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Obaa Yaa

We are friends with benefits

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Dear Obaa Yaa

I have been dating my boyfriend for seven years. I later met a male friend a year ago and we are engaging in ‘friends with benefits.’

I have grown to love this guy more than my boyfriend. I always think about him, dream about him, call him and text him more than l text my boyfriend.

I even got pregnant for him, pinned it on my boyfriend and told him I wanted to abort the pregnancy because I knew that when l give birth, the baby will not look like my boyfriend and he might one day discover my secret deeds.

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He gave me GH¢ 2,500.00 to abort the pregnancy.

I have realised that my friend is only interested in having sex but not ready for marriage.

I am eager and looking forward to a permanent relationship which will end up in marriage but he said no.

I feel betrayed and fooled but I still have him as a friend.

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Pls what should I do?

Jessica- Accra.

****

Dear Jessica,

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You cannot eat your cake and have it. Since you do not love your boyfriend, there is no need to pretend as if you love him.

Break up the relationship with one and stick to the one who loves you more subse­quently marry you.

You will embarrass yourself if you be­come pregnant for your friend again and try to conceal it.

You should know that it is easy to get someone to make love with you for the fun of it but you can hardly get a man who will genuinely love you and perhaps ready to marry you.

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Make a wise decision now because life is full of challenges, surprises and f smart people who are opportunists.

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Obaa Yaa

What happened

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A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.

The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”

The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”

The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”

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Man, “$1000”

The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”

The man silently took the money and left.

CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”

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The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.

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Obaa Yaa

My father claims he was cursed

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I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.

I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.

I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.

Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.

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Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.

I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.

Jojo, USA.

Dear Jojo,

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This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.

If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.

 Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.

Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.

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At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.

If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.

Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.

The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.

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