Relationship
Show me your friends and I’ll show you your health span
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Friends sharing their challenges
“Me nyare n’anso me nti ap)” this is a popular akan saying that can be translated into English as “I am not ill, yet I feel unwell.” It’s that feeling when you just can’t place a finger on what is not right with you.
Today, I can confidently inform you that if you have felt this way in the past, you certainly had a point. Medical science has come a long way and we know that health and wellness go far beyond what we are used to; pains, heart disease, infections etc. that form physical health/wellness.
Other equally important aspects of wellness exist, and these may be classified as social, mental, spiritual, financial and digital health and wellness.
Do not be surprised when your doctor begins to ask you questions about your social network such as those you have close ties with i.e., family or friends or both. Longevity depends on a large extend on one’s social support system or network.
This is how the American Heart Association puts it “lack of SOCIAL CONNECTION is associated with increased risk of premature death from all causes, especially among men.”
This is no open ticket to spend all of one’s after work hours hanging out with friends under the disguise that you are prolonging your life or reducing your risk of premature death. Moderation is key in all things and your strong social ties need not be a whole village, all you need is a handful of loyal friends or family who know you inside out and have your wellbeing at heart.
If you are stressed out or have any mental health challenges, you should be able to speak to a close friend and sharing your challenge may just be enough or this friend may be able to advice you appropriately.
It is easy to laugh with such friends and not be worried about being judged and laughter as you know is MEDICINE. Close contacts may prompt you to take your physical health seriously but even if they don’t, that bond you share, the sense of belonging causes the body to produce feel good hormones that protect you and prolong your health span.
I prefer health span to lifespan simply because lifespan refers to just being alive but one may not be “living” as you may be bedridden, in a coma, have multiple organ challenges etc. We should all aim at a long health span.
The art of building strong social connections is one reason we need to work on getting our children away from their phones and other gadgets that deprive them of the opportunity to talk to their peers, share physical contact and form lifelong relationships.
Dear friend, choose your friends wisely if you want to live a long, healthy and happy life.
While you work on your social connections, let’s breathe our way to great health by following the steps below and repeat these steps daily;
1. Sit in a quiet place.
2. Avoid tight clothing (so loosen your belt, neck tie or other constricting clothing).
3. Take in deep breaths through your nostril and exhale slowly through partially closed lips.
a. At the peak of your initial inhale, take in another breath and hold for a count of 4 before exhaling.
4. Expand your belly as you breathe in.
5. Focus on your breathing and forget about everything else.
6. When your focus drifts off (and it will about 50 per cent of the time), acknowledge the thought but quickly return to your breathing.
7. Continue breathing in and exhaling for 5 minutes.
8. Increase the duration of this breathing/mindfulness over time.
…and remember to teach your friends to breathe too, after all together you will live a long healthy and enjoyable life.
AS ALWAYS LAUGH OFTEN, ENSURE HYGIENE, WALK AND PRAY EVERYDAY AND REMEMBER IT’S A PRICELESS GIFT TO KNOW YOUR NUMBERS (blood sugar, blood pressure, blood cholesterol, BMI).
Dr Kojo Cobba Essel
Health Essentials Ltd (HE&W Group)
(dressel@healthessentialsgh. com)
*Dr Essel is a Medical Doctor with a keen interest in Lifestyle Medicine, He holds an MBA and is an ISSA Specialist in Exercise Therapy, Fitness Nutrition and Corrective Exercise. He is the author of the award-winning book, ‘Unravelling the Essentials of Health & Wealth.’
Thought for the week (1) – “Lack of sleep may predispose you to many diseases including a STROKE. Jump into bed an hour earlier and sleep a stroke away. You cannot be healthy during WAR or VIOLENCE, let’s all pray and work towards PEACE in our WORLD”
Thought for the week (2) – “There is no magic formula to being happy but making a conscious effort to be happy goes a long way.” – Dr Kojo Cobba Essel
By Dr Kojo Cobba Essel
1. Talk early and often
It is never too early to start talking with and listening to your children about the first day of school. Ask them what they think school will be like and see if they have any specific concerns so that you will have time to address it over the next couple of weeks. It is totally normal to have first day jitters.
2. Go to the orientation
If your child’s school is hosting an orientation or back-to-school night, take advantage of it. Often children are worried that they will not know how to get to the bathroom, where to eat lunch, or how to get to a locker. If your school does not offer one or you are unable to make it, ask the teacher if it would be possible to stop by for a visit. Teachers are usually in their classrooms prepping for the new school year in advance.
3. Meet the teacher
For kids, wondering if they will like their teacher is a big source of fear. If your child isn’t comfortable in the teacher’s classroom, he or she will be less likely to be ready to learn. Many teachers will make themselves available for a phone or video call or will return an email if a visit is not possible.
4. For younger children, read books or watch educational cartoons
In August, local libraries will often display books about starting school or going to a new school. These materials can help children read about and see what a typical day will consist of and what they will learn in school.
5. Take your kids shopping with you
Your kids will be more excited to use their back-to-school supplies if they picked them out. Doing so will help them feel prepared and will also provide an opportunity to talk about how the new supplies might be used in the coming year.
6. Set up school “zones” and establish clear expectations
At home, establish a location for school materials such as a place to put backpack and lunchbox, and set up a distraction-free homework zone (like the kitchen table with the TV turned off and phones/tablets put away). Set up homework and study times (for example, Monday–Thursday from 3:30–5 pm) to help manage expectations and build and maintain good routines.
7. Practice your new routine
Both children and adults can benefit from practicing the new school routine one to two weeks before school actually starts. Stage a morning dry run to see how long it takes you and your children to get out of the door in the morning. It will not only help you predict how early you and your kids need to get up, but your children will benefit from learning what to expect each weekday.
Trust is the glue that holds relationships and marriages together. Without it, even the strongest bonds can crumble.
As a couple navigates the ups and downs of life, trust serves as the foundation upon which their love, commitment, and loyalty are built. But what happens when trust is broken?
How can couples work to rebuild and strengthen this essential component of their relationship?
Trust is not just a feeling; it is a choice. It is a decision to be vulnerable, to be open, and to believe in the goodness of your partner. When trust is present, relationships flourish.
Communication becomes easier, conflicts are resolved more efficiently, and intimacy deepens. Trust allows couples to feel secure, to know that they can rely on each other through life’s challenges.
Signs of trust issues
So, how do you know if trust is an issue in your relationship? Look out for these signs:
– Suspicion and jealousy
– Defensiveness and accusations
– Lack of communication or withholding information
– Dishonesty or hiding the truth
– Emotional distance or disconnection
How to build trust
Fortunately, trust can be built and rebuilt. Here are some practical steps couples can take:
1. Communicate openly: Communication is the key to any successful relationship. Be honest, transparent, and open with your partner. Share your thoughts, feelings, and desires in a respectful and empathetic manner.
2 Be reliable: Follow through on your commitments. Show your partner that you are dependable and responsible.
3. Show vulnerability: Be willing to be vulnerable with your partner. Share your fears, hopes, and dreams with them.
4. Practice forgiveness: Let go of grudges and resentments. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning hurtful behavior, but rather releasing the negative emotions associated with it.
5. Cultivate intimacy: Intimacy is not just physical; it’s also emotional. Make time for regular date nights, meaningful conversations, and affectionate gestures.
Rebuilding Trust
If trust has been broken, it is essential to work on rebuilding it. This process takes time, effort, and commitment from both partners. Here are some steps to take:
1. Acknowledge the hurt: Recognise the pain caused by the breach of trust. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate their experience.
2. Identify the cause: Understand the reasons behind the breach of trust. Is it a lack of communication, infidelity, or something else? Identifying the root cause can help you address the issue more effectively.
3. Work together: Rebuilding trust requires a joint effort. Work together to establish new patterns of behavior, communicate openly, and rebuild intimacy.
4. Seek help: If needed, seek the help of a couples therapist or counselor. A professional can provide guidance and support as you work to rebuild trust. Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) can be helpful in that vein.
Building trust in a relationship or marriage takes work, commitment, and patience. It is a journey that requires effort from both partners. By communicating openly, being reliable, showing vulnerability, practicing forgiveness, and cultivating intimacy, couples can strengthen their bond and build a foundation of trust that will last a lifetime. Remember, trust is not something that can be demanded; it is something that must be earned and nurtured. With time, effort, and dedication, couples can build a strong, trusting relationship that brings joy, happiness, and fulfillment to their lives.
To be continued …
Source:
Counsellor Prince Offei, CPAC’s founder, is a leading Mental Health Professional, Marriage Counsellor, Author, ADR Expert/Arbitrator, and Spectator Newspaper Columnist. He writes on relationships, marriage, parenting, special needs support, and their connection to mental health. For therapy, counselling, or enquiries, contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) in Accra on 0559850604 / 0551428486.
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