Obaa Yaa
My husband is lovely and caring
I had married for five years with two children and this gave me the false impression that things would sail smoothly into the future with my family.
Unfortunately, things turned upside down after l was delivered of my second child. As a nursing mother, l tried to calm the raging tension with the hope that things were going to change by playing a role for peace to prevail in the house.
But l had the shock of my life when my husband asked me to pack my belongings and leave the house with the two children who he claimed were not his.
Despite the intervention of my parents, my husband did not change his decision and l became traumatised.
With my meagre salary, l had to cater for my children, their education as well as my aged parents.
One day, the items l bought from the market poured on the ground and a gentleman who was standing by quickly assisted me to pick them. He bought a stronger polythene bag for me to carry my things.
Since then we became good friends and there was not a single day that he would not ask of me. He later requested to visit my parents after which he proposed to marry me.
One day, he decided to visit my parents after which he proposed to marry me. Though l have two children for which l thought my marriage to him would not be possible, he assured me that l should not worry because my children were his as well.
Since our marriage, he loves me and my children as though he is their biological father and this has made me to love him more and l now forgotten of my problems in my previous marriage.
I am surprised at the display of love from my new husband and l will continue to love him all the days of my life.
Cynthia, Tema.
Dear Cynthia,
Your case reminds me of the verse in the Bible which encourages us to be grateful to God no matter the circumstance. Count yourself very blessed for coming across such a lovely husband who has transferred the love he has for you to your children.
Having received this measure of love from your present husband, educate your children to reciprocate their love and respect for him. This is the only means they can sustain his love for your family.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I took off my wedding rings but could not find it again. I was washing when I took them off and placed them on a wall close to me. Honestly, after washing I forgot to pick them up until the evening, when my husband asked where my ring were, I quickly dashed out of the room to check where I had placed them, but they were not there. My husband made it clear that I was cheating that was why I could take my rings off and lose them.
I was packing to leave the house when the bags fell and I heard a tinkling sound of metals instead of plastic. I looked around the floor, and my rings were lying there.
Who took the rings and kept them there and why would the person do that to me just to shake the foundation of my marriage?
Oye, Tabora.
Dear Oye,
Your husband’s reaction was abusive, not just angry. Accusing you of cheating was just mean.
Rings don’t prove fidelity, trust does. Your response was fair: taking rings off to wash is normal, and cheating has nothing to do with it.
The fact that the rings ‘mysteriously’ ended up in your bags suggests someone moved them deliberately to cause conflict. A partner who jumps to punishment instead of problem-solving will do it again when the next misunderstanding happens.
If indeed your husband threatened and pushed you out, kindly talk to someone you trust in the family or a counsellor before moving back in. If you choose to stay, your husband needs to apologise and let peace to reign.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My life started falling apart the very day I got married. I started experiencing a series of unfortunate events, which nearly broke me.
In the first year into our marriage, I lost a very lucrative job when my wife was pregnant.
I was scheduled for an interview at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital.
Immediately I got down from a taxi, out of nowhere, a motorbike at full speed knocked me down. I broke my leg and was admitted to the hospital for three months.
I lost the opportunity for the breakthrough. Since then, things have become difficult for my family. Is my problem spiritual or what?
Mawuli, Keta.
Dear Mawuli,
Stop linking your hardships to your wedding. Job loss, accidents, and unemployment are painful situations but that doesn’t mean your marriage is cursed.
In life, there are misfortunes and I urge you to continue to pray hard and wait upon the lord.
Focus on what you can control right now: your health, your finances, and your mental health.
Focus on your leg, take any work to build momentum, and consider therapy to break the “everything is a spiritual attack” cycle. Talk honestly with your wife; you two are a team, not the problem.
