Relationship
Ways to deal with a controlling partner Pt 2
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Don’t strive for their approval.
Remind yourself that you are a mature, capable human who doesn’t need constant approval and validation—giving up wearing blue because it’s not your partner’s favourite, trying to like sushi because your partner would want you to, etc. Don’t seek approval for every little thing you do; don’t play the victim. Have your own choices and do what makes you happy, don’t try to mould yourself into someone your controlling partner wants you to be.
Have a life outside of your relationship
The relationship is a part of your life; don’t make it the centre of your existence. A right way of dealing with a controlling partner is to have something going outside the relationship, hang out with friends, have a hobby and enjoy your own company. This will add positivity to your life, and you will be more self-aware, enabling you to take a stand for yourself; it will add perspective and strength to your personality, and you’ll have more confidence in dealing with your partner.
Don’t be dependent on your partner.
A little financial independence is essential, being utterly dependent on your partner gives them an upper hand, and they might think it’s their right to make all decisions for you and make you live according to their liking. This will boost your confidence and self-worth, and if your partner knows that you are in a relationship with them by choice and not because of your needs, they won’t take you for granted and will try to mend their ways.
Love yourself
This is the best way to deflect control, know your worth. None of us is perfect; learn to love your imperfections, don’t feel guilty about them. Practise confidence-boosting exercises, like talking to yourself in the mirror, etc. Love yourself for your individuality. Don’t get intimidated by other people even if you are madly in love with them. When you love yourself, you’ll know what you should be accepting, what you truly deserve. Don’t lose yourself trying to love someone else.
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1. Talk early and often
It is never too early to start talking with and listening to your children about the first day of school. Ask them what they think school will be like and see if they have any specific concerns so that you will have time to address it over the next couple of weeks. It is totally normal to have first day jitters.
2. Go to the orientation
If your child’s school is hosting an orientation or back-to-school night, take advantage of it. Often children are worried that they will not know how to get to the bathroom, where to eat lunch, or how to get to a locker. If your school does not offer one or you are unable to make it, ask the teacher if it would be possible to stop by for a visit. Teachers are usually in their classrooms prepping for the new school year in advance.
3. Meet the teacher
For kids, wondering if they will like their teacher is a big source of fear. If your child isn’t comfortable in the teacher’s classroom, he or she will be less likely to be ready to learn. Many teachers will make themselves available for a phone or video call or will return an email if a visit is not possible.
4. For younger children, read books or watch educational cartoons
In August, local libraries will often display books about starting school or going to a new school. These materials can help children read about and see what a typical day will consist of and what they will learn in school.
5. Take your kids shopping with you
Your kids will be more excited to use their back-to-school supplies if they picked them out. Doing so will help them feel prepared and will also provide an opportunity to talk about how the new supplies might be used in the coming year.
6. Set up school “zones” and establish clear expectations
At home, establish a location for school materials such as a place to put backpack and lunchbox, and set up a distraction-free homework zone (like the kitchen table with the TV turned off and phones/tablets put away). Set up homework and study times (for example, Monday–Thursday from 3:30–5 pm) to help manage expectations and build and maintain good routines.
7. Practice your new routine
Both children and adults can benefit from practicing the new school routine one to two weeks before school actually starts. Stage a morning dry run to see how long it takes you and your children to get out of the door in the morning. It will not only help you predict how early you and your kids need to get up, but your children will benefit from learning what to expect each weekday.
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Having a good relationship with your child’s teacher will make it easier for you to share concerns and work together to help your child thrive. Here are some tips for building a partnership. Here are some tips to help parents build a good relationship with their child’s teacher.
1. Meet with the teacher and staff early
Teachers are usually swamped at the start of the school year. But try to meet as soon as the teacher can. At your first meeting, find out how the teacher prefers to communicate it can be either by phone, email, or some other method.
2. Help the teacher get to know your child.
Sharing information is key to a good parent-teacher relationship. Tell the teacher about your child’s interests, strengths, and challenges. If your child has an special need, make the teacher a aware, and let the him or her know about situations outside of school that might impact your child’s learning or behaviour.
3. Be respectful of the teacher’s time.
Be on time for appointments, whether they are phone calls, video meetings, or parent-teacher conferences. Try to wrap things up within the allotted time. The teacher may have other parents scheduled after you or other meetings and commitments. You can always set up another call to finish up.
4. Recognise the teacher’s efforts.
If you are meeting in the classroom, look for displays of students’ work or teaching materials that you can compliment. If you are somewhere else, start things off with a positive statement, like something your child enjoys about the teacher’s class.
5. Never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child.
Showing your respect for a teacher will set a good example for your child.
6. Participate in school events.
Take part in school events when possible. This shows that you’re part of the school community and want to be supportive. Offer to volunteer in a way that works for you, whether it’s at school or at home on your own time.
7. Say “thank you.”
Show your appreciation for the big or little things the teacher and other staff do for your child. Thank-you notes and emails can go a long way toward building positive relationships.
