Obaa Yaa
Financial requests are overwhelming
I am a lady in my late thirties. My biological parents are alive and kicking but none of them seems to care about whatever happens in my life. I do not live with them at the moment as I have managed to secure a job and now live at my own residence in another town.
They do not seem concerned about my wellbeing. All they do is ask for money anytime they call me on phone. Although they both played their roles in the early stages of my growth, I managed to further my education to the tertiary level without any financial support from them. In the past months, I have had different forms of financial request from my mother and father, some of which included the request on me to transfer money for them to complete
their building project, request to support a funeral at my hometown, among other monetary demands.
Since I became an adult, I have never had any form of advice from them on how to live the rest of my life. The financial requests seem to be their main focus and I am beginning to wonder whether I was born purposely for a ‘philanthropic mission’ in my family, especially towards my mother and father. Please advise me on this issue.
Mavis, Adukrom
Dear Mavis,
You sound overwhelmed by the financial commitments you make to your parents and that is understandable especially when your income may not be sufficient to meet all their needs. It is not a bad idea to support your parents as there is blessing in reaching out to them.
However, you should as much as possible respond to the requests that are within your means so you do not feel overburdened. Do communicate your challenges to them in a respectful manner so they understand that you may not be able to meet all their demands.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
