Obaa Yaa
Married woman is pestering me
I am in my mid-twenties and had just started my national service. I am single and do not have any intentions of starting a serious relationship at the moment. But I am worried as a woman who has two children continues to pester me into having an affair with her. I have told her I am not interested but she says I am “playing with her feelings.” She has started blackmailing me emotionally and it is becoming too much for me to handle. Please advise me.
Francis, Taifa
Dear Francis,
You have made the right decision to turn down her advances. Indeed, you are too young to start such relationship. Continue to shun her company and block any form of communication you have with her. She is supposed to be enjoying her marriage not to extend her untamed pleasures to you. Do not allow her to blackmail you emotionally. If you reside in the same vicinity but try and move to a location unknown to her and blacklist her contact numbers.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We are a family of three—my dad, mom, and myself, being the only daughter of my parents.
My dad provided everything we needed; he was a very fun-loving man and the backbone of our family. He was always ready to give us jokes and anecdotes before going to bed, making our lives full of laughter and love.
One morning, I woke up to an eerie silence. I called out for my dad, but there was no response. We were all shocked, confused, and grief-stricken because daddy was our backbone—our emotional and financial support, the one who made us smile no matter the storms we were facing. We kept asking, what did he do wrong?
Lady Tina, Akosombo
Advice
Dear Tina,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a loved one, especially in a tragic and unexpected manner, is incredibly painful.
Here are some steps you can take to cope and move forward:
- Seek justice and support: If your dad’s death involved wrongdoing, cooperate fully with the authorities as they work to identify the perpetrator.
- Lean on your support network: Reach out to trusted family friends, relatives, or a therapist for emotional support during this difficult time.
- Care for yourselves: It is very important to take care of both your mom’s and your physical and emotional well-being. Grieving is a process, and everyone copes differently.
- Be gentle with yourself: Allow yourself time to grieve and heal. Do not hesitate to seek help whenever needed.
Remember, Tina, it’s okay to lean on others and take things one day at a time.
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Dear Counselor,
I have decided to put this into writing to seek your advice and counsel. I am a 21-year-old girl who completed Senior High School (SHS) three years ago and am currently at home.
During my Basic School and SHS days, I had two mutual friends I always moved along with. We stayed in the same apartment, went to the same schools from basic level to senior high school. We literally did everything together, and our friendship was so strong that everyone thought we were sisters.
We all gained admission into the University, but I could not join them because things were bad financially for my parents. They could not afford my fees to register my courses, so I had no other option than to stay home.
As a result of my situation, my friends no longer relate to me as they did earlier. They take decisions without me, make me feel inferior, and leave me out. Their behaviour, gestures, and negative body language say it all. I was completely broken when they told me I no longer fit into their circle of friendship.
Jessica, Lashibi
Advice
Dear Jessica,
It is really sad that your friends are behaving this way toward you. Here are some steps you can consider:
- Seek clarification: Approach them calmly and ask why they have been acting this way. You cannot live by assumptions alone.
- Value yourself: Even though some friendships do not last forever, being emotionally drained is not the best option. Your 10 years of memories are precious, but you also deserve respect.
- Move on if needed: If your friends continue to make you feel inferior, take a bold step and move forward without them. True friends respect and uplift each other.
- Focus on your future:
- Plan your life and look for menial jobs to cover expenses.
- Save money to further your education.
- Try online courses to prepare ahead of time.
- Apply for scholarship programs to support your studies.
Remember, Jessica, your worth is not determined by others’ approval. Surround yourself with people who respect, encourage, and celebrate your growth.
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