Obaa Yaa
I am not ready for third abortion
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We are in a relationship close to seven years and l have had two abortions. On the first occasion, it was normal since l did not feel pains after the act.
Unfortunately, the second abortion nearly ended my life and l am forever grateful to God for having spared my life.
A cousin of mine is aware of the relationship and always pleads with me to compel my lover to know my parents and if possible inform them about our plans to get married in a short period.
Unfortunately, l am once again pregnant and my boyfriend is insisting that l abort the pregnancy because he is not financially capable of fathering a child and shouldering more responsibilities.
Terrified by the ordeal l went through as a result of the second abortion, l had vowed never to terminate any pregnancy in my life.
I am the only daughter of my parents and l cannot imagine how miserable they will be if l die through a preventable and misguided act like this.
Surprisingly, he has threatened not to accept responsibility should l go ahead to maintain the pregnancy.
Should l remain resolute in my decision?
Yaa Baby-Accra.
Dear Yaa Baby,
You have done well by taking a definite decision to correct the unpleasant ordeal you have had and the need to repair your future.
Though it is unacceptable to receive threat from your lover, you are not the first person to receive such a threat and certainly not going to be the last one either.
This is an opportune time for you to inform your parents, and they will not hesitate to pull your lover by his ears to face the consequences of his action. Since he has called for the tune, he must be ready to dance to it.
You will not have it easy with your parents, but the fact remains that one cannot tell what this innocent child will become in the future. Yaa Baby, you will be exceedingly dumbfounded if this child turns out to become an influential person in society.
Stick to your decision because should you survive this abortion like the previous ones, you cannot guarantee the possibility of becoming pregnant in life again.
MY daughter completed Senior High School this year and she had a very good grade.
With her grade, her father wants her to pursue Computer Science Engineering, but she had an interest in Civil Engineering.
Finally, admission forms are out and my daughter got Civil Engineering.
Her father doesn’t pay for her school fees because she did not choose the course he wanted her to offer.
Due to this, they don’t see eye to eye and it is causing tension at home.
Please, how do I reconcile father and daughter? I am so stressed with what’s going on between the two. Thank you.
Enyonam, Keta.
Dear Enyonam,
BOTH of them have legitimate feelings: the father may be worried about her future and wants to guide her, while your daughter wants to pursue a field she is genuinely interested in.
Do not try to settle the matter when either person is angry. The purpose should not be to decide who is right, but to find a solution that protects their relationship and your daughter’s future.
Ask your daughter to explain why she chose Civil Engineering.
She should explain what attracts her to the course, the subjects involved, the career opportunities and, importantly, why she believes she can succeed in it. If she has researched the universities and career paths, she should present that information to her father.
Talk to the father that financial support should not become a weapon.
It is understandable that a parent wants to have a say in a child’s education, especially when paying the fees. However, withdrawing educational support simply because his daughter chose a different legitimate course can damage their relationship. He can express his disagreement while still supporting her and allowing her to take responsibility for her choice.
Dear Araba,
THERE is this handsome gentleman in my area I am crushing on badly. He gave me a lift to the office a month ago and I mistakenly farted in the car.
When the incident happened in the car, he just stared at me but looked unbothered, which made me a bit comfortable.
Araba, Takoradi.
Dear Araba,
HONESTLY, I don’t see anything wrong with that. You are human, and human beings fart. The fact that he didn’t say anything or make you feel uncomfortable probably means he understood that it was an accidental, normal bodily function.
Ever since that incident happened, he has stopped calling or texting me. He doesn’t even give me a lift any longer.
Please, tell me, is it a crime to fart in your crush’s car?
What is keeping you embarrassed after months is not the fart itself but the meaning you have attached to it. You have replayed the incident so many times that it has become bigger in your mind than it probably ever was in his.
Just confront him that it was a mistake and, for that matter, we should let go of everything and move on.
