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Obaa Yaa

He is my dependable life partner

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We started school from the kindergarten through to the Senior High School and held the greatest belief that we would end up as great academicians.

Even at this level, my friend was knowledgeable, experienced and very intelligent, a quality which enabled him to occupy the first position in class always.

With time, he decided to assist me to catch up in the subjects l was not good at and could hardly pass.

l regard him my mentor and he rightly deserves this accolade because  he is  principled, keeps  to policies and always on fire to ensure that things are done the right way.

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Unfortunately, during the process of teaching and helping me to understand some of the difficult topics, the unexpected happened when the two of us dropped our guard and l became pregnant.

Though he was initially disturbed when l disclosed to him that l had missed my period, he quickly picked up courage and consoled me that things would work out for good, despite the incident.

My parents did not hesitate to invite him when l disclosed to them the mess into which l had gotten myself.

I dropped out of school because of my situation and he was solidly behind me. The support l received from my parents and his, made me to go through this turbulent period without regrets.

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The two of us agreed that he should continue his education in the university while l nurse our child after which l will also continue.

Keeping to our plans and with the help of God, l joined him in the university after l had weaned my child, and my mother took care of my child.

He completed successfully with a first-class and did his Masters after which he secured a good job in a reputable organisation.

Our parents advised us not to allow misfortunes to take the better part of us but study hard to become successful in the future. With his good example and able direction, l was able to complete my tertiary education and l am now teaching.

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ObaaYaa, l would be glad if you could advise parents and the youth on the steps to take in the event of such cases.

Belinda, Accra.

Dear Belinda,

It is worthwhile and pleasing to note that you have turned a problem into success and this has given me the chance to offer words of encouragement to parents and the youth.

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All those who played various parts in your life have done exceptionally well and must be commended.

In their quest to study together, the youth should refrain from sitting in enclosed places and be on their guard and stay away from amorous acts.

Though your husband meant well, the two of you were taken by events and the ensuing pregnancy. However, the two of you boldly confronted the challenge and played your respective roles, backed by your parents to calm the storm.

Parents should not instantly throw in the towel and get enraged if things do not work out well for their children. They should work around the clock and come out with alternative results to guarantee a better future for their children.

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Irrespective of whatever happens, if the youth involved in the problem fail to take advice, then they should have themselves to blame.

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Obaa Yaa

My Stepfather at ‘war’ with me over my late mother’s house

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 39-year-old woman and the eldest of four children. My mother died five years ago. Before her death, she owned a house where she lived with my stepfather and my younger siblings. My stepfather had been married to my mother for more than 20 years.

After the death of mother. My stepfather has gone to court, claiming that the house belongs to him. He says he contributed money towards the construction and maintenance of the property and that my mother’s children have no right to interfere with it.

He has even accused me and my siblings of trying to take the house from him.

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I am shocked because my mother was the person who acquired the land and started the building. She also told us several times that the house was meant to remain in the family.

There is no written agreement between my mother and my stepfather about who owns what, and I am worried that this case could divide the family permanently.

My younger siblings are also angry with me because they believe I should fight my stepfather until the house is given to us.

Obaa Yaa, should I fight him in court or try to settle the matter outside court?

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From Frimpongmaa,

Assin Praso.

Dear Frimpongmaa, 

I am sorry you are going through this. A dispute over your late mother’s home can be very painful, especially when it involves your stepfather. Do not give up on the house or sign any document simply because he has sued you. Being sued does not mean that he automatically owns the property.

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Find out exactly what your stepfather is claiming, for example, whether he says the house belongs to him, that he is the beneficiary, or that you have no right to the property.

The court will determine who legally owns the property based on the applicable succession law and the evidence.

The exact answer can change considerably depending on where the house is located, whether your mother left a Will, how she acquired the house, what type of marriage she had with your stepfather, whether there are other children, and the applicable customary/statutory law.

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Obaa Yaa

I can’t meet demands from my husband’s family

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a woman married for over 17 years and blessed with three children.

My father passed away two years ago and left some property to me and my two siblings.

Among the things I inherited was a piece of land and a house which I intend to keep for my children’s future.

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My husband’s family are putting pressure on me to give up the property and allow my husband to take control of it. They are saying that because I am married, anything I inherit should benefit my husband and his family as well.

I have tried to explain that my father deliberately left the property to me, but they accuse me of being selfish and disrespectful to my husband’s family.

I am now confused. I love my husband, but I don’t want to lose what my father worked hard to leave behind.

What should I do?

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Adzo, Ho

Dear Adzo

If the inheritance legally belongs to you, you should not feel pressured to surrender it simply to be at peace with your husband’s family.

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 At the same time, avoid making a rush decision based on anger or fear.

I don’t see the reason why your husband’s family wants to take control of the land.

Keep copies of relevant documents and, if necessary, seek legal advice.

Do not sign any document transferring, renouncing your interest until you fully understand its consequences.

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You should also have a good conversation with your husband. Ask him why his family wants you to hand over your inheritance to them and whether he supports their position.

Remember that family pressure is not the same as a legal obligation. You can respect your husband’s relatives without surrendering something that is rightfully yours.

If you eventually decide to share part of the inheritance, let it be because you genuinely wanted to, not because you were intimidated or emotionally overstretched.

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