Relationship
Some steps for finding hope in your relationship
Everyone goes through tough times. Every relation has a rough patch and demands compromise. All roses have their thorns and you just need to get through them, together. At times when we have been facing difficulties for a very long time, we start to believe that nothing can make things work. Soon, every small thing starts to bug you and build up that frustration. Before you know, you’ve given up all hope and walked out of the relationship. Here are a few things that have given me immense hope in the times when I and my partner had almost given up. I would recommend that you and your partner do this together. A small exercise that will revive your relationship.
Communication
You and your partner must communicate with each other about why you are doing all these things. Sometimes, you already know something but want to hear it from your partner, like listening to your partner say I love you’ is something you can never get used to. So tell your partner that you’re doing this because you want things to work and because you are not ready to let go till you have tried everything to make things work. Also, hear what your partner has to say. This will help you see that your partner is trying equally.
Go down memory lane
Sit and talk about how you and your partner met. Disclose the things that you remember from that day. It’s like drawing a painting with your words. Aid them to imagine and relive that day. Also, listen closely to what your partner has to say about that day.
This moment is the most essential and memorable moment of any relationship. Ask your partner to do a little role-playing activity. At first, switch roles with your partner. Let your partner see themselves through your eyes. If you were the one to propose, let them be the one to do it the same way you did. Remember, act it out the way you remember and don’t guide each other during the activity. Once you are done, do it the way it actually happened. There always will be a slight difference between the role play and the actual incident. Usually, your partner will always make your role seem a lot more magical because that is how the moment was for them. Also, this small act will show both of you how much effort was made from both sides. My partner and I had already found hope once we reached this step, I am sure you will too.
Recall special moments
The best times of a relationship are when the two laugh together. Remind your partner of the funniest moments in your relationship and laugh with him/her. This will show both of you how many great times you have spent together and that all those memories are worth one more try, at least.
Even though you’ve done it as an activity and you both know that you only said you’ll try because you were asked to do so but remember you wouldn’t do that, even, if you weren’t trying in the first place.
Source: gistpping.com
Raising kids is one of the toughest and most fulfilling jobs in the world -and the one for which you might feel the least prepared.
Here are nine child-rearing tips can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent.
- Boost your child’s self-esteem
Children start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents’ eyes. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression are absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else.
Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting kids do things independently will make them feel capable and strong. By contrast, belittling comments or comparing a child unfavorably with another will make kids feel worthless.
Avoid making loaded statements or using words as weapons. Comments like “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” cause damage just as physical blows do.
Choose your words carefully and be compassionate. Let your children know that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them, even when you don’t love their behavior.
2. Catch children being good
Have you ever stopped to think about how many times you react negatively to your kids in a given day? You may find yourself criticising far more often than complimenting. How would you feel about a boss who treated you with that much negative guidance, even if it was well-intentioned?
The more effective approach is to catch kids doing something right: “You made your bed without being asked that’s terrific!” or “I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient.” These statements will do more to encourage good behaviour over the long run than repeated scolding.
Make a point of finding something to praise every day. Be generous with rewards- your love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often reward enough. Soon you will find you are “growing” more of the behavior you would like to see.
Marriage is meant to be a sanctuary – a place where two people feel safe, seen, and supported. But what happens when the person who promised “forever” slowly becomes the source of your deepest emotional wounds?
As a marriage counsellor and mental health professional in Accra, I sit with men who whisper, “I feel invisible in my own home,” or “I’m constantly blamed for things I didn’t do.” Often, these men are not describing a “difficult wife.” They are describing years of living with narcissistic patterns -patterns that don’t bruise the skin, but shatter the soul.
Let me be clear: Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Confidence is healthy. Pride is human. But narcissistic personality traits become destructive when they are consistent, rigid, and designed to control, manipulate, or diminish the other partner. Research from the American Psychological Association shows that emotional abuse from narcissistic partners can cause anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even trauma symptoms similar to PTSD.
This article is not about demonising women. It is about naming pain so healing can begin. If you see yourself in these 7 red flags, know this: You are not weak, you are not crazy, and you are not alone.
What can you do if you see these red flags?
Naming the wound is the first step to healing it. Healing does not always mean divorce. Sometimes it means clarity, boundaries, and professional support. Here’s where to start:
1. Get professional clarity, not just advice
Friends may say “all women are like that.” They are not. A trained marriage counsellor or psychologist can help you separate personality traits from clinical patterns, and reality from manipulation. Clarity protects your mental health.
2. Set firm, calm boundaries
Boundaries are not attacks. They are fences around your dignity. Example: “I will not be insulted in public. If it happens, I will leave the room.” Boundaries teach people how to treat you.
3. Rebuild your support system
Narcissistic dynamics thrive in isolation. Reconnect with trusted male friends, mentors, family, or men’s support groups. You need voices outside the home to remind you that you are valuable.
4. Prioritise your mental and physical health
Therapy, exercise, prayer, journaling, medical check-ups — these are not selfish. They are survival tools. A wounded man cannot lead, love, or parent well. Heal yourself first.
5. Seek professional counselling or mediation, not war
If the marriage can be saved, a counsellor or ADR Expert/Arbitrator can create a structured, safe space for both partners to be heard. If it cannot, mediation protects children and assets from destructive conflict.
Final word to the man reading this
Brother, marriage should add to your life, not subtract from your sense of self. If you live daily with confusion, fear, and emotional emptiness, please hear me: You are not the problem for naming it. Silent wounds in marriage only heal when we bring them into the light.
You deserve a home where peace, not performance, is the atmosphere. Whether healing happens within the marriage through transformation and boundaries, or outside it through a safer separation, your mental health and dignity matter.
You are not alone. And you are not powerless.
Source:
Rev. Counsellor Prince Offei, founder of Counsellor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC), is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Published Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes weekly on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health and psychological well-being.
For therapy, counselling, mediation, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) or CPAC Africa ADR and Mediation Centre (CAAMC) in Accra on 0559850604 or 0551428486.
Websites: https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website | https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/author
