Relationship
Marriage is a lifelong commitment
Marriage is a lifelong commitment; God joins the husband and wife together and only death will disjoin them. Commitment is not a ‘sexy’ word or concept; but it probably has more to do with making marriages work than anything else.
It is not just about saying marriage vows nor having a piece of paper that says ‘marriage license.’ Commitment is important because we act differently when we know that our futures are tied together.
You may dodge a difficult conversation if you are aware that your time with that person is limited. In the face of growing discontent or your partner’s behaviour becoming increasingly irritating, you may decide to end the relationship and search for a new love that brings joy and fulfillment.
However, commitment means you have promised to stay and work it through, not just today but forever. Commitment is a choice to give up choices. Although this might at first sound limiting, it actually brings great freedom and depth.
No longer does the committed person need to weigh which person or way of life will bring more happiness. Once committed, all one’s energy goes into making this commitment work.
No longer are other possibilities a distraction. The two major stages of commitment are making the initial commitment and keeping the commitment.
Marriage as a lifelong commitment also implies that you love your spouse enough to make a decision to stay married “until death do us part.” In other words, divorce is not an option in your mind.
At some point, a husband and wife need to ‘decide’ to love—even when they do not feel like it. Lifetime commitment is an understanding that marriage is created by God and it is meant to be permanent.
Jesus Christ reiterated the permanence of marriage. Matthew 19:3-6 (NIV) says:
“Some Pharisees came to Him to test Him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
In the above passage, Jesus is confronted by the Pharisees, who aim to test his views on divorce. They ask if it is permissible for a man to divorce his wife for any reason, hoping to trap Jesus into contradicting the Law.
However, Jesus cleverly redirects their attention to the creation account in Genesis, highlighting God’s original design for marriage. Jesus emphasises that marriage is a divine union, instituted by God, where a man and woman become one flesh. This union is not merely a human contract but a sacred bond ordained by the Creator.
By citing Genesis 2:24, Jesus underscores the permanence of this union, emphasising that the two become one flesh, no longer separate entities.
By saying, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate,” Jesus affirms that marriage is a lifelong commitment, sanctified by God’s divine hand.
He is not merely addressing the Pharisees’ question about divorce but rather upholding the sacredness and indissolubility of marriage.
In the passage, Jesus:
a. Affirms God’s creation design for marriage (Genesis 2:24)
b. Emphasises the unity and oneness of marriage (becoming one flesh)
c. Highlights the divine origin and sanctioning of marriage (what God has joined together)
d. Implies the permanence and indissolubility of marriage (let no one separate)
Marriage is a commitment you make for life. It is a permanent lifelong relationship. Understanding marriage as a lifelong commitment even when it is hard and painful is the biblical understanding of marriage.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC)
Parenting teens can be challenging. But it can also be a joy. The key is to know how to care for yourself, first and foremost. Before you have children, you might think that parenting will come naturally. And, to some degree, it does. But there are days (and sometimes months and years) when all parents could use some extra support.
Last week we looked at some four simple yet powerful approaches for parenting teens that build strong relationships for the long-run. Here are the remaining two:
4: Keep communication going
Because we are often busy and distracted, we do not always take the time to really focus on our kids when they’re trying to tell us something. Take advantage of the time you have together. Having dinner together as a family, using car time to talk, or chatting before bed are good ways to stay in daily touch with your teen. Prioritise quality time as well as quantity: Consider having breakfast out on the weekend as a special catch-up time to chat about the week. Or schedule monthly “family meetings” to discuss how things have been going and any conflicts that have arisen.
5. Be an empathetic listener
Listening with empathy and caring is one of the most important tips on parenting a teenager. Researchers have shown that people’s brain patterns synchronise when they listen closely to one another and watch each other’s expressions. As a result, the connection between them becomes stronger. Not feeling truly heard can lead to isolation and lack of self-esteem which are the root causes of anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. Therefore, take listening seriously. It’s not just a way of coping with teenagers; it has an enormous impact on their well-being.
The price of ‘I do’: Why money honesty is the real marriage insurance –Part 2
She did not find out he was cheating. She found out he was drowning.
It was two weeks after their beautiful wedding. The jollof was still in the fridge. A loan officer called her number-not his-and politely asked, “Madam, please tell your husband to pay his overdue loan. We have been calling him.”
That was how she discovered her new husband had entered their marriage with a hidden debt of over GH¢ 40,000. No cheating. No other woman. Just a financial secret.
And that is how many Ghanaian marriages begin to die. Not with a shout, but with a secret alert on a phone.
We prepare for the wedding. We do not prepare for the wallet.
What is money honesty?
Let me define it simply. Money honesty is not that you both earn the same. It is that you both know the same. It is the ability to sit down and say without fear:
“This is how much I earn.”
“This is how much I owe.”
“This is how I was raised to see money.”
“This is what scares me about money.”
Financial transparency is not about control. It is about clarity. You cannot build trust on top of secrets.
Many couples tell me, “Counsellor, we love each other, love will handle money.” I always answer, “Love is the car, but money honesty is the fuel. Love without honesty cannot move.”
How To Buy Your Marriage Insurance Today – My 5-Step Protocol
If you are engaged, newly married, or even 20 years in marriage, you can still fix this. At Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, this is what I give couples:
Step 1: The 90-Minute Money Naked Session.
No phones, no blame. Each partner writes down on paper: Monthly income, monthly debts, monthly family obligations, savings, and your biggest money fear. Then you exchange papers. Read it. Don’t react for 24 hours. Just absorb.
Step 2: Create OUR Money, YOUR Money, My Money.
You need three pots. OUR money for rent, food, school fees, utilities, properties, and the like— joint contribution. YOUR money and MY money—a small agreed allowance no one questions. This stops the feeling of being controlled.
Step 3: The No-Secret Debt Rule.
Agree from today: No new loan, no new hire purchase, no new family financial commitment above GHS 500 without telling each other first. Not permission, but information.
Step 4: Talk About Your Money Personality.
Are you a Spender or a Saver? Are you Risky or Safe? Most Ghanaian marriages are a Spender married to a Saver. Neither is wrong. But if you don’t understand your partner’s personality, you will call his saving “stinginess” and her spending “wastefulness.”
Step 5: Do a Monthly 30-Minute Money Date
Not an argument date. Light, with tea. “How did we do this month? What worried you? What should we plan for next month?” Couples who do this divorce far less.
My Final Word
Before you say “I Do” at the altar, have pre-marital counselling and also have the money talk on the sofa.
Ask your partner:
“If I lost my job today, how long can we survive?”
“What debt are you bringing into this marriage?”
“How much do you send to your family monthly and will that continue?”
If he or she gets angry that you asked, don’t get married yet. A person who is angry about accountability will be abusive about money.
Marriage insurance is not bought at Star Assurance or Enterprise. It is bought in honest conversations when no one is watching.
The wedding costs one day. The marriage costs a lifetime. Don’t enter a lifetime contract and covenant with hidden costs.
You can still insure your marriage today.
Source:
Counselor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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