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Obaa Yaa

He is my dependable life partner

We started school from the kindergarten through to the Senior High School and held the greatest belief that we would end up as great academicians.

Even at this level, my friend was knowledgeable, experienced and very intelligent, a quality which enabled him to occupy the first position in class always.

With time, he decided to assist me to catch up in the subjects l was not good at and could hardly pass.

l regard him my mentor and he rightly deserves this accolade because  he is  principled, keeps  to policies and always on fire to ensure that things are done the right way.

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Unfortunately, during the process of teaching and helping me to understand some of the difficult topics, the unexpected happened when the two of us dropped our guard and l became pregnant.

Though he was initially disturbed when l disclosed to him that l had missed my period, he quickly picked up courage and consoled me that things would work out for good, despite the incident.

My parents did not hesitate to invite him when l disclosed to them the mess into which l had gotten myself.

I dropped out of school because of my situation and he was solidly behind me. The support l received from my parents and his, made me to go through this turbulent period without regrets.

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The two of us agreed that he should continue his education in the university while l nurse our child after which l will also continue.

Keeping to our plans and with the help of God, l joined him in the university after l had weaned my child, and my mother took care of my child.

He completed successfully with a first-class and did his Masters after which he secured a good job in a reputable organisation.

Our parents advised us not to allow misfortunes to take the better part of us but study hard to become successful in the future. With his good example and able direction, l was able to complete my tertiary education and l am now teaching.

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ObaaYaa, l would be glad if you could advise parents and the youth on the steps to take in the event of such cases.

Belinda, Accra.

Dear Belinda,

It is worthwhile and pleasing to note that you have turned a problem into success and this has given me the chance to offer words of encouragement to parents and the youth.

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All those who played various parts in your life have done exceptionally well and must be commended.

In their quest to study together, the youth should refrain from sitting in enclosed places and be on their guard and stay away from amorous acts.

Though your husband meant well, the two of you were taken by events and the ensuing pregnancy. However, the two of you boldly confronted the challenge and played your respective roles, backed by your parents to calm the storm.

Parents should not instantly throw in the towel and get enraged if things do not work out well for their children. They should work around the clock and come out with alternative results to guarantee a better future for their children.

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Irrespective of whatever happens, if the youth involved in the problem fail to take advice, then they should have themselves to blame.

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Obaa Yaa

I am sexually attracted to children

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.

The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.

My only problem is that I need a part­ner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.

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I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.

In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.

Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.

Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actual­ly wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?

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Dabo, Tamale.

Dear Dabo,

I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.

You need to understand that your de­sire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.

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I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.

You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiat­ric help.

I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.

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Obaa Yaa

The banker deceived me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.

We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.

It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.

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The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.

He is not showing any com­mitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.

I am currently finding it dif­ficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.

My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I can­not give him the best of educa­tion since I am not working.

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Prisca, Dodowa.

Dear Prisca,

Your story is a sad and unfor­tunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.

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It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.

And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?

Report the matter to the Do­mestic Violence and Victims Sup­port Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.

They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.

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