Obaa Yaa
l suspect she has secret lover
l am a 28-year- old trader and my girlfriend is 25 years old selling pastries; we have been together for two years without sex.
Though she is a pretty lady who visits me during the day and does my household chores, she does not come close to my house in the night. According to her, we should stay away from sex until we get married.
She is generous and has provided me with many gifts, especially my basic needs and sometimes gives me money when l complain that l have no money.
I have proposed to her and she has accepted to marry me, however, a friend told me that she has a boyfriend in their area who she visits always.
This has confirmed my suspicion that she has a secret lover for which reason she has refused to visit me in the night and probably comfort my bed.
Because of her behaviour, l am planning to pick someone who will satisfy me sexually. Should l go ahead in carrying out my plan?
Mark, Kintampo.
Dear Mark,
Marriage is a life-long process which demands careful consideration and should not be based on sex alone but needs tact and diplomacy to succeed.
Her decision not to visit you in the night is probably to prevent premarital sex since you are not yet married.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
