Obaa Yaa
Should l accept his proposal?
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We have been good friends from primary school through to the tertiary and a lot of friends predict that we are good couples in the making.
My friend has been in a stable relationship for many years and friends have concluded that the two love birds will definitely make a good couple.
Unfortunately, close to the end of our studies in the university, my friend suddenly allowed herself to be influenced by a rich man who visited the son on campus.
From the beginning, l thought this interaction would not cause any problem, but it has degenerated into a serious amorous affair.
Now, my friend has decided to leave her longtime friend for this rich man. My repeated appeals and pieces of advice could not help change her mind.
Secondly, her boyfriend who knows me as her best friend, continues to spend sleepless nights on the telephone with intermittent sobs, pleading with me to talk to her to rescind her decision and return to him.
Aware that all his efforts would not work and that my friend was determined to go ahead with the proposed wedding with the rich man, the boyfriend’s attention is now on me.
According to him, having observed me all these years, he has come to the conclusion that l will be the best replacement for my friend. He has promised to see my parents in the shortest period should l accept his proposal.
When l objected, he said it was my friend who abrogated the friendship and that he has decided to pick me as a good replacement, adding that l should not disappoint him either.
Meanwhile, this is a serious gentleman who is capable of becoming a good husband in the future.
Should l accept his proposal?
Nancy, Cape Coast.
Dear Nancy,
This is a thought-provoking issue which ought to be handled by an objective mind and better management for a good result.
I can envisage the pressure on you and the confused state in which you find yourself.
Though you are not responsible for the break in their relationship, you should not accept the offer from this gentleman because it will come with unexpected problems.
Judging from how close she was with this gentleman, one cannot rule out an intimate relationship, a situation which has the potential to break your friendship with your best friend.
MY daughter completed Senior High School this year and she had a very good grade.
With her grade, her father wants her to pursue Computer Science Engineering, but she had an interest in Civil Engineering.
Finally, admission forms are out and my daughter got Civil Engineering.
Her father doesn’t pay for her school fees because she did not choose the course he wanted her to offer.
Due to this, they don’t see eye to eye and it is causing tension at home.
Please, how do I reconcile father and daughter? I am so stressed with what’s going on between the two. Thank you.
Enyonam, Keta.
Dear Enyonam,
BOTH of them have legitimate feelings: the father may be worried about her future and wants to guide her, while your daughter wants to pursue a field she is genuinely interested in.
Do not try to settle the matter when either person is angry. The purpose should not be to decide who is right, but to find a solution that protects their relationship and your daughter’s future.
Ask your daughter to explain why she chose Civil Engineering.
She should explain what attracts her to the course, the subjects involved, the career opportunities and, importantly, why she believes she can succeed in it. If she has researched the universities and career paths, she should present that information to her father.
Talk to the father that financial support should not become a weapon.
It is understandable that a parent wants to have a say in a child’s education, especially when paying the fees. However, withdrawing educational support simply because his daughter chose a different legitimate course can damage their relationship. He can express his disagreement while still supporting her and allowing her to take responsibility for her choice.
Dear Araba,
THERE is this handsome gentleman in my area I am crushing on badly. He gave me a lift to the office a month ago and I mistakenly farted in the car.
When the incident happened in the car, he just stared at me but looked unbothered, which made me a bit comfortable.
Araba, Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
HONESTLY, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You are human, and human beings fart. The fact that he didn’t say anything or make you feel uncomfortable probably means he understood that it was an accidental, normal bodily function.
Ever since that incident happened, he has stopped calling or texting me. He doesn’t even give me a lift any longer.
Please, tell me, is it a crime to fart in your crush’s car?
What is keeping you embarrassed after months is not the fart itself but the meaning you have attached to it. You have replayed the incident so many times that it has become bigger in your mind than it probably ever was in his.
Just confront him that it was a mistake and, for that matter, we should let go of everything and move on.
