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Are Ghanaians romantic?
THE question has often been asked whether Ghanaians are romantic or not? The question has never been properly put, because the average Ghanaian might be a romantic legend outdoors but a total disaster indoors.
It means he can function romantically when people are looking, but under the cover of darkness and behind closed doors, he can only stumble and fall.
Indeed, in public, some people do express and even choreograph their love and affection for their partners. Immediately they get indoors, they are a changed personality. They start frowning because they cannot put up any good show.
The reverse is also true. So, the question should be properly asked with all the parameters of disaster carefully identified. And are Ghanaian men more romantic than the women?
From observation, one can identify culture as one of the limiting factors that have suppressed female romanticism. For example, when a female proposes love or even hints that she loves a man, the first impression people get is that she must be a ‘spoilt’ person.
Lesson
So, a girl in love will never allow her boyfriend to hold her hand in public. Never! And if he is foolhardy enough to kiss her, she’ll either scream to the high heavens, or simply slap him on the face to teach him a crude lesson.
You’ll think such a girl is the reincarnation of the Virgin Mary, the personification of what is pure, prim, unadulterated and adorable. It is only when you manage to get her behind closed doors that you are likely to see the real stuff she is made of.
She’d teach you the rudiments of love and romantic tit-bits you never dreamt about. She’d show you what to do and what not to do, and how to do what you should do. In the end, you’d never be the same. Check it out!
When it comes to female romanticism, there are many factors coming into play. Some Ghanaian ladies are not suited for romance because they see the world in terms of making a living rather than pandering to the pleasures of life. So, to them, to be romantic is a bother. It is a job too difficult to undertake.
They cannot even smile, let alone laugh. They see a smile as a frivolity, a laugh as the beginning of madness. What they keep thinking about is how to work for money.
Back-hand
To such persons, any suggestion of love or romance can get them poised to deliver a back-hand blow if it really comes to it. And if they ever make the mistake of getting married, the man is certain to die young. How can he cope with such a character?
When it comes to Ghanaian men, it can be worse. The problem is that the average Ghanaian man cannot give any quantitative or qualitative meaning to romance. He sees love either as a ‘head-ache’ because partners won’t stop demanding money, or as ‘sex’ because beyond it there is nothing else.
So, he enters into a relationship with a certain mindset, that is to give his lover money and demand sex in exchange. So where does romance come in? If by chance he decides to be a trifle bit romantic and gets his lover a birthday card, he is likely to get a rebuff if not a snob. “Ibi card I go chop?” the lady would ask him.
The typical Ghanaian lady wants cash and you are giving her a card. She would wonder whether you are off! Mental!
So, the men are either not encouraged by their mates to be romantic, or they themselves are not romantic by nature. They can’t see how they can buy a bar of chocolate as a surprise for their darlings.
It isn’t that they can’t afford it. They just don’t think it makes any sense. They might as well learn from Indians. Indians know exactly how to consummate a love relationship by incorporating music and dance, poetry and lyrical effort into the exercise.
All these are portrayed in their films. A boy and girl in love in India, need space and time to express that love. They can even refuse food for three days and remain on a mountain range singing and dancing for love.
The premium on romantic love is high. No wonder they have a relatively lower divorce rate. Which man in Ghana will forgo his fufu or banku for three days and go singing to a girl who is likely to break his heart in a fortnight?
Simulation
In any case, some Ghanaian men have learnt over time to be romantic, for the sake of it, and not because they think it matters. They read books and watch films and simulate from them.
Others travel and come back quite different. They even walk romantically if they happen to fall in love. That is what they’ve learnt in the cold. Certainly, it makes sense to be romantic in cold weather than in the hot African sun.
This article was first published on Saturday March 25, 2006
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THE typical itinerant salesman in Sikaman is a herbalist. He is normally a slim macho with the capacity to perambulate the expanse of area covering the triangle of Accra-Tema-Ashiaman. In short, he can walk a total of 60 miles a day, marketing a product that cures every disease, including poverty. 
The door-to-door herbal pharmacist advertises his product by word of mouth. He has nothing to do with the Food and Drugs Board (FDB). After all, his concoctions do not feature on FM stations.
Those herbalists who cannot walk to propagate the herbal gospel, liaise with drivers of mass transportation and their mates. They are, therefore, given the chance to sell their products on Benz buses that ply the routes.
Normally, the herbalist starts his sales message with a prayer and Bible study. He asks the passengers to bow down their heads in supplication to God the father, the son, the Holy Spirit.
When a herbalist asks the passengers to close their eyes and bow their heads, Moslems on board naturally feel offended. They feel that the herbalist has no right to assume that every passenger is a Christian. They think such an assumption is an affront to Islam.
So a Moslem on board will raise the hand for a point of order. He’ll remind the herbalist that it would be in his own interest to mind his language.
“Be careful the way you address people in a public place. Not every person here is a Christian,” he’d state assertively.
Of course, the herbalist will promptly ignore him, but would all the same “watch” his tongue. Who knows whether or not the Moslem brother is inspired by Quoranic zeal to defend the tenets of Islam to the hilt?
When he starts saying, “Wallahi!” and “Inshallah!” it could be the beginning of proclaiming Islam as supreme, a point which must be driven home with talibanic precision.
So the herbalist must tread carefully lest he steps on fire.
The herbalist could even add a measure of mirth to it all, by announcing that Christians on board today have very interesting company on the journey, but that should not detract from the business of the day.
The Moslem brother will weigh the words carefully and offer a wry smile.
He must be careful the occasion does not degenerate into the use of semantics and proverbial oration to deride his conviction that public utterances must be mindful of religious sensibilities. He has made his point very clear and expects that it is taken in good faith in the interest of a peaceful journey.
The herbalist will now open the New Testament and preach salvation, stating clearly that salvation can come only through Jesus Christ and NOBODY else.
The Moslem brother will now start twitching his moustache. The visible and almost revolutionary reflexes of his upper lip can be an indication that sentiments have begun superseding reason, and the outcome could well be tragic now shift uneasily in his seat.
The time has come for him to also express his right to the religion of his fore-bears. He’ll put his hand into his pocket and rise to his feet. The time has indeed come!
This article was first published on Saturday, September 9, 2006
When the cause of a particular problem like sickness, disease, sudden illness, a social issue etc. are not known, it stands to reason that resolving it becomes a huge challenge.
Citizens would understand the government when public announcements are made to the effect that government is trying to find a solution to the issue, even though it is taking a while for it to be resolved because citizens are rational beings.
On the other hand, if the solution to a particular issue is known to everybody but the government for whatever reason, is dragging its feet in resolving it, citizens become frustrated and begin to lose trust in their leaders.
One such issue is the heavy traffic along a section of the Kasoa – Odokor road. A short stretch of bad road between the traffic light at the Weija Government Hospital and the entrance to the entrance of the overhead that leads to the N1, is the cause of the problem but nothing is being done about it, day after day, week after week, month after month. Thus is clearly unacceptable.
Another issue that requires urgent attention is the lack of pavements along a lot of streets in parts of the various Municipal Assemblies. Exercise is a prerequisite for long life and healthy living and for those of us who it has become a way of life, this issue of people putting up structures right to the edge of the drains beside the roads, are making life difficult for us.
We are compelled to walk along the roads, putting our lives at serious risk. Pedestrians should never be compelled to compete with vehicles on our streets and roads. Roads and streets are made for vehicles and pavements are made for pedestrians. That is the norm. Any attempt to normalise a situation where pedestrians are mingling with vehicles is insanity.
It is the road regulations that makes it so and therefore district or municipal assemblies are to take responsibility and ensure that spaces for pavements are not encroached upon. Citizens have rights that must be protected by their leaders and making pavements available to pedestrians, is one of them.
When we hear of teachers having sex with students, it appears it is something recent. It is not a new phenomenon. It has been there since Adam. Perhaps this issue is getting much attention due to the proliferation of social media. It was an open secret in times past when Teachers were in relationships with female students and some married them immediately after completion of school.
Some teachers were also known to be having unholy interactions with female pupils but due to the times that these acts occurred, human rights issues and the awareness around it, allowed such unscrupulous teachers to get away with their crimes.
Now we are in a different era and so a Headmaster is now in hot waters. He is alleged to have raped about 19 female students and as usual, some officials tried to cover it up and are also in hot waters and their actions or inactions in the matter are under investigation.
Why the man has been allowed to roam freely without being arrested is simply mind boggling. It appears that the law applies differently, depending on who you are. This issue came to public attention sometime in August this year, yet the police had not arrested or invited this man for question regarding the rape allegation.
It has come out that he is a Constituency Secretary of the ruling party and the question in the public domain is that, is it because he is a political figure that is why he is still walking around without questioning? I believe in the rule of law so let us hold our breadth and let the proper thing be done.
The police must however be seen to be active in this matter. God bless.
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