Relationship
Marriage is a lifelong commitment
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Marriage is a lifelong commitment; God joins the husband and wife together and only death will disjoin them. Commitment is not a ‘sexy’ word or concept; but it probably has more to do with making marriages work than anything else.
It is not just about saying marriage vows nor having a piece of paper that says ‘marriage license.’ Commitment is important because we act differently when we know that our futures are tied together.
You may dodge a difficult conversation if you are aware that your time with that person is limited. In the face of growing discontent or your partner’s behaviour becoming increasingly irritating, you may decide to end the relationship and search for a new love that brings joy and fulfillment.
However, commitment means you have promised to stay and work it through, not just today but forever. Commitment is a choice to give up choices. Although this might at first sound limiting, it actually brings great freedom and depth.
No longer does the committed person need to weigh which person or way of life will bring more happiness. Once committed, all one’s energy goes into making this commitment work.
No longer are other possibilities a distraction. The two major stages of commitment are making the initial commitment and keeping the commitment.
Marriage as a lifelong commitment also implies that you love your spouse enough to make a decision to stay married “until death do us part.” In other words, divorce is not an option in your mind.
At some point, a husband and wife need to ‘decide’ to love—even when they do not feel like it. Lifetime commitment is an understanding that marriage is created by God and it is meant to be permanent.
Jesus Christ reiterated the permanence of marriage. Matthew 19:3-6 (NIV) says:
“Some Pharisees came to Him to test Him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
In the above passage, Jesus is confronted by the Pharisees, who aim to test his views on divorce. They ask if it is permissible for a man to divorce his wife for any reason, hoping to trap Jesus into contradicting the Law.
However, Jesus cleverly redirects their attention to the creation account in Genesis, highlighting God’s original design for marriage. Jesus emphasises that marriage is a divine union, instituted by God, where a man and woman become one flesh. This union is not merely a human contract but a sacred bond ordained by the Creator.
By citing Genesis 2:24, Jesus underscores the permanence of this union, emphasising that the two become one flesh, no longer separate entities.
By saying, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate,” Jesus affirms that marriage is a lifelong commitment, sanctified by God’s divine hand.
He is not merely addressing the Pharisees’ question about divorce but rather upholding the sacredness and indissolubility of marriage.
In the passage, Jesus:
a. Affirms God’s creation design for marriage (Genesis 2:24)
b. Emphasises the unity and oneness of marriage (becoming one flesh)
c. Highlights the divine origin and sanctioning of marriage (what God has joined together)
d. Implies the permanence and indissolubility of marriage (let no one separate)
Marriage is a commitment you make for life. It is a permanent lifelong relationship. Understanding marriage as a lifelong commitment even when it is hard and painful is the biblical understanding of marriage.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC)
1. Talk early and often
It is never too early to start talking with and listening to your children about the first day of school. Ask them what they think school will be like and see if they have any specific concerns so that you will have time to address it over the next couple of weeks. It is totally normal to have first day jitters.
2. Go to the orientation
If your child’s school is hosting an orientation or back-to-school night, take advantage of it. Often children are worried that they will not know how to get to the bathroom, where to eat lunch, or how to get to a locker. If your school does not offer one or you are unable to make it, ask the teacher if it would be possible to stop by for a visit. Teachers are usually in their classrooms prepping for the new school year in advance.
3. Meet the teacher
For kids, wondering if they will like their teacher is a big source of fear. If your child isn’t comfortable in the teacher’s classroom, he or she will be less likely to be ready to learn. Many teachers will make themselves available for a phone or video call or will return an email if a visit is not possible.
4. For younger children, read books or watch educational cartoons
In August, local libraries will often display books about starting school or going to a new school. These materials can help children read about and see what a typical day will consist of and what they will learn in school.
5. Take your kids shopping with you
Your kids will be more excited to use their back-to-school supplies if they picked them out. Doing so will help them feel prepared and will also provide an opportunity to talk about how the new supplies might be used in the coming year.
6. Set up school “zones” and establish clear expectations
At home, establish a location for school materials such as a place to put backpack and lunchbox, and set up a distraction-free homework zone (like the kitchen table with the TV turned off and phones/tablets put away). Set up homework and study times (for example, Monday–Thursday from 3:30–5 pm) to help manage expectations and build and maintain good routines.
7. Practice your new routine
Both children and adults can benefit from practicing the new school routine one to two weeks before school actually starts. Stage a morning dry run to see how long it takes you and your children to get out of the door in the morning. It will not only help you predict how early you and your kids need to get up, but your children will benefit from learning what to expect each weekday.
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Having a good relationship with your child’s teacher will make it easier for you to share concerns and work together to help your child thrive. Here are some tips for building a partnership. Here are some tips to help parents build a good relationship with their child’s teacher.
1. Meet with the teacher and staff early
Teachers are usually swamped at the start of the school year. But try to meet as soon as the teacher can. At your first meeting, find out how the teacher prefers to communicate it can be either by phone, email, or some other method.
2. Help the teacher get to know your child.
Sharing information is key to a good parent-teacher relationship. Tell the teacher about your child’s interests, strengths, and challenges. If your child has an special need, make the teacher a aware, and let the him or her know about situations outside of school that might impact your child’s learning or behaviour.
3. Be respectful of the teacher’s time.
Be on time for appointments, whether they are phone calls, video meetings, or parent-teacher conferences. Try to wrap things up within the allotted time. The teacher may have other parents scheduled after you or other meetings and commitments. You can always set up another call to finish up.
4. Recognise the teacher’s efforts.
If you are meeting in the classroom, look for displays of students’ work or teaching materials that you can compliment. If you are somewhere else, start things off with a positive statement, like something your child enjoys about the teacher’s class.
5. Never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child.
Showing your respect for a teacher will set a good example for your child.
6. Participate in school events.
Take part in school events when possible. This shows that you’re part of the school community and want to be supportive. Offer to volunteer in a way that works for you, whether it’s at school or at home on your own time.
7. Say “thank you.”
Show your appreciation for the big or little things the teacher and other staff do for your child. Thank-you notes and emails can go a long way toward building positive relationships.
