Obaa Yaa
Married man eager to marry me
I met this married man a couple of years ago and he has literally become my greatest provider and everything.
He has rented and furnished a new apartment for me, and provides for my needs.
Though he is married and has four children, he has promised to marry me in addition to his wife, provided l could keep our love affair secret.
His wife is the quarrelsome type who can team up with people to cause disturbance whenever she hears about the husband in an extramarital affairs.
Should l accept his proposal to marry me?
Mary, Cape Coast.
Dear Mary,
The saying goes that ‘all that glitters is not gold,’ therefore, you should not depend on the money and the nice things being lavished on you because this will not be forever.
Trouble will definitely come if this man’s wife gets to know that you have an illicit affair with her husband and the consequences will not be pleasant.
Additionally, you are likely to have problems with this man’s children who will surely side with their mother in all matters.
Since you have had enough from him, try to set aside his proposal and live an independent life to guarantee a future without troubles.
Greetings
Humu Nuhu. Tuesday, June 1, 2020, was your birthday. I wish to indicate that you are a gift to the world for which you deserve the best of everything. On this special occasion, l pray that you receive the joy of life and absolute peace of mind. Belated happy birthday, dear.
From: Rashid, your brother.
Akosua Boakyewaa Mensah. We are filled with joy for the opportunity to celebrate another birthday in good health. On this special occasion, we wish to thank God and pray for His continued blessings and protection.Belated happy birthday.
From: Mr Michael Wonder and Mrs Priscilla Ehun.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Due to a small misunderstanding, my wife has left her matrimonial home and had gone to stay with my in-laws. I have been invited by them to come for the matter to be settled.
However, I have been reliably informed that my wife and my three-year-old son are currently staying with a man.
This is so annoying, I want to call in the police to arrest and charge this man for abduction.
Philip,
Accra.
Dear Philip,
You don’t have a problem with this man. You have a problem with your wife.
Also, do not rely on hearsay to act. I suggest you go to your In-laws to ask of your wife and listen to what they have to say.
Go along with a mature member of your family and discuss the issue.
If it is just a ‘small misunderstanding’ as you say then let your attitude lead to reconciliation.
If it is true that your wife is living with a man and her parents endorse it then that is another matter.
Your family must meet her family squarely on the matter to decide whether your marriage to their daughter is over or not.
But don’t go for a divorce no matter how complicated things may turn out to be. You owe your child his happiness. The police is a last resort.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a girl of 25 years. My fiancé is 30 years. We met about three years ago when my fiancé was in training college. The plan was to get married after his schooling so we started making initial preparations towards that.
Now, my fiancé has started working in readiness to carry on with the engagement but his father says he should hold on because he started work not long ago.
His father doesn’t object to our relationship but he insists that my fiancé should further his education at the University before the engagement.
He warned, however, that if we insist on carrying out with the engagement, then he should be counted out. He would have nothing to do with his son again.
My fiancé also thinks marriage without the consent of the father can be disastrous because the Bible even talks about honouring one’s parents.
Obaa Yaa, my problem is that I cannot wait any longer. I feel like walking out of the relationship because my fiancé is being dictated to by the father. Please what should I do.
Ekua,
Obom.
Dear Ekua,
Probably your fiancé’s father is concerned about a better future for the two of you since marriage can be financially demanding.
What you are calling ‘engagement’ is customary marriage.
I believe you need to accept your boyfriend’s father’s advice and also use the opportunity to either further your education or be financially stable.
It is good to be married but it is better both partners are financially stable so that both of you will not be financially or emotionally drained in the marriage.
Real security is when you and your partner have no ulterior motive for marrying each other but for the sake of mutual love and respect which is based on the fear of God.
