Obaa Yaa
Childlessness likely to push us apart
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We are in our sixth year of marriage with lots of love for each other.
We have many friends who love us and are always around to lend a hand of support in whatever we do.
Unfortunately, we do not have children, a situation which has the possibility of pushing us apart due to the frequent comments and attacks from people.
Although my husband has not personally complained to me, a close relative of his told me his parents keep asking for a grandchild.
He seemed not to be concerned for now, however, the frequent disturbances could degenerate into serious problem for me.
Checks at the hospital have not produced any good results. What should l do? Should we adopt or go to a fertility hospital for an invitro- fertilisation? I am worried.
Vida, Accra.
Dear Vida,
The problem should not be laid on your head alone but it rather calls for concerted efforts from the two of you to solve it once and for all.
The decision to write to this column explains how worried you are and you ought to know that you are not the only family being confronted with such a problem.
Some couples had stayed either eight, 10 or more years before conceiving. However, the problem was solved through regular check-ups with the assistance of a gynaecologist specialist.
Obaa Yaa
I am sexually attracted to children
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young man residing in Tamale. I am 40 years old and I have got my own business which is going on successfully.
The nature of my job had made me richer and am able to afford anything that I want.
My only problem is that I need a partner but I don’t fall in love with matured women. I am attracted to children.
I have had an encounter with so many women who are ‘marriage materials and type’ but none of them touch my heart.
In my previous relationship, the girl I dated was 15 years. She took me as a big brother but to me she was my lover.
Now that she is 22 and I can marry her, I have lost interest in her.
Obaa Yaa, what do you think is actually wrong with me? Is it normal? How can I have a partner if I continue to feel this way?
Dabo, Tamale.
Dear Dabo,
I don’t even know how to start this conversation. It is not everything that your heart desires that you should go for.
You need to understand that your desire for children sexually is criminal under the laws of this land so it should not be entertained.
I suggest you seek the assistance of psychologist to advise you or else you might end up in jail.
You might be suffering from pedophilia which is a condition of being sexually attracted to children. You need psychiatric help.
I suggest you also speak to your pastors to help you in prayers, in case it might be spiritual.
Obaa Yaa
The banker deceived me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a banker who told me he wasn’t married and therefore, wanted to marry me.
We started going out and spending time together. He went to the extent of going to see my parents for the engagement list.
It was only after I got pregnant when he confessed he was already married and could not afford to marry me as a second wife.
The problem is that for the past five years, this man has refused to provide for the upkeep of the child.
He is not showing any commitments towards the child and making things difficult for me.
I am currently finding it difficult to take care of the child’s feeding and clothing.
My child is very brilliant at school and my fear is that I cannot give him the best of education since I am not working.
Prisca, Dodowa.
Dear Prisca,
Your story is a sad and unfortunate one. He just ‘toyed’ with you and was successful.
It’s about time women check about the men who propose to them.
And in the first place, why were you intimate with him, knowing very well that you were not married?
Report the matter to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU) of the Ghana Police Service, formerly known as Women and Juvenile Unit (WAJU) immediately.
They would summon him and question him about the upkeep of his child and employ legal means to make him accept responsibility for the child.
