Relationship
Is your marriage counsellor or couples therapist right for you?
Ensure to have a say in whoever counsels you
As a single or couple preparing to get married, take personal interest in who counsels you as your marriage therapist or counsellor. Because who you choose to marry is one of the most important decisions you would ever make in your life.
Pre-marital counselling ought not to be some formality you need to satisfy in order to get married. If you are interested in how your life and future turns out, then do not take for granted the person who prepares you for your marriage journey.
Always remember that your marriage can make or break you. Therefore, make sure you have a say in who counsels you, especially if you realise that the marriage counsellor is not qualified and has very little pre-marital counselling experience.
For most of you, because you are in the Church environment, you are not given the chance to choose who prepares you for your marriage. I understand that perfectly. However, if you realise the counsellor you have been assigned will not be helpful in giving you that solid foundation for your marriage journey, then I would encourage you to ask your Senior Pastor or the Head of Counselling Unit to give you another counsellor you would be more comfortable with.
Make this request in a respectful manner. In many cases, if there are other marriage counsellors available, I know the Church would be more than willing to grant your request by giving you another counsellor.
Nevertheless, in an extreme situation where you don’t get any replacement because it is only one counsellor you are all stuck to, I would encourage you to seek professional pre-marital counselling outside while you still go through the pre-marital counselling package of your Church.
Do not ever rebel against your Church! Instead, get additional professional counselling from a counselling facility like ours (Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult—CPAC, which is a mental health and counselling consult accredited by Ghana Psychology Council).
Indeed, such professional services would attract some fees; however, if experiencing a happy, fulfilling and lasting marriage is your main goal, then no cost would be too much for you to get professional support.
Qualities to look out for in Your Marriage Counsellor
As you embark on the journey of marriage, remember that seeking help from a professional marriage therapist or counsellor can be a valuable asset to your relationship.
I admit there are so many characteristics you would have to consider when choosing your marriage therapist or counsellor. Nevertheless, the following are the core qualities that your marriage counsellor or therapist must possess:
1. Respect for your Christian faith and values
If you are a Christian searching for a qualified Christian marriage counsellor, look for a marriage counsellor who aligns with your Christian beliefs and values. It would be helpful if the counsellor is a strong Christian himself or herself. They should have a solid understanding of biblical principles and must have the required skills to effectively integrate such principles into their counselling approach.
As a Christian couple, it will be a plus if your marriage counsellor is doctrinally solid, secure in his own marriage and family relationships (1 Timothy 3:4-5; Titus 1:7), and living in obedience to God’s Word within his or her marriage.
2. Expertise in marriage counselling
Look for a counsellor with specific training and experience in couple counselling or therapy. The counsellor should have a master’s or undergraduate degree in marriage or couple counselling, or at least some form of professionally accredited certificate in marriage or couplesss counselling.
A professional certificate such as, Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult’s ‘Certificate in Counselling and Marriage Therapy’, which is accredited by Ghana Psychology Council (GPC). In extreme cases where the person does not have any of these training, you could look out for at least general counselling or psychology training, in addition to some years of experience in handling couples.
Within the context of Christian training, I know many recognised and accredited Christian Seminaries and Pastoral Schools integrate some basic marriage counselling courses to equip the pastors. However, it is not all pastors who have the required expertise to provide effective pre-marital counselling.
Ultimately, find a counsellor who has specific relevant experience in working with couples and marriage-related issues. They must have some years of practice and a track record of helping couples overcome challenges and improve their relationships.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELLOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist).
COUNSELLOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC)
It is the New Year! We have all eagerly waited for Christmas and now that it is over, it is time to get back into our daily routine.
This can be rather difficult, especially for children who may have become used to spending time with family, staying up a bit later than their usual bedtime, watching lots of movies and enjoying delicious Christmas treats and exciting new presents.
Having enjoyed some festive ‘freedom’ it is now time to get back to school routines and teachers’ expectations.
Getting back to work/school can cause anxiety to parents as well. Here are six tips to help your family adjust back to the daily routine:
Gradually introduce an early bedtime routine
The kids may have enjoyed a later bedtime during the festive period. By gradually introducing an earlier bedtime the transition between the holidays and the return to school will be easier.
Encourage your kids to go to bed early a few days before their return to school. This will help them get used to early mornings on school days.
Remind them of their usual term-time bedtime routine, such as getting their clothes ready for the next day, or no screen time at least an hour before bed. Do this gradually over the first week back.
2. Talk to your child
Kids find it easier to adjust to a new routine if they know what to expect. Explain to your child that now that Christmas is over and they have enjoyed some lovely experiences together, it is time to get back to school and other daily activities.
Remind them of the daily routine, such as school drop off and pick up, after school clubs, homework and everything else that happens during term-time.
3. Let your child share their feelings without judgment
Ask your child how they feel about going back to school. Listen to what they say in a non-judgmental way and avoid criticism.
Show them empathy and use positive affirmations such as ‘I know it’s hard to get back to school after the holidays’, ‘We are here for you if you find it difficult’ or ‘It is okay to feel this way, you will get through this’.
4. Draw pictures or use social stories
Many children find it difficult to express their feelings. You can ask your child to draw a picture of how they feel about going back to school. This is a great tool to deal with anxiety.
Look at their picture and try to find the message your child has tried to express. If you cannot figure it out, ask your child to talk about the picture and explain it to you. This could be a good starting point for a conversation about your child’s feelings and anxieties.
Alternatively, you could write a social story for your child. Known to be highly beneficial for children with learning difficulties including autism, social stories are effective methods to provide guidance and directions for responding to various types of social situations. You should ideally personalise it so that your child is the main character and your child’s specific school and teachers are mentioned.
5. Use positive holiday experiences
Sit with your child and look back at your holiday experiences together. Look at pictures or special objects that remind them of the holidays and choose one they could share with their friends or teachers at school. Remind your child that although the holidays are over, you can still enjoy family time or trips together on weekends. Try to plan ahead for weekend activities or days out and put these in the diary, this will give your child something to look forward to.
6. Get organised
Do not leave things for the last minute before going back to school! The school run and morning routine is already hectic. Get all uniforms, lunch boxes, book bags ready the night before – and be consistent with this approach.
Ensure school kits are ready for the first day back at school. Check with your child if there is anything else they need to bring back, such as library books they brought home before the holidays.
As the clock resets, the second week of January is here, and with it comes the excitement of a fresh start. For couples, this is a golden opportunity to step into the new year not just as individuals but as a team. A joint plan and target for 2026 can be the difference between a marital relationship that merely survives and one that truly thrives.
Planning together as a couple is about more than setting goals; it is about strengthening your bond, aligning your dreams, and creating a shared vision for your home and future. It is a deliberate act of love, commitment, and collaboration that can transform your relationship and enhance your mental and emotional well-being.
Here is a continuation of how couples can make 2026 their best year yet by embracing the power of joint planning and preparation.
6. Build a financial plan together
Money is often a source of tension in relationships, but a clear financial plan can reduce stress and foster trust. Use the start of the year to create a joint budget, set savings targets, and agree on how to manage expenses.
Steps to build your financial plan
• Track your income and expenses to identify areas where you can save.
• Set financial priorities, such as paying off debt, saving for a home, or investing in education.
• Agree on spending limits for non-essential items to avoid conflicts.
7. Strengthen your mental and emotional bond
Good mental health is the foundation of a thriving marital relationship. Couples who prioritise their mental and emotional well-being are better equipped to navigate challenges, resolve conflicts, and stay connected.
Steps to strengthen mental health together
• Practice Gratitude: Start a gratitude journal where you list things you are thankful for about each other daily or weekly. Start each day with words of affirmation or a prayer together.
• Encourage Self-Care: Support each other in taking time for personal hobbies, rest, and relaxation. Support each other’s mental health by being patient, understanding, and encouraging self-care.
• Share your dreams, fears, and hopes for the future during quiet moments.
• Seek Help When Needed: Do not hesitate to consult Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC), or a therapist if you face emotional or relational difficulties.
8. Create a couple’s bucket list
Planning is not just about work—it is also about fun! A couple’s bucket list adds excitement and adventure to your relationship. It is a chance to dream big and create unforgettable memories together.
Examples of bucket list ideas
• Take a weekend road trip to a destination you have never explored to celebrate a personal or professional success.
• Have a special dinner date when you hit a financial savings target.
• Try a new hobby together, such as dancing, gardening, or painting.
• Write love letters to each other and exchange them on your anniversary.
• Surprise each other with thoughtful gifts or notes of encouragement.
9. Stay flexible: Life happens
Even the best plans can face unexpected challenges. Flexibility is key to maintaining harmony in your relationship when life throws curveballs. Be willing to adapt your goals and support each other through changes.
Final Thoughts: Your year, your legacy
Remember, the journey is just as important as the destination. Celebrate progress, no matter how small, and focus on growing together as a couple.
2026 is a blank canvas, and you and your spouse hold the brush. By creating a joint plan and working as a team, you can build a year filled with love, growth, and success.
Take time this week to sit down, dream, and plan together. Know that the effort you invest in your marital relationship now will yield a harvest of joy and fulfillment in the months to come. Here is to 2026—a year of unity, purpose, and partnership! Let us make it a year to remember.
To be continued …
Source: REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI is a renowned author, mental health professional, lecturer, and marriage counsellor at COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE). He is the author of several books, including “Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage” and “A Counsellor’s Guide to Using ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Effectively.”
By Counsellor Prince Offei
Join our WhatsApp Channel now!
https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBElzjInlqHhl1aTU27
