Relationship
Qualities to look out for in your marriage counsellor –Part 2
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A counsellor should be able to provide strong support
Finding the right marriage counsellor can be a daunting task, but it is a crucial step in building a strong, fulfilling relationship. Last week, we discussed the importance of professional qualifications, rapport building, strong communication skills, and an impartial attitude in a marriage counsellor.
However, there are more essential qualities to consider when selecting a counsellor to guide you. In this second part, we will explore additional characteristics which make a marriage counsellor effective, supportive and trustworthy.
5. Firm ethical standards and professionalism
When it comes to matters as delicate as your relationship, among other things, ensure that your marriage counsellor adheres to a strict code of ethics and professional practice.
Ethical standards ensure that the counsellor’s actions and decisions are guided by a strong moral compass, promoting trust, respect, and fairness.
Professionalism goes hand in hand with ethical standards, as it sets the tone for a productive counselling or therapeutic relationship.
Generally, the counsellor should maintain professional boundaries including confidentiality, respecting your privacy and autonomy, and demonstrating integrity in their practice.
Confidentiality simply means that anything you discuss during your sessions will remain confidential unless there is a legal obligation or an imminent risk of harm. Knowing that your personal matters will be kept private allows you and your partner to be open and honest without fear of judgement or breach of trust.
Remember, finding a marriage counsellor with firm ethical standards and professionalism is crucial for your journey towards a happy and fulfilling marriage.
6. Problem-solving skills
Your counsellor should possess effective problem-solving skills required to help you and your partner identify the underlying issues in your relationship, and develop strategies for resolving conflicts and challenges in your relationship.
7. Empathy and compassion
Look for a counsellor who genuinely cares about your well-being and demonstrates empathy and compassion.
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes and truly understand their emotions and experiences. On the other hand, compassion goes hand in hand with empathy.
Whereas empathy enables the counsellor to understand your emotions, compassion takes it a step further by prompting them to act on that understanding with kindness and care.
Compassion is the gentle hand that guides you through difficult conversations, allowing you to face the challenges in your relationship with courage and love. A compassionate marriage counsellor will provide strong support, offering a safe haven for you and your partner to express yourselves freely.
Your marriage counsellor should be able to understand and validate your emotions, providing a supportive space for you to explore your concerns. A professional marriage counsellor will try to understand your perspectives, challenges, and aspirations, ensuring that no voice goes unheard.
When choosing a marriage counsellor, remember empathy and compassion are not just nice-to-have qualities; rather they’re essential pillars that contribute to the success of your counselling journey.
8. Cultural sensitivity
Look for a counsellor who has in-depth understanding about your different cultural backgrounds, and is sensitive enough to help you through your diverse cultural beliefs, practices, relationship dynamics and challenges.
Marriage counsellors who are culturally sensitive take the time to truly understand your individual histories, backgrounds, and values, recognising that these factors shape your perspective on marriage (whether good or bad). They should honour you and your partner’s differences and work with you to find common ground, fostering an environment of inclusivity and acceptance.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC)
1. Talk early and often
It is never too early to start talking with and listening to your children about the first day of school. Ask them what they think school will be like and see if they have any specific concerns so that you will have time to address it over the next couple of weeks. It is totally normal to have first day jitters.
2. Go to the orientation
If your child’s school is hosting an orientation or back-to-school night, take advantage of it. Often children are worried that they will not know how to get to the bathroom, where to eat lunch, or how to get to a locker. If your school does not offer one or you are unable to make it, ask the teacher if it would be possible to stop by for a visit. Teachers are usually in their classrooms prepping for the new school year in advance.
3. Meet the teacher
For kids, wondering if they will like their teacher is a big source of fear. If your child isn’t comfortable in the teacher’s classroom, he or she will be less likely to be ready to learn. Many teachers will make themselves available for a phone or video call or will return an email if a visit is not possible.
4. For younger children, read books or watch educational cartoons
In August, local libraries will often display books about starting school or going to a new school. These materials can help children read about and see what a typical day will consist of and what they will learn in school.
5. Take your kids shopping with you
Your kids will be more excited to use their back-to-school supplies if they picked them out. Doing so will help them feel prepared and will also provide an opportunity to talk about how the new supplies might be used in the coming year.
6. Set up school “zones” and establish clear expectations
At home, establish a location for school materials such as a place to put backpack and lunchbox, and set up a distraction-free homework zone (like the kitchen table with the TV turned off and phones/tablets put away). Set up homework and study times (for example, Monday–Thursday from 3:30–5 pm) to help manage expectations and build and maintain good routines.
7. Practice your new routine
Both children and adults can benefit from practicing the new school routine one to two weeks before school actually starts. Stage a morning dry run to see how long it takes you and your children to get out of the door in the morning. It will not only help you predict how early you and your kids need to get up, but your children will benefit from learning what to expect each weekday.
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Having a good relationship with your child’s teacher will make it easier for you to share concerns and work together to help your child thrive. Here are some tips for building a partnership. Here are some tips to help parents build a good relationship with their child’s teacher.
1. Meet with the teacher and staff early
Teachers are usually swamped at the start of the school year. But try to meet as soon as the teacher can. At your first meeting, find out how the teacher prefers to communicate it can be either by phone, email, or some other method.
2. Help the teacher get to know your child.
Sharing information is key to a good parent-teacher relationship. Tell the teacher about your child’s interests, strengths, and challenges. If your child has an special need, make the teacher a aware, and let the him or her know about situations outside of school that might impact your child’s learning or behaviour.
3. Be respectful of the teacher’s time.
Be on time for appointments, whether they are phone calls, video meetings, or parent-teacher conferences. Try to wrap things up within the allotted time. The teacher may have other parents scheduled after you or other meetings and commitments. You can always set up another call to finish up.
4. Recognise the teacher’s efforts.
If you are meeting in the classroom, look for displays of students’ work or teaching materials that you can compliment. If you are somewhere else, start things off with a positive statement, like something your child enjoys about the teacher’s class.
5. Never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child.
Showing your respect for a teacher will set a good example for your child.
6. Participate in school events.
Take part in school events when possible. This shows that you’re part of the school community and want to be supportive. Offer to volunteer in a way that works for you, whether it’s at school or at home on your own time.
7. Say “thank you.”
Show your appreciation for the big or little things the teacher and other staff do for your child. Thank-you notes and emails can go a long way toward building positive relationships.
