Relationship
To marry or not to marry: the crush conundrum
To some extent, you should marry someone you feel physically and emotionally attracted to. Many times, it can be challenging to be married to someone you have no feelings for.
Despite this, it is also dangerous and regrettable to marry someone solely based on your reason that you are physically and emotionally attracted to them. This is because marriage is a whole institution on its own, and goes far beyond mere physical and sexual attraction.
If you marry someone only on the basis of sexual chemistry or physical attraction; you are most likely going to live to regret that decision later on. This leads me to what the Scriptures say in Proverbs 31:30,
“Charm is DECEPTIVE, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” –NIV
“Charm is deceptive, and BEAUTY DOES NOT LAST; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.” – NLT
What does this Scripture mean?
Here in Proverbs 31:30, we understand that: I. Charm is deceptive, and II. Beauty fades with age.
Charm – sweet words, physical looks or stature is deceptive. This is supported by Proverbs 26:23-25, which states:
“Like a coating of silver dross on earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart. Enemies disguise themselves with their lips, but in their hearts they harbour deceit. Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts” (Proverbs 26:23-25).
There are those who are naturally charming and yet, they have many other godly character traits that make them admirable. They are innocent of deceit and have goodness in their hearts.
But this verse is speaking of a common type of charm that hides one’s unpleasant identity and character.
Beauty fades with age implies if you are more concerned with the outer appearance of your soon-to-be spouse at the expense of other important qualities; then you will be unhappy and shaky in your marriage when the wrinkles come and the number on the weighing scale goes up after getting married. Remember, because of the fall of man, humans get old and die of the decay.
“All people are like grass, and all their faithfulness is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers and the flowers fall” (Isaiah 40:6).
It is not intrinsically wrong to want to look pleasing or to marry a good looking person as your husband or wife. Wanting to look pleasing to your husband is also not evil (1 Cor. 7:34).
However, there is a high cost when beauty becomes an idol. Whereas the world’s way is for women to dress to entice; God’s way is the cultivation of inner beauty. No wonder, 1 Peter 3:3-4 says:
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
This Scripture about beauty does not mean it is wrong to braid your hair or wear nice clothes and jewelry. The verse was written to warn women not to follow the customs of some of the Egyptian women who, during that period, spent hours and hours working on their hair, makeup, and finding the perfect outfit.
God would rather prefer women work on becoming beautiful on the inside – the kind of beauty that lasts forever.
Did you know that your body may show the beginning signs of ageing as early as age 25? That is part of why God wants us to fear or revere Him. Therefore, my advice to you is:
Never marry someone simply because of the person’s physical looks and stature.
Instead, you must have certain enduring qualities you would like to see in the man or woman you intend to marry. What specific character traits should your husband or wife-to-be possess?
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV.COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).
Author, Psychotherapist, Psychologist, Marriage Therapist & Reverend Minister
Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC)
Aries
You are a warrior by nature, try to balance out your own needs to ensure you do not give all of yourself to another. Give yourself some love, too!
Taurus
Do not fret, the secrets being hidden are not bad and are beneficial to your future. In fact, you will be super happy when they are revealed. Then, you can make strategic moves forward.
Gemini
Your friendship circle is evolving, allowing you to meet new people who will become your best buds over time. Embrace the rare chance to connect and engage with others you meet now.
Cancer
Home is where your heart is this week. And the more reason for you to start making yourself feel cozier in your space now. Treat yourself to a few new items to decorate and spruce up your pad to get in the spring spirit. Add fresh.
Leo
Lean into your higher mind and vibe. This will give you the ultimate opportunity to achieve personal fulfillment and spiritual growth over the next few months. Doing so will encourage you to reach new personal heights.
Virgo
Standing up for yourself takes a lot of guts and confidence. Luckily for you, you are able to assert your view against others and defend yourself against those who aim to bring you down.
Libra
Making your mark on the world is challenging, but you are headed in the right direction. As long as you accept that you need to be a leader rather than an innovator in your endeavours, you can take on your goals with success.
Scorpio
You are being introspective and plotting your next moves on and off this week. Take this time and energy to strategise the upcoming sunny days, so you can use them to your advantage and achieve your desires.
Sagittarius
It is time to get creative! This means busting out your drawing board, paintbrushes and colour palette to make art. Whether it is for professional endeavours or for pleasure, you will be inspired to bring your passions to light
Capricorn
Work is becoming very chaotic at the moment and requires all of your time, but you have the chance to balance out your vibe and not focus on professional endeavours. Find your chill spot and lean into self-care.
Aquarius
You are feeling extra chatty and more able to engage with friends. Word of advice: think before you speak to avoid conflict with others.
Pisces
This week gives you the chance to restart, reboot and get motivated to take on new opportunities. The question is: Are you ready now?
Attention-Deficit or Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often mistaken for laziness or indiscipline. In consulting rooms across Accra and in reports from school teachers, the pattern repeats: children who are bright but forgetful, parents who feel helpless, teachers who see incompleteness.
Research is clear-Barkley (2015) and others describe ADHD as a difference in the brain’s regulation of alertness, impulse and working memory, not a lack of effort.
The family’s role begins with structure. Regular sleep, predictable meal and homework times, and a simple visual list (uniform → books → water → corridor) provide the external scaffolding these children need. Praise what is completed—“You opened the book and wrote the first sentence”-instead of rebuking what is missing.
Schools can help by seating the child front-row and centre, giving short written plus verbal instructions, allowing brief movement breaks, using quiet nonverbal cues and, where possible, grading effort and method as well as neatness. These adjustments reduce conflict and raise submission rates without lowering standards.
Couples and caregivers should share roles: one grounds, one pivots, and both protect rest. Shame-“bad parenting, bad child”-needs replacing with fact: different wiring, needs scaffolding.
Outcomes improve not by promises of perfection but by daily routines, clear limits and warmed connection. One homework slot kept, one instruction chunked, one calm repair after blurting-these small wins shift the family climate and let the child be seen beyond the label.
Resource
• CPAC (award-winning Mental Health and Counselling Facility): 0559850604 / 0551428486
Source: REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI’s insights on special needs support, relationships, and mental health in Ghana. He is a leading mental health professional, lecturer, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, renowned author, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE) – 0551428486 /0559850604.
WEBSITES:
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author
https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website
