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Qualities to look out for in your marriage counsellor –Part 2

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A counsellor should be able to provide strong support

A counsellor should be able to provide strong support

 Finding the right marriage coun­sellor can be a daunting task, but it is a crucial step in building a strong, fulfilling relationship. Last week, we discussed the importance of professional qualifications, rapport building, strong communication skills, and an impartial attitude in a mar­riage counsellor.

However, there are more essential qualities to consider when selecting a counsellor to guide you. In this sec­ond part, we will explore additional characteristics which make a mar­riage counsellor effective, supportive and trustworthy.

5. Firm ethical standards and pro­fessionalism

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When it comes to matters as deli­cate as your relationship, among oth­er things, ensure that your marriage counsellor adheres to a strict code of ethics and professional practice.

Ethical standards ensure that the counsellor’s actions and decisions are guided by a strong moral compass, promoting trust, respect, and fair­ness.

Professionalism goes hand in hand with ethical standards, as it sets the tone for a productive counselling or therapeutic relationship.

Generally, the counsellor should maintain professional boundaries including confidentiality, respect­ing your privacy and autonomy, and demonstrating integrity in their practice.

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Confidentiality simply means that anything you discuss during your sessions will remain confidential unless there is a legal obligation or an imminent risk of harm. Knowing that your personal matters will be kept private allows you and your partner to be open and honest without fear of judgement or breach of trust.

Remember, finding a marriage counsellor with firm ethical standards and professionalism is crucial for your journey towards a happy and fulfilling marriage.

6. Problem-solving skills

Your counsellor should possess ef­fective problem-solving skills required to help you and your partner identify the underlying issues in your rela­tionship, and develop strategies for resolving conflicts and challenges in your relationship.

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7. Empathy and compassion

Look for a counsellor who genu­inely cares about your well-being and demonstrates empathy and compas­sion.

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes and truly understand their emotions and experiences. On the other hand, compassion goes hand in hand with empathy.

Whereas empathy enables the counsellor to understand your emo­tions, compassion takes it a step further by prompting them to act on that understanding with kindness and care.

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Compassion is the gentle hand that guides you through difficult conversations, allowing you to face the challenges in your relationship with courage and love. A compassion­ate marriage counsellor will provide strong support, offering a safe haven for you and your partner to express yourselves freely.

Your marriage counsellor should be able to understand and validate your emotions, providing a support­ive space for you to explore your concerns. A professional marriage counsellor will try to understand your perspectives, challenges, and aspi­rations, ensuring that no voice goes unheard.

When choosing a marriage counsel­lor, remember empathy and compas­sion are not just nice-to-have quali­ties; rather they’re essential pillars that contribute to the success of your counselling journey.

8. Cultural sensitivity

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Look for a counsellor who has in-depth understanding about your different cultural backgrounds, and is sensitive enough to help you through your diverse cultural beliefs, practic­es, relationship dynamics and chal­lenges.

Marriage counsellors who are cul­turally sensitive take the time to truly understand your individual histories, backgrounds, and values, recognising that these factors shape your per­spective on marriage (whether good or bad). They should honour you and your partner’s differences and work with you to find common ground, fos­tering an environment of inclusivity and acceptance.

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprin­ceass.wixsite.com/edu-counsel­ing-psych

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https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCI­ATES CONSULT (CPAC)

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…Tips on healthy eating for children during holidays

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 During the holidays, it is important for children to enjoy it and indulge in holiday treats while maintaining healthy eating habits and making balanced choices.

Setting children up for healthy eating during the holidays is an excellent way to begin building their holiday eating habits as they grow into adults.

Here are some tips to help parents and guardians ensure healthy eating habits for children during the holidays.

  1. Be a role model.

Parents and caregivers play an essential role in influencing children’s eating habits. Offer children the same balanced meal you cook for yourself and other adults. Avoid making negative comments about food or the meal and keep mealtimes.

Keep to a consistent schedule.

A routine schedule can help minimise grazing and boredom eating. Try to offer three balanced meals and set snack times. Do not offer an alternative to the meal you plan to make for the family. But if your child does not like what is provided, don’t force them to eat if they are uninterested. Let them know that if they are hungry later, they can eat what was offered.

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Involve your children in meal prep.

Focus on balanced meals that include vegetables, lean proteins and complex carbohydrates.

Make healthy swaps.

Consider making healthy swaps, such as using whole wheat flour, offering whole fruits, reducing the sugar in baked goods, and limiting added sugars, especially from sugar-sweetened beverages like hot chocolate and eggnog. Consider making your beverages at home to reduce and control the amount of added sugar.

Encourage active play.

Make the holidays a time to engage in family activities. Take family hikes, spend a day at the beach or the bay, or enjoy a stroll in the neighborhood or a local park. These activities can help improve appetite and relieve boredom.

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Till death do us part? The changing face of marriage, divorce in Ghana

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Marriage has long been celebrated as a lifelong union built on love, commitment and mutual support. Across Ghana, wedding ceremonies continue to bring families together with the hope that couples will remain together “till death do us part.” Yet, behind the colourful ceremonies and joyful celebrations, an increasing number of marriages are ending in separation and divorce, reflecting the changing realities of modern family life.

According to the 2021 Population and Housing Census, about 42.9 per cent of Ghanaians aged 12 years and above are married, while 4.8 per cent are divorced and 3.5 per cent are separated, indicating that marital dissolution affects thousands of families across the country.

These figures suggest that although marriage remains a cherished institution, divorce has become a growing social reality.

For Ama, a 38-year-old businesswoman in Accra, divorce was never part of her plans. “We loved each other deeply when we got married,” she recalled. “But after years of constant arguments, financial pressure and poor communication, we realised we were hurting each other more than helping each other.” After ten years of marriage and two children, Ama and her husband decided to divorce. Her experience mirrors that of many Ghanaian couples who begin their marriages with hope but later struggle to overcome life’s pressures.

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Marriage counsellor, Mr Patrick J. Tengey explained that poor communication remains one of the leading causes of marital breakdown. “When couples stop talking and listening to each other, unresolved disagreements gradually become resentment,” he said. He added that financial difficulties, unemployment, infidelity, domestic violence, substance abuse and unrealistic expectations continue to place enormous strain on marriages.

His observations are supported by research conducted by psychologists Joseph Osafo, Kwaku Oppong Asante, Charlotte Asantewaa Ampomah and Annabella Osei-Tutu of the University of Ghana. Their study, which analysed divorce cases from courts in the Greater Accra Region, identified infidelity, financial problems, abuse, lack of intimacy, third-party interference and conflicts over gender roles as the major factors contributing to divorce in Ghana.

Marriage counsellor, Grace Mensah, believes many broken marriages could have been saved if couples sought professional help earlier. “Communication, trust and conflict resolution are skills that must be learned,” she said. “Unfortunately, many couples only seek counselling after the relationship has already reached a crisis.” The emotional and financial consequences of divorce often extend beyond the couple themselves.

Mrs Ofosu, a resident at Bohye, explained that children frequently experience anxiety, emotional distress and academic difficulties following their parents’ separation. “Children deserve stability,” she said.

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“Even when divorce becomes necessary, parents must continue working together for their children’s welfare.”

Family lawyer, Evans Nii, noted that many divorce cases involve disputes over child custody, maintenance and property distribution.

He explained that under Ghana’s Matrimonial Causes Act, 1971 (Act 367), the court may grant a divorce only when it is satisfied that the marriage has broken down beyond reconciliation.

The law also considers issues such as adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion and prolonged separation when determining whether a marriage has irretrievably broken down.

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He further explained that Article 22 of the 1992 Constitution protects the property rights of spouses during and after marriage, while the Children’s Act, 1998 (Act 560) requires that the best interests of the child remain the court’s primary consideration in custody decisions.

Religious leaders continue to encourage forgiveness, patience and reconciliation where possible. However, many acknowledge that marriages characterised by persistent domestic violence or abuse require immediate intervention to protect victims.

 Experts believe strengthening marriages requires both personal commitment and institutional support.

Premarital counselling, relationship education, financial planning and accessible counselling services, they say, can help couples navigate the challenges of married life before problems become overwhelming.

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French-American journalist, Mignon McLaughlin, once observed that, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche similarly argued that “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Their words continue to resonate with many relationship experts who believe lasting marriages depend on continuous effort rather than romantic feelings alone.

As Ghanaian society evolves, so too do expectations surrounding marriage. While divorce may sometimes provide safety and a fresh beginning for those trapped in abusive or unhealthy relationships, many experts believe stronger communication, mutual respect and timely counselling can help preserve marriages that might otherwise end in separation.

Ultimately, the promise of “till death do us part” remains a cherished ideal. Whether that promise becomes reality may depend not only on love, but also on patience, understanding, shared responsibility and the willingness of couples to grow together through life’s changing seasons.

By Sandra Obeng

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