Relationship
…Tips to making new friends as an adult
Good friends are worth so much. Few things in life are more important than supportive, close friends. Looking back at the friends that have come and gone in it is appropriate to appreciate how important friends are in one’s life.
However, it can leave a lot of us wondering how to make friends as an adult. While it can be challenging to meet new people you truly connect with as an adult, everyone craves for social connection at some point, and it is important to make that connection happen.
Here are some tips to help make friends
1. Take initiative
If you find people around you, you don’t need to wait for anyone to reach out to you and take the first step. Instead, become a kind initiator even if you are an introvert.
Start talking to a person and share something about yourself. Likewise, let them share about themselves. There’s no need to be so personal at the very first interaction, but exchange a few words or stories that can break the ice.
2. Join a new club or organisation
Get involved in an activity that matters to you, where you are likely to meet others with similar values and interests. You will have something to connect over and some of these relationships might become long-lasting friendships with time.
3. Show that you are friendly
A person that has friends must show themselves to be friendly. I often help my patients understand that you must be that which you seek. What qualities are important to you in ‘a friend’? Make sure that you are exemplifying those.
4. Do not look for similarities
If you do not share a similar vision and hobbies with someone, it does not mean you cannot develop a friendship.
A true friend is like a deep ocean who observes all the flaws of another person. Therefore, do not judge someone if he or she belongs to a different mindset. Not doing so will allow you to make new friends.
5. Be a good listener
If you notice your attention wandering when someone is talking, try to bring it back to what they are saying, If you are listening well, others will feel respected, understood, and warm up to you. – Source: parade.com
Navigating social media boundaries as a couple can be tricky. With constant access to each other’s lives online, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship. Here are practical tips to help couples manage social media use effectively.
1. Have an Open and Honest Conversation
The first step is to talk openly with your partner about social media usage and how it affects your relationship. Honest conversations may feel challenging, but they are essential for understanding each other’s perspectives and setting mutually acceptable boundaries.
2. Be Specific
When discussing boundaries, be clear about the behaviors that bother you and the limits you’d like to set. For example, instead of saying, “You spend too much time on social media,” try:
“I feel neglected when you are on your phone for extended periods during our conversations. Can we set a limit on phone usage during quality time together?”
3. Be Considerate
Consider and respect your partner’s viewpoint. Setting boundaries is not about controlling each other; it’s about creating balance and fostering trust in the relationship. The goal is to maintain connection without letting social media interfere with your bond.
4. Agree on Social Media Etiquette
Social media etiquette guidelines can help couples define what is and isn’t acceptable online behavior. Discuss whether you will follow each other, what kinds of photos you’ll post, and how you will interact with others online. Clear guidelines help prevent misunderstandings and maintain respect.
5. Respect Each Other’s Privacy
Respecting privacy is crucial. Avoid snooping on your partner’s accounts, sharing personal information without consent, or posting photos or updates that may make them uncomfortable. Trust and respect form the foundation of a healthy digital relationship.
6. Don’t Use Social Media as a Measure of Your Relationship
Remember that social media often shows a curated “highlight reel” of other people’s relationships. Avoid comparing your relationship to these selective portrayals. Every relationship is unique, with its own challenges and successes. Focus on what makes your bond special rather than online comparisons.
Conclusion
Setting boundaries on social media is key to nurturing a healthy, happy relationship. Open communication, mutual respect, agreed-upon etiquette, and avoiding comparison with others online are all vital steps in maintaining intimacy and trust in the digital age.
Source: Arkansas Relationship Counselling Centre
In the realm of romantic relationships, vulnerability and openness are often misconstrued as signs of weakness. However, research in psychology and relationship counselling suggests that embracing vulnerability can be a powerful catalyst for deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening bonds.
The Power of Vulnerability
Vulnerability involves sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires with our partner, making us susceptible to potential hurt or rejection. Yet, it is precisely this openness that allows us to build trust, foster empathy, and create a sense of safety in our relationships.
When couples prioritise vulnerability, they often experience a profound shift in their relationship dynamics. For instance, a couple I counselled, who were struggling to connect after a recent move, found that sharing their fears and anxieties with each other helped them rebuild their emotional intimacy. By being open about their struggles, they were able to support each other and strengthen their bond.
Benefits of Vulnerability and Openness
- Deeper understanding: By sharing our thoughts and feelings, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our partner.
- Increased empathy: When we are open about our struggles, our partner is more likely to respond with compassion and support.
- Resilience: Vulnerability helps us develop coping mechanisms and learn to navigate challenges together.
- Authentic connection: By being our authentic selves, we create a sense of mutual understanding and connection.
Cultivating Vulnerability in Relationships
So, how can we cultivate vulnerability in our relationships? Here are some practical tips:
- Start small: Begin by sharing your thoughts and feelings in low-stakes situations, like discussing a book or movie. As you become more comfortable, you can gradually share more personal aspects of yourself.
- Practice active listening: When your partner shares their vulnerabilities, respond with empathy and understanding. This helps create a safe space for open communication.
- Be present: Focus on the present moment and try to let go of distractions. This allows you to stay engaged and responsive to your partner’s needs.
- Show appreciation: Express gratitude for your partner’s vulnerability and celebrate their courage in sharing their thoughts and feelings.
In many successful relationships, couples have reported that regular “check-ins” or meaningful conversations help them stay connected and build a stronger bond. By prioritising vulnerability and openness, these couples are able to address life’s challenges together, fostering a deeper sense of connection and intimacy.
Vulnerability and openness are essential components of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. By embracing these qualities, we can build stronger, more resilient bonds with our partners. As we navigate the complexities of relationships, let us remember that vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength that can bring us closer to ourselves and our loved ones.
To be continued…
Source: Excerpts from “COURTSHIP MATTERS: Keys to a Fulfilling Lasting Marriage” by Rev. Counselor Prince Offei (Lecturer, Published Author, Mental Health Professional, and Marriage Counsellor).
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