Obaa Yaa
I am not ready for third abortion
We are in a relationship close to seven years and l have had two abortions. On the first occasion, it was normal since l did not feel pains after the act.
Unfortunately, the second abortion nearly ended my life and l am forever grateful to God for having spared my life.
A cousin of mine is aware of the relationship and always pleads with me to compel my lover to know my parents and if possible inform them about our plans to get married in a short period.
Unfortunately, l am once again pregnant and my boyfriend is insisting that l abort the pregnancy because he is not financially capable of fathering a child and shouldering more responsibilities.
Terrified by the ordeal l went through as a result of the second abortion, l had vowed never to terminate any pregnancy in my life.
I am the only daughter of my parents and l cannot imagine how miserable they will be if l die through a preventable and misguided act like this.
Surprisingly, he has threatened not to accept responsibility should l go ahead to maintain the pregnancy.
Should l remain resolute in my decision?
Yaa Baby-Accra.
Dear Yaa Baby,
You have done well by taking a definite decision to correct the unpleasant ordeal you have had and the need to repair your future.
Though it is unacceptable to receive threat from your lover, you are not the first person to receive such a threat and certainly not going to be the last one either.
This is an opportune time for you to inform your parents, and they will not hesitate to pull your lover by his ears to face the consequences of his action. Since he has called for the tune, he must be ready to dance to it.
You will not have it easy with your parents, but the fact remains that one cannot tell what this innocent child will become in the future. Yaa Baby, you will be exceedingly dumbfounded if this child turns out to become an influential person in society.
Stick to your decision because should you survive this abortion like the previous ones, you cannot guarantee the possibility of becoming pregnant in life again.
Six months after marriage, I realised my wife had cheated twice. One happened months before marriage and the other happened just two months after marriage. We dated for four years before we got married.
She had saved the name on her phone as Chairman. The conversation between them didn’t happen every day but once they talked, everything was about sex. My wife encouraged every word and even made suggestions as to where to meet.
I want to meet ‘Chairman,’ is it a good or a bad idea?
Yoofi, Takoradi.
Dear Yoofi,
What you have discovered is deeply painful, especially after investing four years of dating and entering marriage with trust, love and commitment. Betrayal in marriage is not only about the physical act, but also the emotional damage, secrecy and broken trust that come with it.
At this point, it is important not to make decisions purely out of anger or revenge. You need clarity, honest and calm conversations. Your wife must first be willing to tell the whole truth and take responsibility for her actions without excuses.
However, before deciding whether to stay or leave, ask yourself some important questions. Is she willing to cut ties completely with this man? Is she ready to rebuild trust through openness and accountability? And most importantly, do you still see a future with her despite the hurt?
Healing from infidelity takes time, patience and sometimes professional counselling. Do not suffer in silence. Speak to a trusted counsellor, pastor or matured family person who can guide both of you wisely.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 28 years old guy who has been posted as a trained teacher in one of the rural areas in the Central Region.
I didn’t move in with my family because of the nature of my wife’s job.
About two months ago, I befriended one of the students who run errands for me. One thing led to the other and mistakenly had my way with her.
After two weeks, the girl came to tell me that she was pregnant and that I should give her money to terminate the pregnancy because if her parents get to know of it, they would cause my arrest.
This got me disturbed because I might lose [u1] my job.
Upon a second thought, I discussed this with a friend and she told me it might be a plan to extort money from me.
I personally texted her not to terminate the pregnancy but interestingly, I received a response that she has seen her monthly flow.
In fact, I became convinced about what my colleague told me. I want to end the relationship, what should I tell her and what should be my response when my wife hears of it.
Obaa Yaa, please I need an urgent advice.
David, Tema.
Dear David,
Your case is a very simple one. You are even lucky your friend who is much acquainted with the chicanery of the local girls fortunately hinted you and the girl has confirmed it all.
You better quit that relationship and avoid her because she thinks about following you home.
If you haven’t told her you are married, please tell her now.
