Relationship
Ways to be emotionally available

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PLAY FAIR
If they’re opening up to you, why would it be fair to hold everything back? You’re not being equal with one another. They’re doing all the work in the relationship and you’re just skating by, barely even putting forth an effort.
So if they’ve already bared their heart and soul to you, isn’t it fair you do the same? Emotional connection plays an essential role just as physical connection. If you want to know how to be emotionally available, learn to play fair with them.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
While you can’t fully control your emotions, you can control your actions. You need to take responsibility for your love life and realise that it’s your fault you can’t find love. That may sound harsh, but it might be what you need to tell yourself in order to get over being emotionally unavailable.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself and take accountability of your mistakes. If they feel so far away from you, that’s because you were distant from them first. Now, what are you going to do about this?
If you own up to your own actions and take responsibility for the fact that you remain closed off, it’ll be easier to let go of that part of yourself so you can find love.
BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF
Patience is an important aspect of learning how to be emotionally available. You can’t expect to get it right overnight, but it takes consistency and patience. Relearning how to be open is not an easy thing. Your mind has been so protective of your feelings for so long that it’ll take a while to learn how to open yourself up to others again.
Especially when it’s been your defence mechanism for a while now, it will take a lot of reprogramming and self-awareness to break down your walls to find love.
FACE YOUR FEARS OF VULNERABILITY
Being vulnerable is scary, but you can’t dwell on that fear for the rest of your life. Determine what scares you about opening up to people. Are you scared of getting hurt? Do you fear being taken advantage of or people using your vulnerability against you?
These are the questions you should ask yourself. Facing vulnerability is a scary thing, but it’s necessary for your growth and relationships.
DEVELOP HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS
There are healthy ways to deal with your fear and past trauma, and shutting yourself out from the world is not one of the ways to go. For instance, humour is one example of a healthier approach.
You can try practising mindfulness or meditation to help you stay in the present and understand your emotions. When you feel the tendency to shut off, be aware that you’re feeling that way, but resist the urge to give in.
Final part in subsequent edition
Relationship
…tips for building a good parent-teacher relationship
Having a good relationship with your child’s teacher will make it easier for you to share concerns and work together to help your child thrive. Here are some tips for building a partnership. Here are some tips to help parents build a good relationship with their child’s teacher.
1. Meet with the teacher and staff early
Teachers are usually swamped at the start of the school year. But try to meet as soon as the teacher can. At your first meeting, find out how the teacher prefers to communicate it can be either by phone, email, or some other method.
2. Help the teacher get to know your child.
Sharing information is key to a good parent-teacher relationship. Tell the teacher about your child’s interests, strengths, and challenges. If your child has an special need, make the teacher a aware, and let the him or her know about situations outside of school that might impact your child’s learning or behaviour.
3. Be respectful of the teacher’s time.
Be on time for appointments, whether they are phone calls, video meetings, or parent-teacher conferences. Try to wrap things up within the allotted time. The teacher may have other parents scheduled after you or other meetings and commitments. You can always set up another call to finish up.
4. Recognise the teacher’s efforts.
If you are meeting in the classroom, look for displays of students’ work or teaching materials that you can compliment. If you are somewhere else, start things off with a positive statement, like something your child enjoys about the teacher’s class.
5. Never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child.
Showing your respect for a teacher will set a good example for your child.
6. Participate in school events.
Take part in school events when possible. This shows that you’re part of the school community and want to be supportive. Offer to volunteer in a way that works for you, whether it’s at school or at home on your own time.
7. Say “thank you.”
Show your appreciation for the big or little things the teacher and other staff do for your child. Thank-you notes and emails can go a long way toward building positive relationships.
Relationship
Building trust in relationship, marriage

Trust is the glue that holds relationships and marriages together. Without it, even the strongest bonds can crumble. As a couple navigates the ups and downs of life, trust serves as the foundation upon which their love, commitment, and loyalty are built. But what happens when trust is broken?
How can couples work to rebuild and strengthen this essential component of their relationship?
Trust is not just a feeling; it is a choice. It is a decision to be vulnerable, to be open, and to believe in the goodness of your partner. When trust is present, relationships flourish. Communication becomes easier, conflicts are resolved more efficiently, and intimacy deepens. Trust allows couples to feel secure, to know that they can rely on each other through life’s challenges.
Signs of trust issues
So, how do you know if trust is an issue in your relationship? Look out for these signs:
– Suspicion and jealousy
– Defensiveness and accusations
– Lack of communication or withholding information
– Dishonesty or hiding the truth
– Emotional distance or disconnection
How to build trust
Fortunately, trust can be built and rebuilt. Here are some practical steps couples can take:
1. Communicate openly: Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Be honest, transparent, and open with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires in a respectful and empathetic manner.
2. Be reliable: Follow through on your commitments. Show your partner that you are dependable and responsible.
3. Show vulnerability: Be willing to be vulnerable with your partner. Share your fears, hopes, and dreams with them.
4. Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges and resentments. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful behaviour, but rather releasing the negative emotions associated with it.
5. Cultivate intimacy: Intimacy is not just physical; it’s also emotional. Make time for regular date nights, meaningful conversations, and affectionate gestures.
Rebuilding Trust
If trust has been broken, it is essential to work on rebuilding it. This process takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps to take:
1. Acknowledge the hurt: Recognise the pain caused by the breach of trust. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate their experience.
2. Identify the cause: Understand the reasons behind the breach of trust. Is it a lack of communication, infidelity, or something else? Identifying the root cause can help you address the issue more effectively.
3. Work together: Rebuilding trust requires a joint effort. Work together to establish new patterns of behaviour, communicate openly, and rebuild intimacy.
4. Seek help: If needed, seek the help of a couples therapist or counsellor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work to rebuild trust. Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) can be helpful in that vein.
Building trust in a relationship or marriage takes work, commitment, and patience. It is a journey that requires effort from both partners. By communicating openly, being reliable, showing vulnerability, practicing forgiveness, and cultivating intimacy, couples can strengthen their bond and build a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. Remember, trust is not something that can be demanded; it is something that must be earned and nurtured. With time, effort, and dedication, couples can build a strong, trusting relationship that brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment to their lives.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI (Lecturer, Published Author, and Marriage Counsellor).




