Obaa Yaa
My sister’s husband is making advances at me
We lost our father when our eldest brother was nine years old and l was three years by then.
My father was the bread-winner of the family and we enjoyed unconditional love from him and his preparedness to give us any assistance we needed.
Following his demise, l envisaged the trouble that awaited my mother who must single-handedly cater for us.
A good friend of my father occasionally assisted in paying our school fees and further sponsored our eldest brother to the university, and arranged for one of his cousins to marry my elder sister.
My sister’s husband has been very supportive of my family based on this, my sister asked that l should stay with her and the husband wholeheartedly agreed to the relief to my mother.
Though there is joy in the house and things are moving on well, my sister’s husband is making fast advances at me.
On the first occasion, he opened the door when l was bathing and my sister had gone to the hospital to weigh her child.
Having realised the shock in my face, he quickly apologised and said it was a mistake and that he did not know l was there.
I took him for his word and accepted his apology as coming from a genuine heart. After a week, he touched my buttocks when l was washing. I chuckled and told him to stop such acts else l would inform my sister.
He later gave me GH¢2,000.00 and asked me not to tell my sister about the incident and that he had given me money to seal my mouth.
This man entered my room one night and wanted to sleep with me when my sister was taking her bath. He pleaded with me that he would give me more money if l allowed him to sleep with me.
I am now disturbed because my sister will not take it kindly if she gets to know of any intimate relationship between her husband and me.
What should l do to avoid shame and save my sister’s marriage?
Araba, Cape Coast.
Dear Araba,
Thank God that you have not succumbed to his sexual desires which will definitely stain your character and probably destroy your future.
This man should not hide behind his generosity to make a fool of you and bring enmity between you and your sister. It will be an abominable act if you allow him to have his way and your sister will not trust you in life as this will forever spoil the relationship between you and your sister.
It is important for you to leave the house in order to maintain your respect and save the marriage of your sister.
You must confide in your mother who will persuade your sister to release you to return to your mother’s place.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We bumped into each other on orientation day as freshers on campus. I liked his smile, his choice of words, and charisma. I didn’t hesitate at all when he asked for my contact. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with a guy like this, I said to myself.
We texted more often, had conversations on phone, and our friendship literally grew very strong. We attended lectures together, studied together, hanged out together; everyone thought we were lovers.
He did everything for me—surprise dates, thoughtful gifts, pays my academic fees, and gives me a listening ear everyone would wish for.
One evening at a friend’s birthday party, standing in the middle of the audience, he proposed and asked me to be his girlfriend. I declined his proposal; this was because I have no feelings for him, and I just want us to be friends.
He is a man with good morals, so gentle, God-fearing, ambitious, a man every lady would wish for, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I wondered if love was supposed to be this complicated: the more he did, the more I felt like a friend, not a lover. He still wants me, but I want us to be just friends. What should I do?
Naa Kwarley, Kaneshie.
Dear Naa Kwarley,
This is a tough situation, and you’re handling it with both kindness and firmness.
Since you’ve already told him you’re not interested in a romantic relationship, it’s crucial to be clear and direct while still being respectful. I’d advise you to reiterate your feelings to him, emphasising that you value him as a person and appreciate what he’s done, but you see him more as a close friend. Make it clear that you hope you can still maintain a strong friendship, but it can’t be anything more.
It’s essential to be prepared for him to need space or time to process, so be patient and understanding.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a regular reader of your highly esteemed paper and I would like to know whether some amount of money is paid to those who write short stories for publication on the children’s page of your Weekly Spectator.
I wrote a short story which was published last month, and my friends who saw it told me that a token will be paid to anyone whose story is published.
A.J., Kwabenya.
Dear A.J.,
We don’t pay for short stories published on our children’s page. That opportunity is to encourage school children to develop the habit of writing. We believe that by publishing their short stories, they’ll be encouraged to write more.
The paper is open to everyone who wants to share ideas or write about a concern.
