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Marriage is a lifelong commitment

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Marriage is a lifelong commit­ment; God joins the husband and wife together and only death will disjoin them. Commitment is not a ‘sexy’ word or concept; but it probably has more to do with making marriages work than anything else.

It is not just about saying marriage vows nor having a piece of paper that says ‘marriage license.’ Commitment is important because we act differ­ently when we know that our futures are tied together.

You may dodge a difficult conver­sation if you are aware that your time with that person is limited. In the face of growing discontent or your partner’s behaviour becoming increas­ingly irritating, you may decide to end the relationship and search for a new love that brings joy and fulfill­ment.

However, commitment means you have promised to stay and work it through, not just today but forever. Commitment is a choice to give up choices. Although this might at first sound limiting, it actually brings great freedom and depth.

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No longer does the committed person need to weigh which person or way of life will bring more happiness. Once committed, all one’s energy goes into making this commitment work.

No longer are other possibilities a distraction. The two major stages of commitment are making the initial commitment and keeping the com­mitment.

Marriage as a lifelong commitment also implies that you love your spouse enough to make a decision to stay married “until death do us part.” In other words, divorce is not an option in your mind.

At some point, a husband and wife need to ‘decide’ to love—even when they do not feel like it. Lifetime commitment is an understanding that marriage is created by God and it is meant to be permanent.

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Jesus Christ reiterated the perma­nence of marriage. Matthew 19:3-6 (NIV) says:

“Some Pharisees came to Him to test Him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. There­fore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

In the above passage, Jesus is con­fronted by the Pharisees, who aim to test his views on divorce. They ask if it is permissible for a man to divorce his wife for any reason, hoping to trap Jesus into contradicting the Law.

However, Jesus cleverly redi­rects their attention to the creation account in Genesis, highlighting God’s original design for marriage. Jesus emphasises that marriage is a divine union, instituted by God, where a man and woman become one flesh. This union is not merely a human contract but a sacred bond ordained by the Creator.

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By citing Genesis 2:24, Jesus underscores the permanence of this union, emphasising that the two become one flesh, no longer separate entities.

By saying, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not sep­arate,” Jesus affirms that marriage is a lifelong commitment, sanctified by God’s divine hand.

He is not merely addressing the Pharisees’ question about divorce but rather upholding the sacredness and indissolubility of marriage.

In the passage, Jesus:

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a. Affirms God’s creation design for marriage (Genesis 2:24)

b. Emphasises the unity and one­ness of marriage (becoming one flesh)

c. Highlights the divine origin and sanctioning of marriage (what God has joined together)

d. Implies the permanence and indissolubility of marriage (let no one separate)

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Marriage is a commitment you make for life. It is a permanent lifelong relationship. Understanding marriage as a lifelong commitment even when it is hard and painful is the biblical understanding of marriage.

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCI­ATES CONSULT (CPAC)  

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…Tips on healthy eating for children during holidays

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 During the holidays, it is important for children to enjoy it and indulge in holiday treats while maintaining healthy eating habits and making balanced choices.

Setting children up for healthy eating during the holidays is an excellent way to begin building their holiday eating habits as they grow into adults.

Here are some tips to help parents and guardians ensure healthy eating habits for children during the holidays.

  1. Be a role model.

Parents and caregivers play an essential role in influencing children’s eating habits. Offer children the same balanced meal you cook for yourself and other adults. Avoid making negative comments about food or the meal and keep mealtimes.

Keep to a consistent schedule.

A routine schedule can help minimise grazing and boredom eating. Try to offer three balanced meals and set snack times. Do not offer an alternative to the meal you plan to make for the family. But if your child does not like what is provided, don’t force them to eat if they are uninterested. Let them know that if they are hungry later, they can eat what was offered.

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Involve your children in meal prep.

Focus on balanced meals that include vegetables, lean proteins and complex carbohydrates.

Make healthy swaps.

Consider making healthy swaps, such as using whole wheat flour, offering whole fruits, reducing the sugar in baked goods, and limiting added sugars, especially from sugar-sweetened beverages like hot chocolate and eggnog. Consider making your beverages at home to reduce and control the amount of added sugar.

Encourage active play.

Make the holidays a time to engage in family activities. Take family hikes, spend a day at the beach or the bay, or enjoy a stroll in the neighborhood or a local park. These activities can help improve appetite and relieve boredom.

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Till death do us part? The changing face of marriage, divorce in Ghana

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Marriage has long been celebrated as a lifelong union built on love, commitment and mutual support. Across Ghana, wedding ceremonies continue to bring families together with the hope that couples will remain together “till death do us part.” Yet, behind the colourful ceremonies and joyful celebrations, an increasing number of marriages are ending in separation and divorce, reflecting the changing realities of modern family life.

According to the 2021 Population and Housing Census, about 42.9 per cent of Ghanaians aged 12 years and above are married, while 4.8 per cent are divorced and 3.5 per cent are separated, indicating that marital dissolution affects thousands of families across the country.

These figures suggest that although marriage remains a cherished institution, divorce has become a growing social reality.

For Ama, a 38-year-old businesswoman in Accra, divorce was never part of her plans. “We loved each other deeply when we got married,” she recalled. “But after years of constant arguments, financial pressure and poor communication, we realised we were hurting each other more than helping each other.” After ten years of marriage and two children, Ama and her husband decided to divorce. Her experience mirrors that of many Ghanaian couples who begin their marriages with hope but later struggle to overcome life’s pressures.

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Marriage counsellor, Mr Patrick J. Tengey explained that poor communication remains one of the leading causes of marital breakdown. “When couples stop talking and listening to each other, unresolved disagreements gradually become resentment,” he said. He added that financial difficulties, unemployment, infidelity, domestic violence, substance abuse and unrealistic expectations continue to place enormous strain on marriages.

His observations are supported by research conducted by psychologists Joseph Osafo, Kwaku Oppong Asante, Charlotte Asantewaa Ampomah and Annabella Osei-Tutu of the University of Ghana. Their study, which analysed divorce cases from courts in the Greater Accra Region, identified infidelity, financial problems, abuse, lack of intimacy, third-party interference and conflicts over gender roles as the major factors contributing to divorce in Ghana.

Marriage counsellor, Grace Mensah, believes many broken marriages could have been saved if couples sought professional help earlier. “Communication, trust and conflict resolution are skills that must be learned,” she said. “Unfortunately, many couples only seek counselling after the relationship has already reached a crisis.” The emotional and financial consequences of divorce often extend beyond the couple themselves.

Mrs Ofosu, a resident at Bohye, explained that children frequently experience anxiety, emotional distress and academic difficulties following their parents’ separation. “Children deserve stability,” she said.

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“Even when divorce becomes necessary, parents must continue working together for their children’s welfare.”

Family lawyer, Evans Nii, noted that many divorce cases involve disputes over child custody, maintenance and property distribution.

He explained that under Ghana’s Matrimonial Causes Act, 1971 (Act 367), the court may grant a divorce only when it is satisfied that the marriage has broken down beyond reconciliation.

The law also considers issues such as adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion and prolonged separation when determining whether a marriage has irretrievably broken down.

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He further explained that Article 22 of the 1992 Constitution protects the property rights of spouses during and after marriage, while the Children’s Act, 1998 (Act 560) requires that the best interests of the child remain the court’s primary consideration in custody decisions.

Religious leaders continue to encourage forgiveness, patience and reconciliation where possible. However, many acknowledge that marriages characterised by persistent domestic violence or abuse require immediate intervention to protect victims.

 Experts believe strengthening marriages requires both personal commitment and institutional support.

Premarital counselling, relationship education, financial planning and accessible counselling services, they say, can help couples navigate the challenges of married life before problems become overwhelming.

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French-American journalist, Mignon McLaughlin, once observed that, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche similarly argued that “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Their words continue to resonate with many relationship experts who believe lasting marriages depend on continuous effort rather than romantic feelings alone.

As Ghanaian society evolves, so too do expectations surrounding marriage. While divorce may sometimes provide safety and a fresh beginning for those trapped in abusive or unhealthy relationships, many experts believe stronger communication, mutual respect and timely counselling can help preserve marriages that might otherwise end in separation.

Ultimately, the promise of “till death do us part” remains a cherished ideal. Whether that promise becomes reality may depend not only on love, but also on patience, understanding, shared responsibility and the willingness of couples to grow together through life’s changing seasons.

By Sandra Obeng

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