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Obaa Yaa

Childlessness likely to push us apart

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

We are in our sixth year of marriage with lots of love for each other.
We have many friends who love us and are always around to lend a hand of support in whatever we do.
Unfortunately, we do not have children, a situation which has the possibility of pushing us apart due to the frequent comments and attacks from people.
Although my husband has not personally complained to me, a close relative of his told me his parents keep asking for a grandchild.
He seemed not to be concerned for now, however, the frequent disturbances could degenerate into serious problem for me.
Checks at the hospital have not produced any good results. What should l do? Should we adopt or go to a fertility hospital for an invitro- fertilisation? I am worried.
Vida, Accra.

Dear Vida,
The problem should not be laid on your head alone but it rather calls for concerted efforts from the two of you to solve it once and for all.
The decision to write to this column explains how worried you are and you ought to know that you are not the only family being confronted with such a problem.
Some couples had stayed either eight, 10 or more years before conceiving. However, the problem was solved through regular check-ups with the assistance of a gynaecologist specialist.

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Obaa Yaa

My husband is uncomfortable with me going to market 

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.

Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.

This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I  has now become a family affair.

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I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.

He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.

Baaba, Apam

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Dear Baaba,

Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage. 

Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.

Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.

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You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.

On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.

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Obaa Yaa

My landlord wants to eject me over refusal to pay 100% increment

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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200. 

He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.

Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.

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