Obaa Yaa
Should l accept his proposal?
We have been good friends from primary school through to the tertiary and a lot of friends predict that we are good couples in the making.
My friend has been in a stable relationship for many years and friends have concluded that the two love birds will definitely make a good couple.
Unfortunately, close to the end of our studies in the university, my friend suddenly allowed herself to be influenced by a rich man who visited the son on campus.
From the beginning, l thought this interaction would not cause any problem, but it has degenerated into a serious amorous affair.
Now, my friend has decided to leave her longtime friend for this rich man. My repeated appeals and pieces of advice could not help change her mind.
Secondly, her boyfriend who knows me as her best friend, continues to spend sleepless nights on the telephone with intermittent sobs, pleading with me to talk to her to rescind her decision and return to him.
Aware that all his efforts would not work and that my friend was determined to go ahead with the proposed wedding with the rich man, the boyfriend’s attention is now on me.
According to him, having observed me all these years, he has come to the conclusion that l will be the best replacement for my friend. He has promised to see my parents in the shortest period should l accept his proposal.
When l objected, he said it was my friend who abrogated the friendship and that he has decided to pick me as a good replacement, adding that l should not disappoint him either.
Meanwhile, this is a serious gentleman who is capable of becoming a good husband in the future.
Should l accept his proposal?
Nancy, Cape Coast.
Dear Nancy,
This is a thought-provoking issue which ought to be handled by an objective mind and better management for a good result.
I can envisage the pressure on you and the confused state in which you find yourself.
Though you are not responsible for the break in their relationship, you should not accept the offer from this gentleman because it will come with unexpected problems.
Judging from how close she was with this gentleman, one cannot rule out an intimate relationship, a situation which has the potential to break your friendship with your best friend.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
