Obaa Yaa
I am not ready for third abortion
We are in a relationship close to seven years and l have had two abortions. On the first occasion, it was normal since l did not feel pains after the act.
Unfortunately, the second abortion nearly ended my life and l am forever grateful to God for having spared my life.
A cousin of mine is aware of the relationship and always pleads with me to compel my lover to know my parents and if possible inform them about our plans to get married in a short period.
Unfortunately, l am once again pregnant and my boyfriend is insisting that l abort the pregnancy because he is not financially capable of fathering a child and shouldering more responsibilities.
Terrified by the ordeal l went through as a result of the second abortion, l had vowed never to terminate any pregnancy in my life.
I am the only daughter of my parents and l cannot imagine how miserable they will be if l die through a preventable and misguided act like this.
Surprisingly, he has threatened not to accept responsibility should l go ahead to maintain the pregnancy.
Should l remain resolute in my decision?
Yaa Baby-Accra.
Dear Yaa Baby,
You have done well by taking a definite decision to correct the unpleasant ordeal you have had and the need to repair your future.
Though it is unacceptable to receive threat from your lover, you are not the first person to receive such a threat and certainly not going to be the last one either.
This is an opportune time for you to inform your parents, and they will not hesitate to pull your lover by his ears to face the consequences of his action. Since he has called for the tune, he must be ready to dance to it.
You will not have it easy with your parents, but the fact remains that one cannot tell what this innocent child will become in the future. Yaa Baby, you will be exceedingly dumbfounded if this child turns out to become an influential person in society.
Stick to your decision because should you survive this abortion like the previous ones, you cannot guarantee the possibility of becoming pregnant in life again.
Obaa Yaa
Let’s protect the girl child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a mother whose children are all girls. I am having sleepless nights over cases of little girls being defiled lately.
I wished to give birth to boys because my parents gave birth to only girls.
I am getting worried with the way the girl child is taken advantage of by unscrupulous men and it appears these men are going unpunished.
What can I do to protect my children? We must begin to see actions geared at saving the girl child.
Araba,
Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
YOU must begin to have very frank talk with your little girls. Tell them about sex, and tell them it is wrong for little girls to engage in it.
Tell them that it is wrong for anyone, most especially strangers, to touch or fondle their private parts and should not hesitate to report such cases.
With the children who are too young to speak properly (below three years), make it a point to bath them yourself either in the morning or evening and observe their private parts to make sure are well.
Do not leave them in the company of boys or men for long periods without checking on them.
Obaa Yaa
My mum wants me to end my relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 26 year old driver, and she is 24 and an apprentice seamstress. We have known each other for three years.
I was having launch when my girl entered with another man but she didn’t see me.
When I asked who the man was, she said he was from her hometown and was invited by him for a drink. I just slapped her and she left.
Obaa, I had seen this man with my girlfriend another night and when I questioned them, he tried to fight.
I slapped him and he went to the police station to report that someone had assaulted him and stolen his necklace, watch and an amount of money.
The matter got to my mother and I was asked to pay Gh¢8,000 for assault.
My mother says, I should break up with the girl but I love her and can’t do that. What should I do?
Efe, Mallam.
*****
Dear Isaac,
Your girlfriend needs to be talked to instead of slaps. Let her understand that you felt threatened by the man who is not a mutual friend to the two of you.
You must explain to her that even though this man is from her town, she should have introduced him to you and also make an effort not to be with him at places and times that arouse suspicion.
This would be the first part of saving your relationship. The second part is that you need to control your temper as violence would always land you in trouble.
Finally you need to reassure your mother that you would never act the way you did again.
