Relationship
Some steps to becoming a supportive partner
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Being in love is amazing. And being loved back is even better. You have this person who believes in you, puts up with you at your worst, cares for you, and is someone you can always fall back on.
If you’re reciprocating all this, then keep at it. If not, then you should know that telling someone you love them and proving it are two different things. A relationship needs a lot of things to flourish and survive. Any one of the pieces goes missing, the whole thing becomes shaky. One of such things is support.
You may have love, trust, respect, and honesty, but if you’re not being supportive, they’ll feel something missing. Unless they’re putting themselves in harm’s way, support them in everything they do.
Listen intently
It might work in the movies, but despite how eyes can speak, or show that special connection enables you to understand your partner without saying anything; the reality of the matter is quite different. With time you indeed learn each other’s gestures, expressions, and body language, but even then, words are always needed. A lot can happen over time, but you cannot become telepathic.
So when your partner is making your life easier by talking to you about stuff they want to do, or the things they like or what intimidates them the most or any number of things, do yourself a favor, and LISTEN! Absorb every little thing that comes out of their mouth. It shows you care enough to pay attention to. Even if it’s something you can’t help them with, all they might want is for you to just hear them out.
Be attentive
Attention is what every human is designed to crave. Some may deny it, some may accept it and then others are just needy. Anyhow, however long you’ve been in your relationship, never allow yourself to believe that you fully know each other. People are constantly changing, and those changes are gradual and initially may not be as visible as say, a different hair color.
Never stop observing your partner. There is always going to be something new. You’ll be surprised by the things you can learn about someone even after spending years together.
Be the helping hand
Design each other’s life easier. If you have spare time and they’re up to their ears with something, ease their burden. It’s something that comes almost naturally. You tend to look out for each other and do whatever you can to make life less difficult. We’re in this together’, say it, mean it, and act on it!
As a couple, you’re going to go through a lot of things together. And these are the times when you both need each other the most. Don’t ever fall short of doing your part. Always be there for them. You’re equal partners. Whatever the matter may be, you both are a part of it and you’re going to deal with it together.
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Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world -and the one for which you might feel the least prepared.
Here are nine child-rearing tips can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.
- Boost your child’s self-esteem
Children start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents’ eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else.
Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless.
Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” cause damage just as physical blows do.
Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your children know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don’t love their behavior.
2. Catch children being good
Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your kids in a given day? You may find yourself criticising far more often than complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance, even if it was well-intentioned?
The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: “You made your bed without being asked that’s terrific!” or “I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient.” These statements will do more to encourage good behaviour over the long run than repeated scolding.
Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards- your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are “growing” more of the behavior you would like to see.
Marriage is meant to be a sanctuary – a place where two people feel safe, seen, and supported. But what happens when the person who promised “forever” slowly becomes the source of your deepest emotional wounds?
As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional in Accra, I sit with men who whisper, “I feel invisible in my own home,” or “I’m constantly blamed for things I didn’t do.” Often, these men are not describing a “difficult wife.” They are describing years of living with narcissistic patterns -patterns that don’t bruise the skin, but shatter the soul.
Let me be clear: Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Confidence is healthy. Pride is human. But narcissistic personality traits become destructive when they are consistent, rigid, and designed to control, manipulate, or diminish the other partner. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that emotional abuse from narcissistic partners can cause anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even trauma symptoms similar to PTSD.
This article is not about demonising women. It is about naming pain so healing can begin. If you see yourself in these 7 red flags, know this: You are not weak, you are not crazy, and you are not alone.
What can you do if you see these red flags?
Naming the wound is the first step to healing it. Healing does not always mean divorce. Sometimes it means clarity, boundaries, and professional support. Here’s where to start:
1. Get professional clarity, not just advice
Friends may say “all women are like that.” They are not. A trained marriage counsellor or psychologist can help you separate personality traits from clinical patterns, and reality from manipulation. Clarity protects your mental health.
2. Set firm, calm boundaries
Boundaries are not attacks. They are fences around your dignity. Example: “I will not be insulted in public. If it happens, I will leave the room.” Boundaries teach people how to treat you.
3. Rebuild your support system
Narcissistic dynamics thrive in isolation. Reconnect with trusted male friends, mentors, family, or men’s support groups. You need voices outside the home to remind you that you are valuable.
4. Prioritise your mental and physical health
Therapy, exercise, prayer, journaling, medical check-ups — these are not selfish. They are survival tools. A wounded man cannot lead, love, or parent well. Heal yourself first.
5. Seek professional counselling or mediation, not war
If the marriage can be saved, a counsellor or ADR Expert/Arbitrator can create a structured, safe space for both partners to be heard. If it cannot, mediation protects children and assets from destructive conflict.
Final word to the man reading this
Brother, marriage should add to your life, not subtract from your sense of self. If you live daily with confusion, fear, and emotional emptiness, please hear me: You are not the problem for naming it. Silent wounds in marriage only heal when we bring them into the light.
You deserve a home where peace, not performance, is the atmosphere. Whether healing happens within the marriage through transformation and boundaries, or outside it through a safer separation, your mental health and dignity matter.
You are not alone. And you are not powerless.
Source:
Rev. Counsellor Prince Offei, founder of Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC), is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Published Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes weekly on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health and psychological well-being.
For therapy, counselling, mediation, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) or CPAC Africa ADR and Mediation Centre (CAAMC) in Accra on 0559850604 or 0551428486.
Websites: https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website | https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author
