Obaa Yaa
I cannot date him
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Dear Obaa Yaa
I am 28 years old and it has always been my dream to marry before 30 years.
I met this guy who loves me and I loved him too, but I think I cannot date him.
The guy is so caring, loving and he has all the qualities I need in my future husband.
Unfortunately, l had an affair with his work colleague a year ago. Though, that affair between me and the gentleman has ended, l feel like I cannot continue to date him.
I haven’t told him about the affair because I don’t know how to go about it and I’m scared of how he would react.
We have known each other for months and l feel like telling him but l can’t help myself because it will hurt him so much.
Though l love this gentleman, the fact that I can’t date him kills me slowly. My heart is in pains because I love him and I feel like l have betrayed him.
Please, should I go ahead and tell him?
Lucy, Accra.
****
Dear Lucy,
There is no need crying over spilt milk. You willingly went in for that secret affair despite the fact that you claimed you loved him.
Your behaviour suggests you cannot stand the least pressure in your relationship and this could create serious problems for you.
If you really love him, under no circumstance should you have betrayed his trust. All the same, the harm has already been done but you must make conscious effort not to repeat that mistake.
This is the time for you to redouble your love for him. You need to make sure he plays a centre stage in your life.
What has happened should serve as a warning and a guide throughout your relationship.
Since you can guess his reaction if you should tell him, keep it to yourself and let this serve as a warning and guide for you throughout your relationship.
Obaa Yaa
What happened
A CEO visited his office and saw a man who was scrolling through his phone while sitting on a sofa.
The CEO asked, “What are you doing?”
The man replied, “Wasting my time until I’ll get paid.”
The CEO was furious, “What is your weekly salary!?”
Man, “$1000”
The CEO counted $2000 and gave it to the man, “Take this money and get out! You don’t work here anymore!”
The man silently took the money and left.
CEO walked up to the reception, “By the way, who was this guy?”
The receptionist said, “Pizza delivery”.
Obaa Yaa
My father claims he was cursed
I didn’t understand why my father abandoned me as a child until he appeared recently and told me my mom placed a curse on him.
I was about thirteen or fifteen, my mom took me to the front of a big house and told me that is where I belong.
I knocked the door and the man sacked me from the house to go back to my mother.
Life with my mother was very tough until God came through for me to gain a scholarship.
Years later, I’d returned from abroad when this man walked up to me apologising.
I take care of him and provide him with everything. He needs my attention but I doubt if he will get that from me because he didn’t take care of me.
Jojo, USA.
Dear Jojo,
This is such a heart breaking story. No child deserves to grow up wondering why a parent was absent or feeling abandoned.
If your father’s explanation is true, the responsibility for leaving you still rests with him. A curse, fear, or conflict with your mother may explain his decisions, but it does not excuse abandoning his child.
Parents have a duty to love, protect, and remain present in their children’s lives, regardless of the problems between them.
Now that he has returned, it is reasonable to listen to what he has to say, but you do not have to accept everything without question. Ask him honest questions about why he stayed away for so many years, why he never tried to reach you, and what he hopes to achieve by reconnecting now. His willingness to take responsibility for his choices is more important than the explanation he gives.
At the same time, try not to carry the burden of your parents’ conflict. Whatever happened between them was their issue, not yours. You were an innocent child who deserved the love and presence of both parents.
If you choose to rebuild a relationship with your father, let it happen gradually. Trust is earned through consistent actions, not just words. If you decide not to have a close relationship with him, that is also your right. Forgiveness, if you choose it, should be for your own peace of mind, not because you are obligated to overlook the pain you experienced.
Most importantly, remember that your worth was never determined by your father’s absence. His choices reflect his decisions, not your value as a person.
The past cannot be changed, but how you respond now can help you find healing and peace.




