Obaa Yaa
Stepson comes with blessings
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have been married for five years without a child and as usual people gave us names and tried to ridicule us.
Though we were in hard times and it was extremely difficult to obtain a square meal, l was more surprised to learn that in the midst of all these problems, my husband had gone to impregnate a young lady and the parents had threatened to report the matter to the police.
Following this incident, an elderly woman in the area came to whisper into my ears that though difficult to bear, l should not get angry since this unfortunate incident could bring about a turning point in my marriage. Initially, l considered the piece of advice from the old woman a trash.
While some blamed my husband for the mess he had caused, others were quick to say that he was justified because l could not conceive.
I lost appetite for food and the whole world seemed to be crumbling over my head. Under the circumstance, several issues came to my mind and the idea of divorce stood tall among the options.
There was no peace in the house a few days following this shocker from my husband. Having thought about it, l could not believe it and contemplated divorce in order to have my peace.
One early morning, I was surprised when the old woman came to our house again and asked me to forget about divorce, and ended with these words, “Treat this child with love and one day you will reap the immense benefits”.
After this child was fully integrated into the family, my husband got a job, l became pregnant and ever since there is absolute peace in the family. Thanks to the good counsel of the old lady who calmed the raging tempers in the family.
I wish to use this column to advise wives to remain patient when matters go bad.
Faustina, Accra.
Dear Faustina,
I am extremely glad about this wonderful piece of information which will help calm raging tempers in families when such issues occur.
My conviction is that it is always advisable to listen to good counsel whenever there is a problem and take the right decision.
This should not be misconstrued as supporting husbands who indulge in extra-marital affairs.
I wish to commend Madam Faustina for the demonstration of tolerance and love for the little boy. Having gotten a child, she must not change her attitude towards this boy.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
WE have been married for three years with no child. We have been living together for about five years now.
For eight months, we had a lot of quarrels caused by her. I complained to her parents when they came for a visit.
I later left them in the house for an evening church service around 7pm. Upon my return after about 9:30pm, she was not in the house and neither were her parents. I opened the door and found out that she had left with all her belongings.
I did not go to look for her. She also did not come back that day. She came back on the fourth day to plead for forgiveness.
But the truth is that I have lost interest in her and the relationship, so her return after four days to seek forgiveness meant nothing to me. I don’t love her again. What should I do?
Yawson, Swedru.
Dear Yawson,
I DON’T understand why your wife decided to stay out for almost four days. My second headache is why her parents allowed her to pack out of her matrimonial home without your consent.
I understand your anger, but I think you must listen to her first; know where she went for four days and what informed the decision before arriving at a final verdict on her.
If you investigate and find out that she didn’t go anywhere to ‘misbehave,’ but just went away out of anger only to realise she was wrong, then she is worth forgiving. To err is human, to forgive is divine.
In your letter you said you do not love her again. Are you sure about that? Perhaps you are fuming with anger now, but when your anger abates, you’ll be in a better position to assess the situation.
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been having a serious argument with a friend of mine on men and women, and I would like you to help us solve it.
For some time now, I have been hearing that the women in this country are more than the men, and my friend also supported it by saying that every man in this country is entitled to seven solid women.
In fact, Obaa Yaa, I am confused because at the various workplaces and in other organisations, you can see that the men outnumber the women, and the only place where the women outnumber the men is the markets.
Can you help us with statistics suggesting that men are more than women and also help me to establish the veracity of the claim that every man is supposed to marry more than one woman?
P. K. Tamakloe, Akosombo.
Dear P.K,
According to statistics, women are more than men in this country but not to the extent that one man can marry seven women.
There are about two men to three women, although the ratio is not definite. As it were, when you take two men, only one on the average can marry two wives. The other can only get a woman and no more.
My question is why you are worried about something you can’t change.
Besides, as a Christian, you are entitled to marry only one woman.
You should not encourage such conversations because it can affect some decisions you want to take in life.
