and circumstances will find you when the time is right. Be the right person, and the right things will come to you.
To be continued.
Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be a tricky task. With the constant access to our loved ones’ lives that social media provides, it’s important to establish clear boundaries to ensure a healthy and trusting relationship. Here are some tips to help couples manage social media use.
1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step in setting boundaries on social media is to talk openly and honestly with your partner about how you both feel regarding social media usage. These conversations can be challenging but are essential for maintaining understanding and trust.
2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be specific about the behaviour that bothers you and what you would like to change.
- Instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”
3. Be Considerate
Respect and understand your partner’s point of view. The goal is not to control each other, but to create a healthy balance that strengthens the relationship.
4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette involves setting clear guidelines for how you and your partner will interact online. This may include:
- Whether you will follow each other on social media.
- What kinds of photos or posts are acceptable.
- How to interact with friends, family, or others online.
Privacy is key in these discussions.
5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is one of the most critical aspects of social media boundaries:
- Do not snoop on your partner’s social media accounts.
- Avoid sharing personal information about them.
- Don’t post pictures or updates they may be uncomfortable with.
6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Social media often highlights only the “best moments” of relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to others online.
- Focus on your unique relationship and its successes.
- Remember that every relationship faces its own challenges and joys.
Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is crucial for a healthy, happy relationship. Key factors include:
- Open and honest communication.
- Respect for each other’s privacy.
- Avoiding comparisons using social media as a benchmark.
By prioritising these practices, couples can strengthen trust, intimacy, and emotional connection while navigating the digital world together.
Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre
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In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.
Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.
When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled who were struggling to connect after a recent move found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.
Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness
- Deeper Understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
- Increased Empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
- Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
- Authentic Connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.
Cultivating Vulnerability
So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:
- Start Small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. Gradually share more personal aspects of yourself as you become comfortable.
- Practice Active Listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
- Be Present: Focus on the present moment and let go of distractions. This will help you stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
- Show Appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.
In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, couples are better able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.
Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners.
As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.
To be continued…
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei
(Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor)
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Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC Counsellor Training Institute)
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