Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t seem to love me
Dear Obaa Yaa
I am a final year student at the Pentecost University where I met a lady and fell in love with her during my internship.
Though I have expressed my feelings to her, she insists we move our relationship at a steady pace.
Honestly, I am not worried about her suggestion for that approach, so far as the relationship is concerned. Why should I pretend to love and be her friend when my feelings for her are more than that?
Meanwhile, there are moments she wants us to go out and have fun, yet when I make advances towards her, she brushes me aside.
What should I do?
Kofi, Accra.
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Dear Kofi,
I don’t believe you have a problem as your letter explains.
There is nothing wrong to fall in love with this lady and tell her about your feelings.
It is interesting to know that this lady has adopted an intelligent approach of building the friendship gradually.
Note that this relationship could progress into marriage if things go on planned. Do not forget that marriage is a life-long journey which demands you to take the right decision at the right time so that you may not regret in future.
I think her decision to adopt a gradual approach to the relationship will prevent the two of you from taking hasty decisions.
Going out for fun forms part of the gradual approach in a relationship.
Allow her to take a decision at the appropriate time as you do well to also control your feelings.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM a 32-year-old lady who got married two months ago. My husband had a female friend who was very supportive during our marriage.
I appreciate her care and support to my family but it seems she wants to try my patience. During our honeymoon, the lady kept calling my husband to check up on us and it was worse when we came back from honeymoon.
My husband’s attitude has changed drastically and sometimes I wonder if my husband knows I exist at all. I decided to have a talk with my husband about what was going on but he told me he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.
My marriage is just two months but I already have regrets. Obaa Yaa, please help me.
Nana Ama, Nungua.
Dear Ama,
MY dear, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It feels like you are hurt and betrayed by your husband’s behaviour and the woman’s interference in your marriage.
You deserve to be respected and prioritised in your marriage. It’s not ideal for your husband to be giving all his attention to someone else, especially a best friend who is a female.
Talk to your husband again, calmly and clearly, about how you’re feeling. If he still doesn’t listen or respect your views on the matter, then you have to reevaluate the marriage and prioritise your own happiness.
As for the woman, she’s not your problem. Focus on your own relationship and don’t let her actions dictate your emotions. You can’t control her behaviour, but you can control how you respond to it.
Dear Obaa Yaa
I GOT married to a lady from my hometown (name withheld) because tradition does not allow us to marry people from other places. We have been living in Europe for the past six years after marriage, but she is very demanding.
For all these years, anytime my wife gets pregnant, she’ll always tell me she wants to deliver in Ghana so that she can get some help in taking care of the baby. Meanwhile, giving birth in Europe would have been a great benefit to my wife.
However, my wife is currently in Ghana to give birth to our second child and wants to spend about six months. Luckily, her brother disclosed to me about the building projects my wife was handling. That’s how I found out she wants to deliver in Ghana to supervise them. Obaa Yaa, I am confused.
—Enoch, Hamburg
Dear Enoch
I DON’T really understand why your wife is playing smart. From the look of things, both of you are happily married and making memories. The question is, what stops her from telling you that she is building in Ghana and needs your support?
I will suggest that you demand to know from her the source of the money she is using for the projects. Open communication is key to resolving this matter and ensuring trust in your marriage.
