Obaa Yaa
Financial requests are overwhelming
I am a lady in my late thirties. My biological parents are alive and kicking but none of them seems to care about whatever happens in my life. I do not live with them at the moment as I have managed to secure a job and now live at my own residence in another town.
They do not seem concerned about my wellbeing. All they do is ask for money anytime they call me on phone. Although they both played their roles in the early stages of my growth, I managed to further my education to the tertiary level without any financial support from them. In the past months, I have had different forms of financial request from my mother and father, some of which included the request on me to transfer money for them to complete
their building project, request to support a funeral at my hometown, among other monetary demands.
Since I became an adult, I have never had any form of advice from them on how to live the rest of my life. The financial requests seem to be their main focus and I am beginning to wonder whether I was born purposely for a ‘philanthropic mission’ in my family, especially towards my mother and father. Please advise me on this issue.
Mavis, Adukrom
Dear Mavis,
You sound overwhelmed by the financial commitments you make to your parents and that is understandable especially when your income may not be sufficient to meet all their needs. It is not a bad idea to support your parents as there is blessing in reaching out to them.
However, you should as much as possible respond to the requests that are within your means so you do not feel overburdened. Do communicate your challenges to them in a respectful manner so they understand that you may not be able to meet all their demands.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my boyfriend at his office only to meet him and a young lady having a serious chat.
He politely introduced the lady to me as his workmate and also introduced me as a friend without telling the lady that I am his lover.
When he came home and I went over to spend the night, he seemed not to find any fault with what he did.
He was rather giving attitude and pretending as if I don’t even exist in his life.
I then told him I was not happy that he did not give me the proper acknowledgment as his lover.
Do you think he has something up his sleeve and did not want the lady he called workmate to know that we are lovers?
Greetings,
Araba, Mamobi.
Dear Araba,
FOR very good reasons, certain individuals would not want to publicise their love affairs. They believe love is a private matter and not for public consumption, and would prefer to run their relationships quietly.
Others also think that once they are not married and have not found the right person, there is no need introducing anyone until they are fully committed and envision a lifetime relationship.
So you cannot immediately judge the motive of your boyfriend for not introducing you appropriately, although it is also possible that he could have feelings for the other lady.
However, do not get worked up. Stay calm, and with time, the truth will become clear.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I HAVE been married for five years with three children. They are two boys and a girl.
Due to the economic situation prevailing in the country, I advised my wife to stop making babies. This is to enable us to cater for them and give them the best of education.
Unfortunately, my wife is not in agreement with the proposal but is bent on having two more children before she ends it.
As a result, she has stopped taking the family planning precautions and wants us to have unprotected sex.
I am contemplating going in for vasectomy which will make me unable to produce children but all the same enjoy our sex life.
My fear is that if my wife discovers that she is not getting pregnant, she may be tempted to cheat on me.
Please advise me.
Amevi, Ho.
Dear Amevi,
THE Bible says the two shall be one. In my opinion, one person cannot decide on the number of children to have.
There must be a mutual understanding between the two of you. You must be more communicative to agree on what will suit both of you.
You must be able to convince your wife that the economic situation is not favourable for more children. And you must make her know that until your (both of you) financial circumstances improve, more children will be a burden on the family.
If she insists on more children, then she must justify it with an increase in her income and her willingness to take up the extra burden.
If she cannot justify it, then you can go for your vasectomy and let her know. That way, I think she cannot cheat on you and bring you a pregnancy that belongs to another person.
