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Obaa Yaa

Many disappointments worrying

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 25 years old, and working in a mining company. I had four unsuccessful relationships, all of which were at the stage of marriage.

Unfortunately, all the plans were cancelled at the final stages of our preparations which gave me emotional problems.

The grace of God has sustained me all these years and l am grateful. Though l kept hoping against hope after the first three disappointments, it was nearly a disaster when the fourth one happened.

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l am afraid to accept proposal for another relationship because of the previous problems. The reason being that l am not prepared to endure any further disappointment.

l wish to remain single in order to keep away from further embarrassment. Should l carry out my intention?

Barbara, Accra.

Dear Barbara,

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I sympathise with you for the painful way your relationships have ended. Indeed, every sensible person to go through an experience of this sort must be afraid to enter into another relationship.

 Despite the misfortunes that had befallen you, pick up courage and do not lose hope to infer that the opportunities in life are lost to you forever.

Importantly, try to examine yourself and find out whether you have a problem which is driving your lovers away from you.

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Obaa Yaa

My husband is uncomfortable with me going to market 

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Dear Obaa Yaa,

My marriage is falling apart because I spent more than an hour at the market, and I honestly do not know what to do anymore.

Anytime I visit the market, my husband gives me only one hour to return home regardless of wherever I have gotten to.

This has brought disagreement between my husband and I .What started as a disagreement between my husband and I  has now become a family affair.

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I never imagined that a simple trip to the market would lead to such a painful situation in my marriage.

He has told me to pack from our matrimonial home until further notice.

Baaba, Apam

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Dear Baaba,

Do not allow family pressure to determine the future of your marriage. 

Your husband’s family may genuinely want peace, but their desire to restore the marriage should not take priority over your emotional well-being.

Marriage reconciliation should not be about getting a woman back to her husband’s house at all costs.

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You can respect your husband’s family without allowing them to dictate your decision.

On a more serious note, your husband should acknowledge the harm caused by his actions and apologise sincerely if he wrongfully sent you away. However, an apology alone is not enough to repair a marriage.

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Obaa Yaa

My landlord wants to eject me over refusal to pay 100% increment

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Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a young lady of 27 years, living in a single room at Lapaz. I have stayed there for three years and I always pay my rent on time.
Last month, my landlord called me and said he had doubled the rent c from GH₵600 to GH₵1,200. 

He says everything had increased so I must pay double or leave by the end of this month. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t have that amount. When I tried to beg him, he said if I don’t pay, he will lock my room.
Please advise me, what should I do? I am stressed.
Worried tenant.

Dear worried tenant,
I don’t know why your landlord is acting this way. He cannot just lock your room or eject you like that. In Ghana, the Rent Act mandates a landlord to give proper written notice and go through the Rent Control Department. Locking your room or throwing your things out is illegal.
You can explain to him that you cannot afford 100% at once. Propose something you can afford, maybe ask for time to adjust.
Go to the Rent Control office near you (with your old receipt and any message from your landlord). They will invite him and help you both agree on a fair increment. Usually, an increment should be reasonable, not 100% overnight.
While Rent Control is handling it, quietly start looking at other options, just in case he insists on not renewing your rent after your current rent expires.

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