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Secrets for lasting relationship

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It is believed that after seven years of a marriage, the happiness starts wavering. If you get through this, it’s most probably going to last. Seven years is a considerable amount of time. A lot can change during these times. You might have gone through a lot. You would’ve had numerous fall outs, major life style changes, differences with not only each other but the respective families as well and what not. There might have been good times as well as bad times. And to live through these, you could hopefully benefit from the following things:

See the humour in things

Everybody appreciates a good sense of humour. Don’t ever let anything get too serious. Learn to laugh at yourself. Try keeping things on the lighter side. You can always save a situation with a good laugh. However, be careful with your timing or you might end up worsening things.

Discover how you express love

This is different for everyone as well. We all have our own way of professing our love. Since it’s different for everyone, people often remain in doubt as to whether their partner feels the same way or not. You need to recognise and learn their patterns. Once you do so, you’ll see that even though your ways are different, the love is present.

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Don’t suffocate each other

You can be in a relationship and be yourselves at the same time. And for that, you both need time for yourselves. You don’t need to be together all the time or do everything together. Respect and acknowledge your partner’s need to spend time apart. When you have time to do the things you want and to take care of yourself, you can actually be more giving and focused in the time you spend with them.

Talk about everything!

When you’re sharing your life with someone, you need to share taking decisions that would impact you both. It’s better to have everything out in the open rather than putting it off to a point where you have no choice but to deal with it. You both deserve to know how you feel regarding a certain subject and how you should progress with it. Talk about everything from what your room should look like to your finances, setting boundaries for families and friends, having children and so on.

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Work for what you want

If you want your relationship to last, it’s up to you to make sure it does. You only get what you work for. Relationships require quite a few things to last. Love unconditionally. Earn each other’s trust. Accept them with all their imperfections. All of these things require compromise. And sometimes you need to make difficult choices as well as sacrifices. But if you feel that your relationship is worth it, you’ll find it in yourself to work for it.

Focus on becoming the kind of person you’d want to be with

Rather than looking for the things you want in another person, maybe the better thing to do is to adopt those things and become a better version of yourself. You will no longer need someone to fill some sort of void. When you feel content on your own, you’ll be able to love them without developing any dependency on them. Because at the end of the day, you would be enough for yourself.

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Remember the good times

It’s nice to relive the times you fell for them, or you laughed yourself to tears or the first date and many such memories. They always manage to put a smile on your face. They could smooth things out when you’re going through tough times. They serve as reminders as to what you’re striving for and what more you could have. You’re encouraged to add to this list every time you think of it.

Love and place yourself first, even before them and everyone else follows. Be comfortable with who you are and accept them as they are. Don’t make things more difficult than they have to be. There’s a solution to everything; keep that in mind when faced with any problem. Work together to make your relationship last.

Source: www.gistping.com

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Relationship

…Tips on building a healthy relationship with your superior

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A good relationship with your boss is critical for job success and career development. Supervisors have a great influence on your stress level, your team and company culture, and ultimately, whether you succeed or fail in a role.

They are also your best resource for support, problem-solving, and personal development. Building a strong relationship with them can be transformative for your work experience and professional growth, but navigating this connection can be complex.

Here are the remainder of some key values and characteristics that will help you along the way.

Be an excellent communicator

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Establishing clear communication with a manager is absolutely critical to learning to work together. Everyone has preferred methods, styles, and frequency of communication, and it will benefit you to learn your boss’s preferences. Some people want minimal, direct communication, while others prefer detailed and frequent updates about projects. By catering to your supervisor’s unique communication style, you demonstrate thoughtful awareness and respect.

Additionally, be sure to clearly communicate difficulties before they pile up. Avoid unwanted surprises by giving your boss a heads-up about mistakes and confusion. Challenges and errors are a natural part of working on any team, so don’t feel the need to hide from that reality. Good communication around negative experiences will go a long way toward building trust.

Ask for advice and feedback

Your boss is your best resource. Be sure to understand what issues are worth getting their input on, to avoid running to them with every pain point every day. Asking for their opinion shows you value their expertise and goes a long way to developing a cooperative approach to strategy, process, and decision-making.

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Asking for feedback is equally valuable. Many people are intimidated to ask for feedback, but also frustrated by a lack of attention and acknowledgment. Requesting feedback shows initiative and an interest in improving your performance.

Lastly, consider asking for coaching or mentorship. Managers are in a prime position to support your career development and are often enthusiastic about contributing in this way.

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Silent wounds in marriage: 7 red flags of a narcissistic wife you should not ignore

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Wife monitoring husbands phone

Marriage is meant to be a sanctuary — a place where two people feel safe, seen, and supported. But what happens when the person who promised “forever” slowly becomes the source of your deepest emotional wounds?

As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional in Accra, I sit with men who whisper, “I feel invisible in my own home,” or “I’m constantly blamed for things I didn’t do.” Often, these men are not describing a “difficult wife.” They are describing years of living with narcissistic patterns — patterns that don’t bruise the skin, but shatter the soul.

Let me be clear: Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Confidence is healthy. Pride is human. But narcissistic personality traits become destructive when they are consistent, rigid, and designed to control, manipulate, or diminish the other partner. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that emotional abuse from narcissistic partners can cause anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even trauma symptoms similar to PTSD.

This article is not about demonising women. It is about naming pain so healing can begin. If you see yourself in these 7 red flags, know this: You are not weak, you are not crazy, and you are not alone.

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