Obaa Yaa
I am not ready for third abortion
We are in a relationship close to seven years and l have had two abortions. On the first occasion, it was normal since l did not feel pains after the act.
Unfortunately, the second abortion nearly ended my life and l am forever grateful to God for having spared my life.
A cousin of mine is aware of the relationship and always pleads with me to compel my lover to know my parents and if possible inform them about our plans to get married in a short period.
Unfortunately, l am once again pregnant and my boyfriend is insisting that l abort the pregnancy because he is not financially capable of fathering a child and shouldering more responsibilities.
Terrified by the ordeal l went through as a result of the second abortion, l had vowed never to terminate any pregnancy in my life.
I am the only daughter of my parents and l cannot imagine how miserable they will be if l die through a preventable and misguided act like this.
Surprisingly, he has threatened not to accept responsibility should l go ahead to maintain the pregnancy.
Should l remain resolute in my decision?
Yaa Baby-Accra.
Dear Yaa Baby,
You have done well by taking a definite decision to correct the unpleasant ordeal you have had and the need to repair your future.
Though it is unacceptable to receive threat from your lover, you are not the first person to receive such a threat and certainly not going to be the last one either.
This is an opportune time for you to inform your parents, and they will not hesitate to pull your lover by his ears to face the consequences of his action. Since he has called for the tune, he must be ready to dance to it.
You will not have it easy with your parents, but the fact remains that one cannot tell what this innocent child will become in the future. Yaa Baby, you will be exceedingly dumbfounded if this child turns out to become an influential person in society.
Stick to your decision because should you survive this abortion like the previous ones, you cannot guarantee the possibility of becoming pregnant in life again.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I wrote sometime back in 2024 to discuss an ordeal I went through. I contracted a sexually transmitted disease (STD) when I was doing my national service. Initially, I thought it was a normal sickness, so I visited a nearby hospital for treatment. I still feel itching and pains in my manhood.
I began to worry about the whole situation. I wrote to you and you directed me to see a specialist. The doctor did what he could, but the disease still persists. I have also gone through a lab test which shows that there is nothing wrong with me. A few doctors and pharmacists I contacted claim it could be psychological.
There is a sore at the tip of my male organ, and I am disturbed. Not only do I find it difficult to urinate, but it gives me continual sharp waste pain. Currently, I’m not only going through serious physical pains but psychological, because I cannot concentrate on my job for five minutes. I have also been praying and fasting. Can this be spiritual?
Mawuli, Keta
Dear Mawuli,
I hope you are doing well. I will advise you to take your medication regularly. There is still hope for your situation. See a urologist at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital for assistance.
I cannot say if your condition is spiritual or not. However, do not stop praying to God. Your miracle may just be on the way.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I’m a lady in my late 30s who wants to give love a second chance, despite all the pain and scars love has caused me.
Tony was just a new staff my company recruited to work in my department. We became friends, and our friendship became stronger when we realised we were both of the same tribe. We fell madly in love, and dating each other was the best option. I got pregnant and less than a month later, we did our traditional wedding and later signed in court.
I found out that my husband, Tony, had a wife and a child in the United Kingdom (UK) when I was eight months pregnant and five months married. What should I do?
Patricia, North Kaneshie
My dear Patricia,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about your pain. It sounds like you’ve been through a really tough experience with Tony.
First, let’s acknowledge your strength and resilience. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re still standing. That says a lot about your character.
It sounds like Tony presented himself as a good man, and you believed him. You connected well and he seemed to have good family values, but it turns out he was hiding a big secret.
My advice to you is to take time to process your emotions. It’s okay to feel angry, hurt, and confused, but allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship and the future you thought you had.
You might want to consider seeking support from loved ones, a therapist, or a support group. Talking through your feelings can really help.
In terms of the next steps, you may consider getting legal advice to understand your rights and options. As a pregnant woman, you have certain rights, and it’s essential to prioritise your well-being and the baby’s well-being.
