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Waakye Girl- Part 2
She called him three weeks later. “David, I’m afraid things have not improved, a few days after we spoke, I went to him when he was preparing for bed, and told him that I had problems with his late hours, with his manner of speaking with me, and with the beatings.
He gave me a very nasty reply, he asked me to go and ask my father if he does not beat my mother when she misbehaves, and reminded me that in our town beating is the accepted means of disciplining your wife.
If I did not want him to beat me, then I should behave myself, and he concluded that many girls from my hometown would be happy to be living with a graduate like him.
The next day, he slapped me because I asked about a girl who had come to the house to ask of him. I went and complained to my parents, and they came to the house. He was drunk, and he was very rude to them.
He asked my father if he never beat his wife, and advised him to take me away if he did not agree to the discipline he is enforcing in his home. He started raining insults, and my dad warned him that if he spoke one more word of insult, he would rather discipline him, and he kept quiet.”
“Ah, so he fears something, great. Let’s see if the fear of your dad will get him to behave himself. But Stella, allow me to say this, you are a very beautiful girl, and I believe you have a great future ahead of you.
If your man has made it so clear what he would do to you in future, perhaps it would be a good idea to leave the relationship and get a good education. You already have a good WASSCE certificate, there are university courses for working people, even if you continue the relationship, and I suggest that you pursue education as a priority. I will share some information on university courses with you, and encourage you to follow up.”
“Thank God I spoke with you, David, I will take this up very seriously. I have always been interested in the accounting profession. Next time we talk, the story will be much different.” Stella, her two sisters and their parents were halfway through dinner.
“Papa,” she started softly but firmly, “I have to let you know that the relationship with Aperkeh is virtually over. It cannot work, so I am thinking of moving out as soon as possible. He slaps me anytime he thinks I have provoked him, and this provocation is just because I complain about his late hours, and his drinking.
In the last couple of weeks two girls have come to the house to look for him. In the last case I asked the girl what she wanted from him, and she said it was none of my business, and I said in that case I would not allow her to see him. He heard us arguing, and he came out, walked the girl a little further, and gave her money.
But what gets me most is the insults. He often says that he is not married to me, so I should go back to my parents’ house if I could not stay in his house on his terms. He and his friends derisively call me ‘Waakye Girl’, as if I have done something wrong by assisting my parents to run what is certainly a decent business.”
“My daughter’’, Mama started, “we certainly sympathise with the problem you are facing. Aperkeh has no right to hit you or insult you, and I am sure your father will go and speak to him again, and speak to his parents if necessary.
We approved of the relationship because, as we have said often, we are from the same village, and our two families go back a long way. We and his parents sat down to agree to the relationship, and we have been waiting for them to come and do the formalities to make you his wife. So what he is doing is very unfortunate.
But please note, Stella, that relationships sometimes start with difficulties, which are overcome in the course of time. He must undertake never to lay his hands on you again. I’m sure your dad will go and advise him on this, and if he proves difficult we will go and see his parents. But please, Stella, exercise a little patience, and allow us to make peace.”
“Stella”, her elder sister Nancy cut in, “I fully support what Mama is saying. There are problems in every relationship. As you know, my husband Robert was a drunkard with a gun in his mouth, always shooting insults. Yet thankfully, all that has changed, and we are now making progress. Please allow us to fix the problem. It will be okay.”
“My daughter”, Papa said, “I certainly sympathise with your situation. At this time, you and Aperkeh should be acquiring the basic necessities and preparing to start a family. The path he has embarked on is a destructive one. He may have fallen into bad company. He must be cautioned to straighten up quickly before it is too late. I will go there, tomorrow, and speak with him, and if necessary I will sit down with his father. This nonsense must stop. So don’t take any action that we will all regret later.
Allow me to sort things out. It is very unfortunate for him to try to justify his behaviour with the claim that in the past men beat their partner so he is justified for hitting you. He must be checked. I will go there and speak with him this evening.”
“Papa”, Patricia said, “we will go with you. When he sees all of us he will know we are serious about checking his behaviour. Stella, hold fire just a little and go back. You know the problems I have had with Ben. He is changing, and these days he even takes the kids to school and brings them back. All will be well.” “Okay”, Stella noted. “I will expect you tomorrow evening, and I hope your intervention works.”
Papa, Mama and the two girls went to the house the next evening and sat from six to nine, and were getting up to leave when Aperkeh drove in, parked the car, greeted and joined them. Fortunately, he was quite sober.
“Aperkeh”, Papa started, “we have waited for some time, and were about to leave. It’s late so I will cut the niceties and get straight to the point. I’m sure you know why we are here. My daughter tells me that things are not going so well in your relationship.
You know that before Stella joined you here, the two parents sat and agreed and gave our blessing to your relationship. We were expecting you to come and go through the formalities in due course. So what is happening now, if true, is unfortunate.
But let me hear from you, what problems you are having with my daughter, so that I ensure that the right thing is done.”
“Well, the main problem is her disrespect. She is very disrespectful and controlling. She confronts me every time I come home, demanding to know where I have been, and why I am late.
And she fights anyone who comes to see me. I have the right to receive visitors, and I don’t understand why she should prevent people from coming to see me. So I told her that if she does not want to live here on my terms then she should go back to her parents.”
“Aperkeh, I don’t think your last statement is right. Even though she is not legally your wife, according to our traditional custom she is your wife, because her parents and your parents sat down and approved of it.
You and Stella both stood before us and said you would enter into this relationship. So you should watch your words. But first, Stella, let me first ask you your response to the accusations he has made.”
“Papa, I have not confronted or fought him over anything. He regularly comes home after 10, most of the time drunk, and very often he does not eat the food I prepare for him. I usually wait till the next day, and try to tell him that he is too young to behave like this, and he responds by slapping me.
And I have a problem with girls coming here to see him, sometimes to collect money. Certainly, I don’t agree with this. Should I sit here and watch girls come and collect money from him? Can a young man at his level afford such a lifestyle?”
“Aperkeh, I think Stella’s concerns are valid. She is advising you to stop drinking, the late hours and what she fears are the beginning of relationships with girls. I am only here to make peace. If you think there is something you can do about her concerns, let’s make peace, so that you get on with the life ahead of you.
Or I can go and sit down with your father, who is virtually my brother, so that we solve the problem together.”
“There is no need to bring my father in this”, Aperkeh declared. “I have told her that I will not sit in my own house and allow her to control me. She either stays here on my terms, or she leaves.”
“If I get you correctly’, the elderly man said as he rose, “you want to be free to go out every evening and come home drunk, and to entertain girls here whilst she, the woman given to you by your own parents, looks on. Is that what you are saying?”
“Well, you are free to interpret it anyway you like. I have already said what I have said. She either stays here on my terms and conditions, or she gets out.”
“Okay, I get you. We are going. I’m taking my daughter away, now. Before going home I will stop by your parents’ home and tell them what transpired here. I am sure they will advise you on what to do.”
“You are free to do what you like. My parents cannot dictate for me. I am a grown man.”
Without warning, the elderly man turned to him and gave him a hefty slap which sent him crashing to the floor. He managed to stand, shocked as Stella and her family walked away.
By Ekow de Heer
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THE state of feeling rejected, could be a terrifying experience especially for those who have become used to fame. If not properly addressed, it could lead to depression and the consequences, could be disastrous.
When you are on top of your game in whatever profession you find yourself such that you become famous, a lot of people try to associate with you. The phone never ceases to ring and one is tempted to feel loved and very important.
When a disaster strikes and the fame or the money which was the source of the attraction fades away, the circle of friends and fans begin to shrink and the phone will start to stop ringing until the call stops voting completely.
You will be shocked at how people you considered friends, will no longer be calling you or pay casual visits as they used to. You will begin to notice that messages you leave after calling them and not getting a response are not replied to and that is when you begin to know who your true friends are.
One of the most popular movie stars was an actress called Sharon Stone. In an interview with one of the media houses that was published, she spoke about how people who should have come around to encourage her in her moment of depression, shunned her. The calls stopped coming.
This is what the Bible admonishes that the arm of flesh will fail you and therefore we should put our trust in God. It could be a very frightening experience and can easily lead to depression.
Human nature being what it is, people will want to get close if things are okay. Everybody wants to associate themselves with interesting things, famous people, rich people etc for mainly selfish reasons.
We need to develop the habit of putting our trust in God and relying less on human beings. The lesson we have to take along in life is that, no one marries his or her enemy so how come people who took vows that they will love each other become so hostile to each other that they want to go their separate ways in life? Such is the reality of life.
It is therefore prudent for people to recognise that, life is full of uncertainties and so there is the need to prepare your mind for uncertainties so that when they occur, they do not disorganise your mental sanity.
A lot of people have experienced situations where people who they could have sworn will never betray their trust have disappointed them when they were through challenging moments.
If there is one thing famous people should desire, it should be the ability to identify who are true friends are. Countless stories abound regarding incidence of celebrities who have lost their shine and their wives divorcing them soon after.
It is sometimes useful as a famous or rich person to sign a prenuptial agreement before marriage to safeguard or protect yourself from any future unpleasant surprises.
People can be very pretentious these days, it goes both ways. There is this real life story where a man married a divorced wealthy woman and convinced her to sell her house so they could build a new one together, with the excuse that people are gossiping that he is being housed by a woman.
The woman agreed and they put up a new building. After a few years the man asked for a divorce, only for the woman to realise that the land on which the building was situated, was bought in the man’s name.
This can drive a person insane, if you are not mentally tough and this happens to you. When people hear that you are homeless, a lot of your so-called friends will stop calling, so that you do not become a burden on them.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
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‘But, er …. I don’t even know your name’.
‘Paul. Paul Allotey. I’m Sarah, by the way. Paul, why don’t you leave me here, since this is the last important thing I’m doing today’.
‘Okay. Now Sarah. I was just thinking. You will be here at the cafe for about an hour. By then it will be about twelve thirty. Then, you would be thinking of buying yourself some lunch, to eat here or to take home. So if you would please allow me, I will take you to one of the nicest eating places in town, and after you have sorted that one out, then I can drop you home. Just that one errand, then I won’t bother you again’.
‘You are not bothering me at all. You are being very kind to me. And I just realised you are a mind reader too. The last item on my agenda was lunch’.
‘I’m so glad I appeared at your doorstep, just in time’.
‘Okay. Now Paul, since you say the cafe is a comfortable place, let’s go in together, and you can do your work while I get my application done’.
‘Okay, Sarah. Thanks. Let’s go’.
We got back in the car at eleven forty-five.
‘So where are we going, Paul?’
‘To Royalty restaurant. It’s a twenty minute drive away’.
‘So, do you enjoy your job?’
‘Most certainly. I won’t change it, not even to be President. And am I right to say that you are preparing to enter the university?’
‘That’s my plan. I hope it works’.
‘It will, if you are determined, and disciplined. You look very much like a disciplined person’.
‘Thank you very much’.
We arrived at Royalty in twenty-five minutes, ‘You are joining me for lunch, Paul’.
‘Thanks for the honour, Sarah. But the bill is on me’.
‘Aren’t you taking on too much for one day?’
‘I never do anything that is bigger than me, Sarah’.
Over the next hour and a half, we discussed fashion, local and international politics, and sports, as we ate and relaxed. Finally, he drove me to the shop.
‘I will never forget you, Paul’.
‘I’m glad to have been helpful. But if you don’t mind, I’ll say it again, your husband is extremely lucky. You are really beautiful’.
‘Thanks again. But do you mind if I call you sometime in the future?’
‘Certainly not. Let me write it here. I will not ask for your number, for obvious reasons. But I will be looking forward to hearing from you. And hopefully, I will see you next month, when I call to drop your bill’.
‘Okay Paul. See you then’. What a lovely day, I said to myself as I opened the front door. I closed the shop and got home by seven. I went straight to the bedroom, stood in the mirror and took a good look at myself. ‘You are a very beautiful woman, Sarah. Never forget that’. I will not forget that, again.
Over the next several weeks, Martin and I had very little to do with each other. In the morning he ate his breakfast and after a shabby ‘I’m going’, he left. He came home around eight at the earliest, ate his dinner and, already soaked in beer, went off to sleep.
He spent the greater part of the weekends at the club house with his friends, playing tennis and partying. My mind was focused on furthering my education, so I didn’t complain to him, and didn’t bother to inform my parents about what was happening. I had decided that I would only take action if he lifted his hand against me again. I spent my free time reading all manner of interesting stuff on the internet, and chatting with my sister on WhatsApp.
One evening, he came home at about eight, rushed to the bedroom and rushed out. An envelope, obviously containing money, dropped out of his pocket, and I picked it up and followed him. I was going to call him and give it to him, but I noticed that there was a young woman in the car, so I went back in, counted it and put it in a drawer in the hall. He came back after some ten minutes.
‘Excuse me, I dropped an envelope containing money. You must have seen it’.
‘Yes, I saw it. Actually, I followed you, and was about to call you and hand it over to you when I realised that there was a woman in the car, so I came back in. I counted it. One thousand cedis.
‘Well let me have it. I have to be going’.
‘I will let you have it if you will tell me who the woman in the car is, and why you are going to give her that amount of money’.
‘Listen, if you waste my time, I will teach you a lesson you will never forget. Give me the money now!’
‘Here’s what we will do, Martin. I know you will give money to her anyway, so I will give it to you, if you will withdraw the threat you just issued. But I want you to know that I will be taking some steps from tomorrow. Things are getting out of hand’.
‘Okay, I’m sorry I threatened you. Can you please give me the money’. I handed it over to him, and he ran out’.
The following morning, I waited for him to finish having breakfast, and told him I wanted to have a word with him urgently.
‘You better be quick. You know I’m going to work’.
‘Well, I want to inform you that I will inform my parents, and your parents, about the situation in this house. As I said yesterday, things are getting out of hand. You spend most of your time drinking. You get drunk every evening, and through the weekend. And you are also spending your time and money on a prostitute’.
‘How dare you? One more stupid word from you …’
‘Am I lying, Martin? You have just started life, yet you are behaving like a rich, elderly man who has already seen his children through university, and can afford a life of fun. As I said, I’m going to inform our parents. Maybe your parents can straighten you out before it is too late’.
‘Look, we can talk this evening. It’s nothing like what you are saying’. He walked away, shocked.
That evening, I was expecting to have a meaningful discussion with him, but his mother called early in the evening to offer me some ‘advice’. Her son had called to say that certain developments at home were disturbing him so much that they were beginning to affect his work.
And, ‘as a loving mother to her daughter’, she was advising me to submit to my husband, and support him in prayer, and not ‘drive him from home’. Men would always be men, and she was telling me ‘from experience’ that no matter how much time Martin stayed away from home, he would always come home to me.
She had been a young wife before, so she understood the challenges I was facing. So I could be assured that if I followed her advice, all would be well. And, of course, she didn’t allow me to tell my side of the story.
Martin came home very late, and very drunk. And from the next morning, he carried on as before. With some hesitation, I called my dad and told him all that had gone on.
‘Well, my daughter. I’m not going to say “I told you so”. I was only trying to protect you. So here’s what we’ll do. Continue doing the best you can, and try not to give him any excuse to harm you, but if things continue to deteriorate, I will take you back.
A couple of days later, my cousin Dinah arrived in Accra from Brussels, having completed her medical course. With Martin’s agreement, I went to Koforidua and spent a couple of days. I spent most of the time chatting about her experiences in the US, but we also discussed my relationship with Martin, and she endorsed Dad’s decision to take action if Martin’s behaviour did not change after two weeks Elaine informed Mom and Dad. We endorsed Dad’s decision to take action if there was no change in two weeks.
Dinah returned with me to Takoradi. Her plan was to spend a couple of weeks, and return to Accra to be posted. I called Paul Allotey, and asked if he would meet her for lunch and, if possible, show her some interesting spots. Delighted, he suggested that we meet at Royalty the next day.
I told Martin about it, to remove any possibility of future disagreement over ‘going out with men’.
‘It’s fine with me’, he said, ‘if, of all the people who could show your sister round this town, you chose a borla man. Doesn’t that indicate the kind of person you are?’
‘ First of all, Martin’, I’ve spoken to him a few times, and he comes across as a decent guy, so I think it is rather unfortunate that you are writing him off when you don’t know him’.
By Ekow de Heer
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