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Are Ghanaians romantic?

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Some Ghanaian men see love as a ‘head ache’ because partners demand money
Some Ghanaian men see love as a ‘head ache’ because partners demand money

THE question has often been asked whether Ghanaians are romantic or not? The question has never been properly put, because the average Ghanaian might be a romantic legend outdoors but a total disaster indoors.

Sikaman Palava
Sikaman Palava

It means he can function romantically when people are looking, but under the cover of darkness and behind closed doors, he can only stumble and fall.

Indeed, in public, some people do express and even choreograph their love and affection for their partners. Immediately they get indoors, they are a changed personality. They start frowning because they cannot put up any good show.

The reverse is also true. So, the question should be properly asked with all the parameters of disaster carefully identified. And are Ghanaian men more romantic than the women?

From observation, one can identify culture as one of the limiting factors that have suppressed female romanticism. For example, when a female proposes love or even hints that she loves a man, the first impression people get is that she must be a ‘spoilt’ person.

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Lesson

So, a girl in love will never allow her boyfriend to hold her hand in public. Never! And if he is foolhardy enough to kiss her, she’ll either scream to the high heavens, or simply slap him on the face to teach him a crude lesson.

You’ll think such a girl is the reincarnation of the Virgin Mary, the personification of what is pure, prim, unadulterated and adorable. It is only when you manage to get her behind closed doors that you are likely to see the real stuff she is made of.

She’d teach you the rudiments of love and romantic tit-bits you never dreamt about. She’d show you what to do and what not to do, and how to do what you should do. In the end, you’d never be the same. Check it out!

When it comes to female romanticism, there are many factors coming into play. Some Ghanaian ladies are not suited for romance because they see the world in terms of making a living rather than pandering to the pleasures of life. So, to them, to be romantic is a bother. It is a job too difficult to undertake.

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They cannot even smile, let alone laugh. They see a smile as a frivolity, a laugh as the beginning of madness. What they keep thinking about is how to work for money.

Back-hand

To such persons, any suggestion of love or romance can get them poised to deliver a back-hand blow if it really comes to it. And if they ever make the mistake of getting married, the man is certain to die young. How can he cope with such a character?

When it comes to Ghanaian men, it can be worse. The problem is that the average Ghanaian man cannot give any quantitative or qualitative meaning to romance. He sees love either as a ‘head-ache’ because partners won’t stop demanding money, or as ‘sex’ because beyond it there is nothing else.

So, he enters into a relationship with a certain mindset, that is to give his lover money and demand sex in exchange. So where does romance come in? If by chance he decides to be a trifle bit romantic and gets his lover a birthday card, he is likely to get a rebuff if not a snob. “Ibi card I go chop?” the lady would ask him.

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The typical Ghanaian lady wants cash and you are giving her a card. She would wonder whether you are off! Mental!

So, the men are either not encouraged by their mates to be romantic, or they themselves are not romantic by nature. They can’t see how they can buy a bar of chocolate as a surprise for their darlings.

It isn’t that they can’t afford it. They just don’t think it makes any sense. They might as well learn from Indians. Indians know exactly how to consummate a love relationship by incorporating music and dance, poetry and lyrical effort into the exercise.

All these are portrayed in their films. A boy and girl in love in India, need space and time to express that love. They can even refuse food for three days and remain on a mountain range singing and dancing for love.

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The premium on romantic love is high. No wonder they have a relatively lower divorce rate. Which man in Ghana will forgo his fufu or banku for three days and go singing to a girl who is likely to break his heart in a fortnight?

Simulation

In any case, some Ghanaian men have learnt over time to be romantic, for the sake of it, and not because they think it matters. They read books and watch films and simulate from them.

Others travel and come back quite different. They even walk romantically if they happen to fall in love. That is what they’ve learnt in the cold. Certainly, it makes sense to be romantic in cold weather than in the hot African sun.

This article was first published on Saturday March 25, 2006

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Features

Disqualified-Part 1

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The discussion lasted only ten minutes. Mr Philip Sampson, Eunice’s father, had asked to see him, and he was led to the sitting room for the first time, and he indicated that he should sit down.                                                                                                                                          

 ‘Yes, Kakraba. I know that you have been, er, friends with Eunice for some months now, and naturally, as her father, I thought it would be important to meet you, and to reach an understanding with you on, er, some basic issues. So, I hear you are a graduate in building technology. Now, tell me about what you do’.                                                                        ‘Okay. I worked with the Electricity Company for two years after National Service. During that time I interacted with some lawyers and land surveyors on our project sites, so I suggested to some of them that we take some dilapidated buildings in some parts of Accra, rehabilitate them and find new owners. Soon after starting that I got a job as Project Manager with a group of development agencies who are executing projects in the Northern Region, so I have been balancing the two positions’.                                                                                                                                         

‘I see. That sounds like a bold step. So is it going well, financially?’                                      ‘Well, sir, I absolutely enjoy what I’m doing now. Financially, I would only say that I am a work in progress. A lot of what I’m doing now involves some risk taking, as it involves trust issues with land and property owners.

 I am partnering with prominent lawyers and land surveyors, so I am not taking any serious risks. So currently I doing okay financially, but it will take me some time before I reach the level where I can say I am comfortable financially.                           

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‘Okay. Now tell me about your parents’.                                                                                     ‘My father was an Agricultural Extension Officer, so we spent some time at several locations with him. He is now enjoying his retirement. And my mother is a retired nurse. I have three elder sisters, all married’.                                                                                                                       

‘So you live with your parents?’                                                                                                 ‘Yes and no. My dad built his home on one acre at Pokuase, so he gave me one plot, and I have done a three bedroom house, where I live’.                                                                                                   ‘

Okay, fine. Thanks for the answers. You see, in addition to my position socially, I spent many years in the diplomatic service, so I’m sure you will understand that I need to ensure that my kids, especially my daughters, maintain suitable relationships. For now I think it is fine that you and Eunice are friends. I’m sure you understand what I mean’.  

‘Yes sir. I understand perfectly well’.                                                                                           ‘Great, okay, that would be all’. Kakraba stood up, bowed and said thank you to Mr Sampson, and walked to the garden where his girlfriend Eunice, her mother Mrs. Elaine Sampson and her two elder sisters, Yvonne and Emma, were seated, busily discussing some dresses being offered for sale online.    

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‘So, Mrs Elaine asked him, you and Daddy had a good discussion?’                                               

‘Yes, Ma. We certainly did. I really appreciate Dad for the discussion. It was really good’.  ‘Great. Although he has met you here on quite a number of occasions, I think it is good that you have met for a chat’.                                                                                                                           

‘Yes indeed, Ma, and I really appreciate it. So Eunice, I will be on my way. I will call’. Eunice led him to his car, and after driving off he exhaled and shook his head. Although he had long concluded that Eunice’s family were so snobbish that a future relationship with her would be problematic, this discussion, or was it interrogation, had virtually cancelled any likelihood.

Mr. Sampson just told him, in no uncertain terms, that the Sampson family was so prominent and socially connected that a union between his daughter and him was undesirable. He had a good relationship with Eunice. They shared some beautiful moments together, and often went out to entertainment joints, often with her three friends Marian, Patricia and Amanda. But Kakraba was often uncomfortable with their preferences. Eunice regularly spoke about her family’s experiences during her father’s postings in Europe and Asia, and her three friends were always discussing the latest fashion trends, always noting the importance of placing themselves among the best dressed ladies in town. Eunice, her mother and siblings had indicated in several ways that he did not quite fit into their social standing. They had only said a mild ‘thank you’ when he brought them a goat or sheep and a generous amount of foodstuffs from the north, every month. But Kakraba did not really take it to heart, because they were quite inexpensive up north. And moreover, he always went to the food market and arranged with the truck drivers for a big package which was picked up by his buddy Paa John and delivered to his family and a few others including the Sampsons.

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Flood begins with rain but disasters start with us

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Some household items being washed away by the flood waters

When the floodwaters swept through parts of Ghana on Monday, June 29, they carried away more than furniture and household belongings. They washed away years of hard work, children’s school books, market goods, and family savings and, tragically, claimed lives.

For the families that lost loved ones, no amount of assistance can replace the pain of the silence left behind by someone who got lost during the torrential rains.

For many other survivors, the ordeal did not end when the rains stopped, but rather will have the Herculean task of rebuilding their lives from almost nothing.

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Mothers searched through debris for anything they could salvage. Children stood quietly beside damaged homes, unsure of when life would return to normal. Traders who lost their wares stared helplessly at soaked goods that represented their only source of income.

This is the situation whenever it rains continuously for hours, yet, once the waters recede, many of the behaviours that contribute to these disasters return.

Drains once cleared become clogged with plastic waste. Waterways are treated as dumping sites, while buildings continue to spring up on wetlands and natural drainage channels.

Effects on women, children

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For many women, particularly market traders, farmers and owners of small businesses, the floods had erased years of hard work in a matter of hours.

Merchandise have been destroyed, equipment damaged, and incomes disappear overnight.

With many women working in the informal sector and having limited financial protection, recovery is often slow and difficult.

Beyond the economic losses, women frequently carry the added burden of caring for their families during and after disasters. They clean flood-damaged homes, care for children, older relatives and the sick, secure food and water under difficult circumstances, and help restore a sense of normalcy while coping with their own trauma.

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Children are equally vulnerable. Floods disrupt their education by damaging schools and making roads impassable. Many children are displaced from their homes, exposing them to health risks, emotional distress and unsafe living conditions.

For children from already vulnerable households, a flood has deepened poverty and interrupted their development in ways that last long after the waters have receded.

Human activities

The scale of destruction witnessed during floods is often magnified by human behaviour.

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Drains designed to carry storm water are clogged with plastic waste, discarded household items and other refuse.

Wetlands and natural waterways are encroached upon through unplanned development, leaving floodwaters with nowhere to go.

Although floods affect everyone in their path, women and children often suffer the greatest consequences.

Climate Change

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Climate change has made rainfall more intense and unpredictable, but it is the actions of humans that often turn heavy rains into humanitarian disasters.

As the nation reflects on the devastation caused by the recent floods, one question demands urgent attention: How much of this destruction could have been prevented?

Climate change and increasingly intense rainfall are undeniable factors, the uncomfortable truth is that many of these disasters are worsened by human actions.

Choked drains, indiscriminate waste disposal and the encroachment on waterways continue to turn heavy rains into avoidable tragedies.

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Climate change has undoubtedly increased the frequency and intensity of extreme weather events, but it is only one part of the story.

UNICEF report

These concerns are reflected in UNICEF’s Children’s Climate Risk Report 2026, which warns that hundreds of millions of children worldwide face multiple climate hazards, including flooding.

According to the report, climate-related disasters threaten children’s health, education, nutrition and protection, with children in vulnerable communities facing the greatest risks.

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The report also highlights how existing inequalities often compound the impact of climate emergencies on women and children.

Floodwaters contaminated by waste also increase the risk of outbreaks of cholera, typhoid, diarrhoea and malaria. Pregnant women, nursing mothers, young children, older persons and people living with disabilities are particularly susceptible to these health threats.

United Nations (UN) Women notes that women and children are often disproportionately affected by climate-related disasters because they are more likely to experience poverty, carry greater caregiving responsibilities and have fewer resources to recover from disasters.

When floods destroy livelihoods, existing inequalities become even more pronounced. The painful truth is that many of these losses are avoidable.

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Way forward

No drainage system, regardless of how well designed, can function effectively if it is filled with refuse. No flood prevention programme can succeed if wetlands continue to be reclaimed for construction or if sanitation regulations are ignored.

Preventing floods is therefore not the responsibility of government alone. It requires a collective commitment from every citizen.

Proper waste disposal, regular community clean-up exercises, respect for planning regulations and the protection of waterways are simple but powerful actions that can save lives.

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Government must equally strengthen waste management systems, enforce environmental and building regulations without compromise, invest in climate-resilient infrastructure and ensure that disaster preparedness and response strategies address the specific needs of women, children and other vulnerable groups.

The United Nations Office for Disaster Risk Reduction has repeatedly emphasised that reducing disaster risk is far less costly than responding to disasters after they occur.

Investing in prevention, strengthening institutions and promoting responsible environmental practices remain among the most effective ways of protecting lives and livelihoods.

The recent floods should serve as more than another headline. They should be a national wake-up call.

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Climate change may be beyond the control of any one individual, but how we treat our environment is not. Every plastic bottle thrown into a drain, every illegal structure erected on a waterway and every act of indiscriminate dumping contributes to a cycle of destruction that claims lives and undermines national development.

If Ghana is to break that cycle, environmental responsibility must become a shared national value.

By Esinam Jemima Kuatsinu

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